


A Little Love

by thedrawinggirl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Female Eren Yeager, Jealous Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Being An Asshole, Pining Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:10:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 47,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrawinggirl/pseuds/thedrawinggirl
Summary: Life is truly full of irony. Who would've thought that Eren Jaeger of all people would turn out to be a titan shifter?Eren who was often bullied for her (very) petite stature.Eren who was so fed up with all the prejudices of her being a fragile little girl, that she disguised herself as a boy.Eren Jaeger who wasn't even five fucking feet tall.Yep, that had to be destiny's attempt at sarcasm. Furthermore she's put under the supervision of the one person she had hoped to never see again. At least not like this.She had always looked up to Captain Levi. After all he too was quite short and yet he was called humanities strongest. Eren had admired him greatly, and maybe she did have a little hero crush on him. But she never thought that anything would come out of it. Instead she focused on becoming a soldier, so he would accept her in his squad one day, and she would proudly serve under his command. That truly would have been enough for her.Instead she humiliates herself in front of him, and he pics her dreams apart mercilessly.Now, nearly three years later her dream came true after all, just not exactly how she imagined it. But yeah...life's full of irony.





	1. A little girl's tears

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! ^^
> 
> So this one will be a bit different from my first two stories. (To anyone who might have read my previous stories, I hope you're not disappointed and thanks for the support! :D) Also it's a title with "little" in it again, but actually I had the idea for this story some time ago. I also wrote the summary at that time, so I hope it's still okay.  
> Anyway I'll stick rather close to canon in the beginning but that'll change later on so please bear with me for a while. xD

_„Only fools would consider joining the survey corps.“_

_„What? Fools?! To me, people that are content with living like cattle seem way more stupid!“_

_„Eren!“_

Of course, she heard her mother calling after her. But she didn’t turn around. She simply couldn’t understand her. How could people live like that? How can they just accept everything as it is and close their eyes from the reality? What was so wrong with her trying to fight for her dreams? Why couldn’t her mother and Mikasa just respect her decision? Many people joined the military so why was it wrong for her? It simply wasn’t fair. 

„ _What was that?!“_

She knew that voice. As soon as she turned around the corner she could feel her blood boiling. It was these bullies again and they had Armin backed against a wall.

„You’re only resorting to physical abuse because you can’t prove that I’m wrong. Doesn’t that mean you admit I’m right?“

Eren was quite proud of her best friend. He might not be the strongest physically, but he was much smarter than all of these bullies combined. They could certainly learn a thing or two from her friend. 

„Shut your trap, you rambling nitwit!“ Unfortunately, the trio didn’t seem to realize what true strength was. The leader was just about to punch Armin when she was finally close enough to intervene.

„Stop right there!“

„It’s Eren!“ 

The two lackeys seemed to know what was coming but their leader was stupid as ever. 

„Oi heretic. So you’re hiding behind little girls again? That won’t help much though. I don’t normally beat little girls up, but if she’s being a sassy little shit again, I will.“

Before anybody could possibly respond to that comment a fist knocked him right in the jaw, forcing him to the ground. He couldn’t even move before she pulled him up by the hair only to ram her knee in his face. He looked up at her with a bleeding nose and livid eyes.

„And you are going to be beaten up by _a_ _little girl_.“ Eren couldn’t care less about the damage she inflicted since these boys obviously deserved it. While she was still preoccupied with the leader one of the other came at her from the side. She didn’t react quickly enough and was pressed harshly against the wall. „Eren!“ Of course, Armin was worried about her again. She only hoped he wouldn’t tell anybody. But there was really nothing to worry about. The boy couldn’t even do anything else to her since she quickly brought her leg up and kicked him right in the crouch. Said boy tumbled a few steps backward, clutching his injured area in obvious pain. 

Just when the other lackey grabbed his two friends and helped them escape, Mikasa came around the corner, a worried expression on her face as she took in the scene.

„Eren! Armin!“

As soon as Mikasa reached them, she started to fuss over Eren. But Eren only shoved her away, once again annoyed by her overprotectiveness. „Mikasa! Enough already. It’s alright. They were bullying Armin again and I beat them up. No big deal.“ 

Either Mikasa was deaf to her words or she simply ignored them. Instead, she touched the smaller girl’s cheek, making her flinch slightly. „You’re bleeding.“

Eren quickly whipped at her cheek, though she only managed to smear the blood further, until Armin offered her a handkerchief.

„I’m sorry Eren. That’s my fault. If only I was stronger…“ Eren shook her head though. „That's nothing. It doesn’t even hurt. And next time they’ll know not to pick on us again.“ She patted his shoulder reassuringly, turning around to continue her walk. The other two following closely behind.

„So… why did they pick on you this time?“ 

Armin awkwardly cleared his throat and looked away, when he answered. Looking towards the river they were walking alongside. „Well, I said mankind would eventually need to go outside.“   

Eren clicked her tongue at that. „I don’t understand it. Why does simply wanting to go outside turn everyone against us?“

„I think it’s because it’s been peaceful within the walls for the past 100 years. In order to prevent inviting _them_ in through a reckless attempt to go outside, the king’s government created a policy that made holding interest in the outside world taboo.“

„We’re risking our _own_ lives. It’s our choice to make.“

Apparently, Mikasa thought differently. „I won’t let you. You can’t.“ 

Eren immediately bristled at that. She _hated_ it. Why did people always thought they had the right to tell her what to do, and to make decisions for her. It was like everyone tried to take away her freedom. That was one of the reasons she wanted to join the survey corps. The wings of freedom practically symbolized all her dreams. Apropos survey corps…

„Mikasa, I can’t believe you ratted me out!“

„I don’t remember saying I’d help.“ Eren just threw her hands in the air in frustration. Her sister wasn’t even ashamed to admit it. But of course not. It was Mikasa after all. But before Eren could make her frustration known, Armin chimed in. Successfully diverting her attention.

„What’d they say?“

Eren scrunched her face at the reminder. „Well, they weren’t happy about it.“ Armin gave a sigh in response. 

„I figured. Honestly, I think those who believe the walls will forever provide a life of peace need to face reality. Just because the wall has done its job for the past 100 years, doesn’t guarantee that it won’t be destroyed today… Not in the slightest.“

There was a moment of silence between the three of them until it was harshly disrupted by a bolt of lighting and a heavy convulsion of the ground. They picked themselves up from the ground and looked around for the source. Armin was the first to run in the direction where the noise came from, while Eren and Mikasa were right on his tail.

They stopped abruptly though when they came upon the little marketplace. From here it was clear as day what caused the disruption.

A titan.

But not just any titan. No. That one looked right over the wall. Nobody seemed to know how that was even possible, since as far as they knew titans were fifteen meters at most, while the wall was at least 50 meters high. 

It was kinda ridiculous, really. They literally just talked about it. Now people knew that they were right all along, but right now she wished she was wrong after all. 

Nobody dared to move, or rather everyone was frozen in shock and fear. But it didn’t last long. Suddenly there was a loud crash from the gate in the wall, and big rocks and pieces of the wall flew in all directions, burying people underneath them. 

And suddenly the people started to run, screaming, crying, falling.

Eren didn’t care about the other people, running in the opposite direction from her. Except for Mikasa, who of course was still by her side. But Eren had only one goal in mind, her home. She couldn’t leave without knowing her mother was in safety too.

As she turned around the corner though, her eyes widened and her breath hitched. One of the rocks from the wall had crashed right into their house. NO!

„ _MOM!_ “

When they got closer she saw the prone form of her mother, half of her body buried by the collapsed remains of their home. And she called out to her again, with even more desperation now. Finally, the women stirred, blinking her eyes in confusion and pain, before she realized what happened.

„Eren!“

Eren ignored her though, turning to her sister instead. „Mikasa, hold that side! We’ll lift the pillar!“ She attempted to lift the other side of the debris that covered her mother but the heavy wood just wouldn’t budge. That's when they heard the crushing noise of gigantic footsteps. The two sisters turned their heads, only to see that Titans had forced their way inside the wall. 

„Hurry, Mikasa!“

„I’m trying!“

„The Titans have come inside, haven’t they?“ Carla turned to Eren with frantic eyes. „Eren, you and Mikasa…run away. Hurry!“

Eren didn’t relent though. In fact, she tried even harder to move the pillar, with all her strength. „I want to run away too! So get up already!“ 

Her mother looked up at there with desperation, eyes still impossibly wide. „My legs were crushed by the rubble. Even if I get out of here, I can’t run. You understand, right?“

Tears sprang to Eren’s eyes. She was way too stubborn to just accept the harsh reality as it was. „I’ll carry you then!“

Carla started to cry too because of her daughter’s stubbornness, starting to yell in her desperation. „Why don’t you ever listen to what I tell you?! At least listen to my final request! Mikasa!“ She turned to her adopted daughter instead, trying to make at least one of them see reason. Mikasa wasn’t any more willing to leave her side though. „At this rate, all three of us will-…“

She cut herself off though when she heard the tell-tale whirr of the 3dmg the soldiers use. „ _Hannes!_ Take the children and run!“ 

The military clad man landed close to them, kneeling down next to Carla. „I can’t have you thinking I’m that small a man, Carla. I’ll butcher that titan and make sure to save all three of you!“ With that Hannes got up, running toward the titan, while drawing his swords. Not stopping when Carla called after him. When he stood in front of the titan though, seeing its grinning face, he faltered in his steps, face contorting in fear. 

Instead of attacking the titan he shoved his blades back inside their holding, running back to Carla and her daughters. He picked up Eren easily throwing her over his shoulder, while rushing over to Mikasa, picking her up too.  

„Hey, Hannes! What’re you doing?!“ Of course, Eren struggled against the hold the man had on her. But it was a futile attempt, she wasn’t strong enough to be able to win against a trained soldier.

Carla on the other hand just gave the man a teary smile. „Thank you.“ 

Eren struggled even more, the further Hannes took them away from her mother. „Mom is… She’s still…“ She reached her hand out as if to grab Carla’s hand, even though the distance was way too far for that already. Her mother's hand stretched in her direction as well, shouting after them. „Eren, Mikasa! You two need to live on!“

Eren was helpless to do anything but watch when the grinning titan shoved the pillars of their house out of the way and picked her mother up. Her tears flowed freely now, while she screamed at the top of her lungs for it to stop. 

Everything was futile though as she saw with her own eyes, as her mother was lifted high in the air. And just like that the titan bit her in half splattering her blood everywhere, crushing Eren’s world and remaining innocence in that one little moment.

All the while Hannes just kept running, moving them as far away as possible. Only when they were quite a distance away, did Eren start to awake from her shock-induced trance. Being the emotional person she was, her first response was anger. So she started to hit the man who carried her with all her might.

„Eren? What?“ Eren looked at him with teary eyes, but a livid expression. „We could’ve saved Mom! Why the hell would you do that?! We could’ ve saved Mom!“ The young brunette yelled at him, while she kept hitting Hannes on the back of his head.

„Cut it out.“ With a swift movement, he threw Eren over his shoulder, to the ground. He had no time to care for being more gentle with her. Mikasa immediately wiggled out of the guard’s grasp and rushed to Eren’s side.

„Eren…“ Eren turned sharply to face the man in all her anger, as he kneeled down in front of her. „You couldn’t help your mother because you’re weak.“ Eren’s face contorted in anger and she threw herself forward, letting her fist fly to the man’s face. Hannes caught her wrist though, keeping it in a strong grip. 

„I… I couldn’t face the titan because I was scared!“ Her eyes widened when Hannes started to cry as well. Slowly her anger evaporated and was replaced with deep grief, making her tears increase. 

Of course, she still had a lot to say to the man. He didn’t even try to fight. She thought even if you are scared, you should still try your best. Because what else was there but to fight back? Humanity couldn’t flee forever. And how could he know that Eren wasn’t strong enough when he didn’t even let her try? 

But none of that mattered anymore. None of that could bring her mother back. It did no good to complain about what could have been. It was too late. 

And at that moment she realized that it was true. She _wasn’t_ strong enough. It was not only because she was a ten-year-old girl, but also because humans, in general, were weak. They lived in fear of the Titans, their little struggle against them almost futile. 

But that couldn’t be the end of it. No. They _had to_ fight. 

When she saw the armored titan break through wall Maria, she swore to avenge her mother. To fight back, no matter what it’d take. Maybe she was weak, but she would not sit around and wait for the world around her to fall apart. If a little girl couldn’t be strong in this world than she would no longer be one. She would become strong.

 


	2. A little girl's dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is a recruit now. She has lot's of dreams and ambitions. Of course she always tries her best, unfortunately that's not always enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. :)
> 
> I apologize that the second chapter is a bit late. My plan was to have weekly updates, but I struggle a bit with the first chapters, since the ideas I have are more for the later chapters... But I managed in the end (at least I hope so).  
> There's a little time skip to her days in the training corps. Also I wanted to mention that I changed the timeline a bit. So they started training with 15 and this chapter takes place one year after that.  
> Anyway I hope you enjoy it, and happy late eastern! :D

„Oh damn… Not again, Jaeger.“

Eren turned around to face the source of her annoyance. „Shut up Horseface. I wasn’t even talking to you.“

Jean just rolled his eyes. „I’m tired of hearing it all the time. Captain Levi did this, captain Levi said that. Yes, we know captain midget will come here tomorrow and that you’ve got the biggest fucking crush on him."

Eren stood up and walked over to where Jean was sitting. „You wanna repeat that Kirstein? I couldn’t hear you clearly with all that neighing.“

Jean stood up too at that. „I said that you’ll probably drool all over him Jaeger. Your crush on him is so obvious it’s painful.“ 

„Ha! Very funny pony boy. That’s some big talk for someone who’s been infatuated with my sister from day one. _That_ is the definition of painfully obvious.“ 

Jean blushed, while his expression turned from amused to furious, and he pulled her closer by the collar of her shirt until their noses nearly touched. „ _Shut the fuck up Eren, you don’t know shit about me!_ “

Eren just grabbed his wrist and twisted it until he gave a pained yelp and had to let her go. She regarded him with furrowed brows, while she readjusted her shirt. „Oi, aren’t you overreacting a bit? I mean everyone knows how you feel about Mikasa. No need to pretend otherwise. Also, the reason why _I_ was angry in the first place is that you judged the captain just for being short, even though he is our strongest soldier. I’m short too and I could kick your ass anytime. So don’t judge people, when you don’t even know them.“

„Neither do you, and you’re still head over heals for him.“

Eren was about to retort something, when Mikasa stepped next to her, giving her a warning look. So instead she just brushed past Jean but not without shoving him roughly. 

Of course, Mikasa was not far behind. She entered their room just when Eren threw herself on her bed, letting a heavy sigh escape. Her sister sat down on the edge gazing at her with a worried expression. „Are you alright?“

„I’m _fine_ Mikasa. I don’t get what he was so angry about anyway.“

„Well, I don’t think Jean likes me like that anymore.“ At that Eren sat up abruptly and looked at the raven-haired girl in bewilderment. 

„Are you kidding? Didn’t you see how he blushed? He’s been infatuated with you since our first day.“ Mikasa just gave her a pitying look, as if _she_ was the one missing the obvious. Suddenly she seemed to remember something and her face darkened as she fixed the brunette with a stern gaze.

„Is it true what Jean said? You like that midget captain?“

Eren gaped at her for a moment, before she snapped out of it and threw her pillow at her sister. „What the hell Mika? You should know better than that. Only because I admire him for his skills and accomplishments doesn’t mean I… As if I’d care about stupid, girly stuff like crushes. I’m _not_ some little girl!“ 

Mikasa only sighed in response. „If you say so. Anyway, we should go to bed early. Instructor Shadis is probably going to be especially strict tomorrow.“

Eren agreed with a soft humming noise and stood up to go prepare herself for bed. But even hours later when she was supposed to sleep she stared up at the blank ceiling and asked herself why they would think something like that. 

Sure, captain Levi was a hero to everyone. And she did admire him, a lot. In fact, he was kind of a role model to her. Whenever someone would tease her for her petite stature or when they tried to tell her that she was not fit to be a soldier, let alone a member of the survey corps, she would bring up Levi. It really didn’t matter to anyone that he was only five’ three“, he still was „humanities strongest“. But it wasn’t always like this, he probably had to work too for the recognition of the people too. It only made her respect him even more. And if he was able to work his way up there, then she could surely do the same if she just put enough effort into it. Maybe if she worked really hard he would recognize her efforts and accept her in his squad. With that pleasant thought in mind, she turned to her side and closed her eyes to sleep. Tomorrow she would give her very best and impress the captain with her surprising strength and determination. 

Unfortunately, the next morning didn’t start in the best way possible. Eren overslept, probably due to her lack of sleep the night before. She was just able to make it in time before the instructor started. Her hair was a mess, even if it was rather short now, she also wore the uniform from the day before with stains from yesterdays soup on it. Not that she cared much about her appearance, after all, she tried to look like a male most of the time. Even so, it probably wasn’t the best way to make a good first impression. But she quickly shrugged it off, this was about her skills. Who would even care for a few, barely visible stains?

A few minutes later Instructor Shadis stood in front of them, accompanied by two men. One of them was tall and broad with blond hair and a set of rather impressing eyebrows, Commander Erwin Smith of the survey corps, as she knew. The other was short, his raven hair styled in an undercut. While the gaze of his blue-grey eyes was piercing, his expression didn’t show any emotion at all. In fact, he seemed rather bored with his current task. 

„As you probably already know, this is Erwin Smith the 13th commander of the survey corps. And this,“ he gestured to the captain. „is captain Levi. They’re here to observe your skills, and to tell you a bit about their branch. If you plan to join the survey corps than you better show more enthusiasm than your usual lackluster performances, got it?“

„Who’d want to join the survey corps voluntarily? Except for some madman.“ Of course it was Jean who just couldn’t keep his horse muzzle shut. Not to mention that he gave Eren a pointed look, during the last part. Fortunately he quickly shrunk back under the instructor’s glare. 

Before instructor Shadis could explain anymore though captain Levi suddenly stepped forward, and for some inexplainable reason his gaze was fixed on Eren and he marched forward until he towered slightly over her. She gulped heavily, trying not to panic. But the way Armin fidgeted nervously next to her, and Mikasa on her other side glared daggers at the short captain didn’t help in the slightest. What the hell did she do wrong to draw his attention like that? Was it because of Jean’s stupid comment and the way he glanced at her? She would fucking shave his stupid two-toned hair if that’s the case. 

„What’s your name, cadet?“

Eren gulped yet again, his close proximity not helping her whatsoever.„E-Eren Jaeger, L- um Sir!“ _Oh fuck no_. Did she just fucking stutter? Not to mention that she nearly called him _Levi_. Not even his own squad did that. She felt an unfamiliar heat rise to her cheeks. What the hell was wrong with her? 

„Why the hell do you look like that, Jaeger?“

 _Eh…what?_ She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He couldn’t possibly have noticed the little stains on her jacket and trousers from all the way over there, _right?_

„I asked you a question, cadet. Now fucking _answer_ it.“

Eren gulped yet again. „I-I’m sorry but I’m afraid I don’t understand your question sir.“

Levi clicked his tongue in obvious annoyance. He reached forward, pulling her jacket until the stain was clearly visible. „I’ll make it simple for you then. _What the fuck is that?_ And what happened to your hair? You look like you just slept in a heap of rubbish. Disgusting.“ Levi’s scowl deepened even more and Eren visibly flinched. This had to be some kind of dream, right? Or rather a nightmare. She didn’t actually got humiliated like that in front of everyone, by captain Levi no less, _right?_

Suddenly her temper took over. Even if he was humanities strongest, that didn’t give him the right to humiliate her like that and she would _not_ stand for it.  

„Well, my appearance didn’t seem to bother anyone else. Isn’t that reaction a bit exaggerated, _sir?_ “

Grey eyes narrowed at her. He let go of her abruptly, making her stumble a few steps backward. „Tch, aren’t you a mouthy little brat. Fine then, run around like a filthy pig if you like it that much. But it doesn’t make you look more like a male if that's what you were hoping for.“

Eren gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. Unable to form a reply, Levi continued instead. „With a scrawny figure like that it’s impossible for you to pretend to be a male _soldier_. Not that you look very feminine either, but if I was you I’d just stop trying.“ With that, he turned around making his way back to the front. Commander Erwin gave him a disapproving look, probably for discouraging someone to join the survey corps.

Meanwhile, Eren was left frozen in place. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been that embarrassed or if at all. Mikasa had slung her arm around her shoulders, probably to comfort her, while she glared even harder at the captain now. Armin also leaned in and whispered soft reassurances to her, normally she would appreciate that he risked not paying attention to comfort her but at the moment she simply couldn’t bring herself to respond.

Why did that have to happen to her of all people? That horse face got scolded for being late and his disheveled appearance every other day. But of course today of all days it had to be her. Also, the captain's words had stung more than she thought was warranted. Sure he was quite blunt and his words harsh, but that didn’t justify the stinging pain in her chest. For some indiscernible reason, she felt… _rejected_. 

But for what’s it worth. Captain Levi might not be the flawless hero, she pictured him to be but that didn’t mean she couldn’t still impress with her skills. Why would she even care if he didn’t like her personally? She wanted to be accepted in his squad because of her skills anyway, it didn’t really matter if he liked her or not. 

Even when she thought so, she felt that unfamiliar sting again. For some reason, the thought didn’t sit well with her. 

She quickly shook these confusing thoughts off though and joined her comrades in preparing for today’s course. Although she was a little bit disappointed they had 3dmg training today. Of course, by now Eren was fairly good at using the gear. As she should be after all the effort she put in improving her technique, not to mention the disaster on her first day. She was still quite glad that it had only been a malfunction of her gear and that she wasn’t actually completely incompetent.

Still, Eren would’ve preferred hand to hand combat. After all none of the recruits were as good in combat as she was. Except maybe Annie and Mikasa. But Annie never really tried to participate and Mikasa would never raise a hand against her, even though Eren told her countless times it was okay to do so, but of course her sister wouldn’t listen. She would’ve loved to show off by throwing a buff giant like Reiner to the ground, that would surely have impressed _anyone_ , given their difference in height and stature. 

Unfortunately luck was not on her side today. But she’d make the best of it. She would put even more effort into her work. If she really concentrated she was able to overtake even Jean. Maybe she could also try some of the more advanced spins Mikasa had shown her the other day. With her resolve made, she positioned herself right next to Jean in the front line, sending him a cheeky smirk.

„Is that supposed to be a challenge, Jaeger?“

„You bet horse face. I’ll leave you in the dust today.“

„As if. So you didn’t get enough humiliated already?“ 

Eren’s face darkened at the reminder and she dug her elbow sharply into his side. „Eat shit, Kirstein. You’re just a bad looser.“

Jean was about to retort when the instructor gave them the signal to start and Eren dashed off, gaining a slight head start. Jean was right behind her though, while the others hung back a bit. 

Jean gave his best to catch up with her, using some tricky maneuvers to gain speed. Nevertheless, Eren was the first to reach the target. She used all her strength to do one of Mikasa’s moves and managed a clean and deep cut. While she took a few seconds to celebrate her victory Jean caught up with her and was even slightly ahead of her now. 

„The next one’s mine!“

„Keep dreaming horse face.“ With that, she was right on his heels again. 

It went on like that for a while. Eren and Jean battling for the most „kills“, except for Mikasa and Annie, who were both slightly ahead of them, while they took their own paths and found different targets. Reiner and Bertolt were not far behind either. Even so, Eren’s and Jean’s competition attracted the most attention. 

At the moment Eren was ahead of Jean again. It was always difficult to find the last targets since typically those were the better-hidden ones. While Jean was better at using the gear effectively, so as not use too much gas, Eren had a knack to notice things others might oversee. 

Just when she thought she might have found one and was about to turn to her right, she heard someone moving slightly above to her left side. She turned her head in that direction instead and was nearly frozen in awe. The person was none other than captain Levi. Now she understood why he was so good at killing titans. Not only did he move incredibly fast, but his movements were also smoother and agiler than anyone else’s, she’d ever seen. Not even Mikasa came close to that level. 

She didn’t realize how long she’d watched him, when suddenly she heard someone shouting to her right. Before she could so much as turn her head around, something heavy crushed right into her. Eren was not quick enough to react, and suddenly she landed harshly on the muddy ground. She wheezed as the weight that brought her to the ground in the first place, landed heavily on top of her.

„FUCk! Your head is even harder than I thought Jaeger.“

When she realized, who had caused her ungraceful landing in the mud, she immediately leashed out. „What the fuck horse face?! Cant you pay attention? I know it might be hard with your little horse brain but you nearly squashed me to death!“

„ _HUH?!_ You’re the one who needs to pay attention. Your were just hanging in the middle of the path, you suicidal idiot. What were you doing there anyway?“

Eren blushed when she realized, exactly why she’d stopped and tried to quickly brush it off. „Whatever. Just get off of me. You’re damn heavy.“

„I’d love to but our gears are tangled.“

Eren looked down and realized that Jean was indeed right and cursed under her breath. It was that moment that she heard someone land next to them. 

„Tch… You again Jaeger, I should’ve known. And you are the other loud-mouthed brat from this morning huh?“

Eren and Jean looked up at the same time to see captain Levi standing next to them, with his arms crossed over his chest. Eren felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Why did Levi of all people had to be the one to find her in a situation like this? She’d been doing so well before. Were all her efforts in vain?

„I’m sorry Sir! It was a stupid mistake we-…“ She was cut off by Jean, who apparently just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

„We didn’t do anything wrong. There’s no reason to reprimand us for this, Sir. If you paid attention, you must’ve noticed that Eren and I’ve nearly been in the lead and that despite this we did far better than most of the others.“

Eren kicked his shin in an effort to shut him up. She was pretty sure, he just made it worse for them. She gave him a glare that said to just shut the fuck up, but Jean didn’t even look at her. Instead he just kept glaring at the captain.

„Oh? Is that so? Are you talking about your fancy little maneuvers and the number of your so-called kills?“

Now Jean looked a bit confused. „Um yes? What else would I be talking about sir?“

Levi stared down at them with a deep frown. „That's not what makes you a good soldier. I saw your little competition. Do you think that’s what counts in the end? Who killed the most titans? Not at all. What counts is that you manage to stay alive, and to keep as much of your comrades alive as possible. If you only care about your own glory you’re wrong here. Although I suppose you’ll do well in the military police.“

Eren’s eyes widened at that. She quickly scrambled to stand up. Unfortunately she forget that her gear was still tangled with Jean’s and she only managed to faceplant ungracefully into her comrade's chest. She quickly straightened as much as possible and looked at the captain, even though she knew her face was beet red now. 

„Captain! I don’t want to go to the military police. I always wanted to join the survey corps. Actually I hoped that one day you’d accept me as a member of your squad.“

It took her some moments until she realized that she had actually blurted it out like that. More over probably in the worst situation possible. Jean seemed to be half embarrassed on her behalf half shocked that she still wanted that after everything that happened that day. 

Levi, on the other hand, didn’t show any reaction, other than a slightly arched brow. „I don’t accept messy brats, who don’t even know how the spell the word teamwork in my squad. Besides if you are that unconcentrated you’ll be killed on your first mission. You’d do us all a favor if you just join the military police or the garrison. Also don’t go back to training. See that you get yourselves out of that mass and report to the instructor instead. I think you’ve done enough for today.“

Jean blinked stupidly at the captain but before he could think of anything else to say Levi took off again and was out of reach quicker than one might think possible. He sighed in obvious annoyance and began to work on there tangled gear. „Oi, you could help me you know.“

When he didn’t receive a reply he looked up from what he was doing. Eren’s face was turned downwards and her shoulders shook slightly. And suddenly realization hit him. „Holy shit! You… you’re not crying, are you Jaeger??“ His voice was slightly panicked, obviously at a loss for what to do in a situation like that.

Finally, Eren looked up. Her expression was livid but there were indeed tears streaming down her face. „ _Shut up horse face! Just untangle this shit already!“_

Jean kept quite after that. He freed them as quickly as possible. When he stood up he offered a cautious hand to Eren. He was surprised she actually accepted his help. Usually, she never accepted help from anyone but he pulled her up nevertheless. Jean could still see the tears on her face even though she tried to hide them. Instead of teasing her like he usually would he offered her a handkerchief, without saying anything. Eren accepted it and didn’t say anything either. 

While they walked silently through the woods she only asked if he wanted the handkerchief back but he told her to keep it. Otherwise they didn’t talk and it was silent except for the sounds of their comrades still training in the distance. Suddenly it seemed that Jean couldn’t take the silence anymore or felt like he had to say something. „Do you want to… talk or something?“

Eren gave a tired little chuckle at that. „That really motivates me to pour my heart to you, you know.“

„Pfft… as if you’d do any better Jaeger.“

She just sighed and kept silent, while she tried to sort her thoughts. Only some minutes later did she start, seemingly out of the blue.

„You were right.“

Jean turned to look at her, giving her a questioning look. 

Eren didn’t look at him but instead looked straight forward. „I really do have a crush on him. Or I _did_. And you were also right about the fact that I didn’t know him at all.“ She paused and spared him a brief glance before turning back ahead. „I always thought we could… I don’t know- relate to each other. Stupid, I know. But I really admired him. I still do, at least when it comes to his skills. Anyway when he said all these things, it really _hurt_. I can’t even explain why but it hurt. Not only did he belittle my dreams but he also brought me back to reality. That person I liked never even existed outside of my imagination. So in a way I should probably be thankful that he opened my eyes.“

Jean looked at her the entire time. He was quite taken aback by her rather mature words but also by the bittersweet expression on her face.

„Well…there’s one thing I can agree with him. You shouldn’t hide yourself. Don’t pretend to be a man, when you’re not. And I’m not saying that for the same reason as captain short stack. It doesn’t matter if you look like a male or not. But…as much as I loath to admit it, you’re strong no matter how you look. You don’t need to hide a part of yourself, only because you think people think of you as weak. What does it matter what these people, or even someone like captain Levi think of you? You know who you are and what you’re capable of and the people who matter will know too.“

For a moment Eren just looked at him in wonderment, before suddenly a smirk crossed her features. „Wow Jean… I never knew you were so insightful, or that you knew so many words for that matter.“

Jean grimaced. „If that's your way of thanking me, you suck at it Jaeger.“ 

Eren just laughed in response and playfully punched him in the shoulder. Then she ran a few steps ahead and turned around. When she had Jean’s attention she gave him a bright, genuine smile. „Thanks I appreciate it.“

Jean was stunned for a moment. Unable to come up with any kind of response. 

„What is it horse face? Did you forget how to speak? I’m sorry but I don’t understand horse.“

„ _Shut the fuck up, Jaeger!_ “  

She only laughed though and Jean followed her, but not without grumbling the rest of the way. When they came back the instructor was already waiting for them. He scolded them in full volume and they begrudgingly accepted the punishment. But despite everything, in the end of the day Eren was still able to smile.   

 

          

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay.... So please don't hate me for this... >.<  
> I know it seems like Levi is a total asshole right now. But keep in mind this was from Eren's (and Jean's) perspective and they don't really know Levi at that point.  
> It might seem like Eren dislikes him now, but it just means that Levi'll have to work a bit harder when the times comes, right? ;)  
> And you might've noticed that I changed the tags a bit, but Ereri/Riren is endgame, I promise! xD
> 
> Also I apologize if there are more mistakes than usual. I just wanted to post it today, even if that meant not to proofread it. So I hope it's not too bad. ^^,  
> Anyway...thanks for reading! :)


	3. A little captain's doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humanities strongest is not convinced that this brat, who apparently could transform into a titan, was their ally in the war against the titans. However a pair of bright eyes might be able to change his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey! :)
> 
> Here's an early update. But I just had to post today, because I won't be able to update for the next two weeks.  
> I'm really sorry about that but I'm actually going to fulfill my childhood dream and fly to Tokyo! o.o  
> So this is a pretty big deal for me, but I'm still sorry that I won't be able to update.  
> Anyway this time it's Levi's Pov and there's a little time skip again. I hope you like this chapter! :D

„Go on ahead. I’ll be fine on my one.“

„But-…“

„That’s an order, so do as I say.“

„Yes, sir!“

Levi didn’t waste any time, flying in the direction of the last remaining titans. He easily reached the nape of the first one and sliced it with a precision and efficacy that was probably unattainable by anyone else. Meanwhile, the other titan had noticed that a human was in its vicinity and reached for him. The captain easily evaded though, instead, he jumped on its hand. From there he easily spun around to its nape and sliced it neatly as well.

He landed on a nearby rooftop, from where he quickly made it back to the wall too. As soon as he arrived there he heard Hanji confirming that these had indeed been the last titans inside the walls of Trost. There was a collective shout of joy, everyone celebrating the first victory of mankind. It was not Levi’s victory though. Sure he did his part but actually, he didn’t do much more than any of the other survey corp’s soldiers. 

The real victor was just one little brat, now unconscious and shackled in an underground cell. He didn’t really know, how to feel about the kid, being able to transform into a titan and everything. He just got a tiny glimpse of her, while she was nearly unconscious already and held upright by her friends. It didn’t exactly look like that girl was about to attack anyone but the fact, that she was pulled out of a titan’s nape was indisputable as he had seen it with his own eyes.

Nevertheless, he thought it had to be quite shitty. One day you rescue humanity and the next one you find yourself in a filthy cell. He probably wouldn’t appreciate such an outcome if it happened to him.

Anyway, he would just have to see who that kid really was. Erwin wanted him to come along when he goes to meet her, so he would be able to make his own impression. From what he had been told, she was a cadet and wanted to join the survey corps after graduation. If they decided that she was to be trusted, that’d be a plus. In that case, she could be a real asset to their course.

Of course, Erwin had already explained her strategic value to him, but he didn’t listen all that much. First things first. If they wanted to use her abilities, they had to be one hundred percent sure where her loyalties lay. Humanity could not effort to be betrayed by her.

Levi and Erwin met up a few hours later. They went to the military courthouse, where the girl was kept and her trial would take place. Erwin told him that it took forever to get the permission to visit her. Apparently, he even had to call in some favors of old „friends“ in the military police. He wondered briefly why the military police went to such lengths just to keep her secluded but he figured they might be afraid of her and they didn’t exactly like the corps to begin with.

When they neared the dungeons Erwin tried to give him a little pep talk. Trying to convince him the girl was not a lier and how he had a feeling she’d be the last one to betray humanity. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought he already talked to the girl or even knew her before. However he dismissed that thought, as Erwin would surely have told him if that was the case.

When they finally arrived at her designated cell, he huffed in annoyance. The girl was still unconscious. Were they supposed to wait here for hours or maybe even days? Who knew how long the brat needed to recover?

Meanwhile, Erwin didn’t seem to be bothered too much by it. He signaled to the military police soldiers, who left quickly, probably more than glad to be relieved from their duty. The blonde sat down on the only chair, while Levi was left to lean next to him on the wall. _Ass_.  

„So what now, Eyebrows? We’re going to wait here till princess decides to wake up from her beauty sleep or what?“

Erwin gave him a small smirk. „Pretty much. We need to talk to her as soon as she wakes up.“

Levi could tell the commander was hinting at something else but he was too tired for Erwin’s little games. He was aiming for a more direct approach. „So what else do you know about her?“

„ _Now_ you want to hear?“ Levi gave him a flat stare until the other gave in. „Well as you might know, her name is Eren Jaeger. She is an eighteen years old cadet and part of the 104th training corps. Actually, if the Trost-incident didn’t happen she’d graduate in a few days. She placed fifth in her class and has the highest ranking in hand to hand combat. Which should probably be surprising, given her height. Her file says she’s only 4’8 tall but since I know you, I’m not one to judge.“ 

Levi’s glare darkened and he felt the urge to kick the blonde in the shin or maybe to shave his stupid eyebrows.

At that moment they heard some rustling though and turned their attention back to the cell. Seems like the brat was stirring already. He nearly sighed in relieve that was way quicker than he expected. It still took her a few minutes to fully regain consciousness but now that he knew he wouldn’t have to spend hours in this filthy dungeon, he was able to wait patiently. 

Suddenly she sat up with a start. Her eyes were still red and tired but wide. The brown hair which brushed over her shoulders easily was disheveled but fortunately not greasy. Her clothes were in a disarray but clean for the most part, as clean as you could expect clothes to be when you were cart off into a filthy underground cell right after fighting a battle.

She blinked a few times, trying to make sense of her surroundings. When her eyes found Erwin and I they widened even further -if that was even possible. Apparently, she knew exactly who was in front of her. But for a moment none of them said anything. The girl -Eren- seemed to not quite believe her eyes, as she kept rubbing them in disbelief.

For some reason, Levi thought it was kinda cute.

_Cute_? What was wrong with him? Did he just call a girl, who was able to transform into a titan cute? He obviously spends too much time with Hanji. 

Erwin brought his attention back when he cleared his throat. Seems like he was finally ready to start and end this awkward tension. „Do you have any questions?“

Eren flinched slightly when she was suddenly addressed. She tried to gather herself but the confusion and uneasiness were plain on her face. „Um… Where… am I?“ 

_Damn_. What was it with this brat and being all confused and adorable. This was dangerous. Normally he never thought shit like that about people and to start now of all times was probably not a good idea.

„As you can see, you’re in an underground dungeon. You’re currently in the custody of the military police, but we finally got permission to see you a little while ago.“

Eren looked at her shackles with slight trepidation but quickly turned to look at Erwin again. „What about my friends? My comrades from the 104th training unit. Are they… alright?“

There was a bit of desperation in her voice. Apparently, she cared deeply about her friends, that spoke for her. Of course, it could always be an act but somehow he doubted that. Honestly, it rather looked like she was an open book to anyone, emotions displayed on her face plain as day. But it was too early to draw any conclusions, it was better to watch her reactions for a bit longer. 

„We’re talking to them, as well as everyone else who might know something about your past.“

She only nodded in understanding. Even so, she looked quite relieved that her friends were alright. Although Erwin didn’t exactly confirm that all of her friends are alive but he wasn’t about to point it out to her.

After a moment of silence, Erwin pulled a strange looking key out of his pocket. Apparently, it belonged to the girl as her eyes widened in recognition. 

„That key!“

Levi would have been amused at her exclamation since she seemed a bit uncertain that it was actually hers but of course he kept his poker face.

„Yeah, it’s yours. I’ll give it back later. That basement of your house, Dr. Jaeger's house in Shinganshina, holds the secret of the Titans. Am I right?“

Eren looked a bit taken aback but answered nonetheless. „Yes. Probably. That’s what my father said.“

That's when he remembered what Erwin had told him before. Those were the things she had told commander Pixis. She forgot about her father, that basement and the injection, not to mention that her father was missing. It all sounded quite suspicious.

„You have amnesia and your father is missing… Awfully convenient, don’t you think?“

Eren didn’t meet his gaze at all but at his words, she seemed to shrink together somehow. Erwin, on the other hand, gave him that look that said: „Stop being so blunt, you’re not helping anything.“ But of course, that was not what he actually said. „Levi. We’ve already concluded she has no reason to lie. There’s still so much we don’t know yet, but for now, I think the most important thing to inquire about is your intentions.“

„My…intentions?“

„To return to your house, we must retake the Shinganshina district of Wall Maria. It would take drastic measures to seal the broken gate. We’d need your titan strength. Our fate rides on a titan, it seems.“ Erwin paused, studying Eren’s reaction intently. „The Colossal Titan. The Armored Titan. They are probably just like you. Your intentions are the key here. The key to freeing mankind of this despair.“ 

Eren’s eyes widened yet again. Her answer didn’t come immediately though. Instead her gaze was downcast and she mumbled something indiscernible. 

„Oi. Answer the man, scum. What do you want to do?“

At that, she looked up abruptly. The look in her eyes nearly send a shiver down his spine. It was wild, untamable, the look of a true monster. But not necessarily in a bad way. It rather confirmed what he thought about her. 

„I want to join the survey corps, and kill as many titans as I can, sir!“

In a strange way, her honesty appealed to him. Somehow he found it made her more likable than other people since the most people just kept lying and betraying each other for their own benefits.

Eren was different.

Eren was _interesting_. 

„Oh? Not bad.“

Levi pushed away from the wall and walked over to the bars of Eren’s cell. He didn’t even think about how filthy they were when he gripped them. „Erwin. I’ll take responsibility for her. Tell that to the higher-ups.“ He spoke to Erwin and yet he didn’t take his eyes off of her for even a second. „Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I trust her. If she betrays us or goes berserk, I’ll put her down without hesitation.“

Eren visibly flinched at that but didn’t say anything, so he continued. „Upstairs shouldn’t have a problem with that… Nobody except me is suited for the job.“

He finally addressed Eren herself then, even though their eyes were locked for some time already. „I’ll accept your application to the survey corps. Good luck Eren.“ 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far! ^^
> 
> Sorry if the chapter was a bit short, but I didn't have enough time...  
> Oh and just to make it clear, Levi doesn't remember his encounter with Eren from the second chapter. Or maybe he doesn't recognize her? Who knows...? ;)
> 
> I hope you'll forgive me for not updating the next two weeks. But yeah... TOKYO!! O.O (Sorry I can't help myself... xD)  
> Also any feedback is highly appreciated. See you in two weeks then. ;D


	4. A little girl's confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The survey corps sure seemed to have some plans for Eren, that much was obvious. But their behavior was rather more strange than what she expected, leaving her more confused than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Konnichiwa, Minna-san! :D  
> So I'm back from Tokyo and have a new chapter for you.  
> Unfortunately it might be a bit short, but I really wanted to post one before going back to uni.  
> Please also excuse any mistakes I hadn't got any time left to proof read or care about grammar assistance and so on. But I promise I'll look into it and correct the former chapters too. Anyway I hope you still enjoy the new chapter. :)

Eren sat on the sofa, gingerly holding the cloth to the bruises on her cheeks. 

 _Damn, that fucking hurt_. _That bastard sure has one powerful kick_. 

„I apologize.“

She looked up to see it was Erwin Smith talking to her. His expression was nothing but friendly -he even smiled at her- but she couldn’t help but notice his intense stare on her as if he was scrutinizing her from head to toe. 

„But thanks to that, we gained custody of you.“

The commander walked over to her, going so far as to kneel in front of her. And Eren felt slightly overwhelmed by his sudden close proximity, after all, he too was one of her childhood heroes. She averted her gaze, while her answer was short and awkward.

„Um…yeah.“

„We couldn’t have made that proposal go through without your tolerance.“

Was he attempting to sweet-talk her? That was honestly a bit offending. Did they really think she was _that_ dump? She knew exactly why she got beaten up and how that helped Erwin to get his proposal through. Also as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she knew the captain had held back. If he had actually used all his strength, she probably wouldn’t be able to sit here right now -healing abilities or not. 

„You have my respect.“ Erwin extended his hand for her to shake while giving her an even brighter smile.

Okay, she had to admit that was kind of flattering. After all, you don’t get told every day that you had the respect of your childhood hero.

„Eren, we’ll be counting on you.“

She couldn’t help herself but eagerly took his hand, shaking it enthusiastically. „Yes, I’ll do my best!“

Eren flinched when a sudden weight dropped onto the sofa. When she turned her head she saw none other than captain Levi sitting right next to her, legs crossed and his arm casually draped over the backrest, while his hand easily rested behind her head. He was looking at her quietly but otherwise his expression gave nothing away.

„Oi, Eren.“

„Y-yes?“ Damn her stutter. She was long since over that stupid little crush. Absolutely no reason to sound so insecure. But maybe it was a natural reaction, after all, she did get beaten up quite brutally by this man only some moments ago. Right. There was a good, logical reason. Nothing to worry about.

„Do you resent me?“

Eren gaped at him for some moments. Resent him? _Resent him??_ Was he fucking serious? He asks that now? He didn’t seem to care in the past, right? So why the hell would he be asking her that right now? Maybe it was because she was apparently an important asset to the survey corps now and not just some insignificant cadet. She decided to give a relatively neutral answer.

„No. I understand you did what was necessary.“ She averted her gaze though and looked forward with a stern expression. Still, she could feel his gaze on her mustering her intently, until he too averted his gaze.

„I’m glad then. It’s good you’re not as dumb as some of the other recruits.“

Eren quickly turned around again. What was _that_ supposed to mean? Did he just insult her friends? Or was that an insult directed to their past encounter? Before she could implore further though squad leader Hanji chimed in.

„But you took it too far, Levi. You brook a tooth you know?“

Oh right, her tooth. She actually lost one. Strangely enough, it didn’t hurt anymore though. Hanji then proceeded to unravel a cloth, only to reveal her lost tooth. The captain looked at it with an expression she remembered all too well, an expression of absolute disgust.

„Don’t pick that up. It’s disgusting.“ 

Eren nearly giggled at that. _Bull's eye!_ Apparently, he wasn’t always that hard to read. Maybe he noticed that she had nearly laughed because he shot her a quick glance. When he didn’t see any outward change of her expression he directed his attention back to Hanji and the „object“ in their palm though.

„But its a valuable sample.“, the scientist defended. 

In that case, she might just have to agree with the captain for once, as she found it rather creepy that Hanji would keep her tooth. Who knew would else they would want to keep? 

„Eren“ Levi suddenly addressed her. And despite herself, she couldn’t help but flinch again. He gave her an odd look but didn’t comment on it, instead, he just continued on. „Aren’t you glad you didn’t end up getting dissected by her kind?“

„Don’t bunch me together with those guys. I wouldn’t kill Eren.“

Well, that was definitely good to know. As for the captain, she wasn’t so sure though. Looking between them she came to the conclusion that this was some kind of banter between them, just as she did with her own friends. Eren wasn’t exactly sure if she was supposed to answer to any of that. Luckily the squad leader just continued on directing their attention back to Eren.

„Say, Eren. Let me take a peek inside your mouth.“

Eren wondered about that for a moment but figured it was because of her tooth so she just shrugged and opened her mouth for the scientist.

When Hanji looked inside though their eyes widened dramatically and they let out a quiet gasp. At that everyone straightened and looked at the two in alert. Just Levi remained relatively relaxed, even though his gaze intensified on her.

„Your tooth… It already grew back.“

Ah… So it happened again. Just like a titan. She cringed at the thought. Never would she have chosen to be like that. Everyone hated her for being a titan. Even though she herself hated it more than anyone else. It wasn’t like she had a choice in the matter. But this wasn’t the time to dwell on these bitter musings. She attempted a nonchalant answer, giving another shrug for emphasis.

„Yeah. I guess I should’ve known.“

At that they all looked at her with quizzical expressions, which puzzled her in return. 

„Because of what happened in Trost, I mean. You know, when I regrew an arm and a leg?“

All of their eyes widened significantly, even captain Levi’s. Okay… so apparently they didn’t know about that. Maybe she should have just kept her mouth shut. Clearly she had spent too much time with Jean. There was no going back now. In that case she might as well explain the situation thoroughly. 

„Well, you probably know that during the Trost incident I transformed for the first time. At that time I had no idea about that though, it just kinda…happened. My squad was in the front lines, since we were supposed to make time for the evacuation of the citizens. They weren’t quick enough though, the honor guards of the garrison were already eradicated and we had no choice but to fight the titans ourselves.“

Eren gulped heavily. Remembering all to well what happened next, yet she had some trouble to actually form the words.

„That was when the first member of my squad was… eaten. Right in front of us. Thomas was his name… He… he didn’t deserve to die like that… And I… I got angry. So terribly angry that I couldn’t just turn away. I went after the titan that killed him and… and my squad followed me.“

At that her head sunk down and she could feel hot tears burning in her eyes. Their deaths were so obviously her fault. And she felt ashamed that she didn’t even think of them until now. As she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder -probably Hanji’s- she forced herself to continue. 

„I think… I think they were killed there. I can’t be too sure though. Right after that I myself was surprised by an abnormal which jumped and…bit off my leg.“

She paused again. Not daring to look up and meet any of their gazes.

„As I said I don’t know what happened to my other squad mates, but the next thing I knew -after I fell unconscious on a rooftop- I heard Armin’s scream. He’s my best friend since we were little kids. When I realized he was about to be dropped into a titan’s mouth I used my last remaining energy to fly into it’s mouth and threw Armin out of there. I didn’t make it out myself though, since I was long since out of strength and nearly unconscious again. So I got eaten myself during which I lost one of my arms too. Actually I don’t remember much of what happened after that. I think I transformed when I was in the other titans belly already. I guess I killed it from within. After that there was only one thought present in my mind, which was to kill off all the Titans. The next thing I clearly remember was waking up as a human, with both my leg and arm regrown and surrounded by the garrison soldiers and their canons, as they accused me of treason.“

Eren took a deep breath. They would know the rest. She was relieved that it was finally all out and that she was able to remain truthful. But how would they react? Would they look down on her, now that they knew that she was just like a titan? Maybe they would even go back on their proposal and leave her with the military police? She still didn’t dare to look up. There was still a pregnant silence, which only served to fuel her anxiety. 

„So since you didn’t know you were able to transform, you basically sacrificed yourself for your friend?“

At that Eren’s gaze shot up to meet the captain’s. „Of course! Anyone would’ve-…“

„No. Not at all. Actually very few people would do something like that.“

Eren’s furious expression melted into confusion. Captain Levi held her gaze with those piercing silver eyes of his. Her confusion only grew further. Did he just…compliment her? It was hard to tell when there was no change in his expression at all. He didn’t say anymore, but Eren didn’t know what to say either. So they were left in an awkward silence. 

The silence was only interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Eren turned her head only to be met with an amused expression on Erwin Smith’s face. All the while she could still feel Levi’s gaze on her but ignored it for the time being. If he had something else to say he would surely do so, rather sooner than later if she were to guess.

So instead she directed her concentration to the commander, who quickly cleaned his expression of any amusement and took to a more serious expression. Even though she silently wondered what he was amused about in the first place.

„I understand Eren. Thank you for telling us, I’m sure it was hard for you. Hanji and Mike will show you a place to rest for the night. Tomorrow morning you’ll depart with Levi and his squad. Seeing as you’re under his direct supervision, you’re now part of his team, the special operation squad. They’ll supervise and protect you, even though it’ll mostly be Levi’s job.“

At the last part, a sly smile crept on his face. She thought that there was some kind of movement next to her but when she turned to look, Levi did nothing, except that he gave the commander a particularly dark glare. Very confused she looked back at the commander, whose smirk had only widened.

There was clearly something she missed. She quickly shook it off though, as Hanji and Mike approached her. So she quickly thanked the commander and captain and politely wished them a good night, before she followed the two squad leaders. 

Before she left the room though the captain told her to be ready at dusk, quite harshly too. And she had absolutely no idea why Commander Erwin could possibly find that funny, as he chuckled quietly. She was way too tired and confused to try and analyze their strange behavior, so she just nodded her understanding at the captain and went on her way.         

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's the new chapter. :) I know I'm going a bit slow and dragging it.  
> But I promise there'll be some progress and original content soon.  
> I hope you still like it so far and you can expect a longer chapter next week.  
> Until then I wish you the best and thank you so much for reading (and especially for comments!) ^^


	5. A little captain's denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not like Levi is really attracted to the girl. She just happened to have a rather nice smile. The strange feeling in his gut didn't mean anything either. And he was definitely NOT in denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :)
> 
> I apologize that I'm a bit late... But therefor this update is a bit longer.  
> Also, did you guys see the trailer for season 3?? I'm SO hyped right now! O.O  
> Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy! :D

_Damn Erwin and his shitty eyebrows._

He probably felt so high and mighty, thinking he always could see through people and knew exactly what they were thinking. Not to mention those insufferable knowing looks he had given Levi.

Of course, he knew what Erwin was thinking. But he was wrong. _Very_ wrong in fact. If Erwin really thought he would suddenly develop a random attraction to some girl, one that could turn into a titan at that and was potentially dangerous, then he was indeed _very wrong_.

He really should know better than that. When did Levi _ever_ feel attracted to _anyone_? So why would he suddenly feel an attraction to a brat he’d seen twice so far? Usually, Erwin was a very rational person. But this was simply ridiculous. Shaking his head he came to the conclusion that Erwin probably just wanted to make fun of him for his own amusement.

When Levi arrived at the stables the next morning, he was surprised to see Eren already waiting there, since it was indeed only dawn. More reliable than he thought and apparently more reliable than his squad since none of them had bothered to show up yet.

As he walked closer he realized that Eren already tended to the horses. In fact, they were already settled and she was feeding them snacks while caressing them tenderly. If he was not mistaken she even talked to them.

He cleared his throat and made her jump in surprise. „Talking to the horses I see?“ An amused smirk had curled on his lips before he even noticed.

Eren blushed furiously of course, just as he expected. „I um… That’s not… I wasn’t-…“ Levi stepped closer and took the reigns of his own horse.

„Don’t worry about it. Actually, it’s good to form a bond with your horse, after all outside those walls you’ll depend on each other. Besides I’m glad you’re punctual. I didn’t really expect you to, to be honest.“

Eren frowned at that. „Only because I was late once doesn’t mean I always am.“

Levi only raised a brow in return. „So you used to be late in the past, huh? Good thing you’re not any more than, I don’t like tardiness.“

She gave him a strange look, before turning back to her horse, without saying anything more. Levi felt a little confused. Did he offend her somehow? There seemed to be nothing wrong with their conversation though. Normally he wouldn’t really care but the silence between them bothered him for some reason. With a sigh, he decided to try again and hopefully shut up the nagging feeling in the back of his mind.

„So I take it you like horses then?“

He was slightly satisfied when Eren turned back to him, the frown cleared from her face. Apparently, something occurred to her as her face brightened with a huge smile and she actually fucking _giggled_. „Yeah, I guess you could say I love horses.“

Levi was stunned for a moment. For one, the way she said that was pretty weird, but more importantly this was the first time he saw her smiling. Yeah, he did think she was pretty before, but that smile was something else. How it made her eyes shine even brighter and those cute, little dimples. When she smiled she looked simply _stunning_. Before he could even collect himself his squad finally decided to show up. He quickly snapped himself out of his earlier stupor and put on a scolding face.

„You’re late.“

It was a simple statement, yet it made his subordinates squirm uncomfortably. Apparently, they were torn between guilt for making the captain wait and curiosity as they stared at Eren. Eld, Gunther and especially Petra seemed rather excited. Only Oluo gave her a rather skeptical look.

Levi dismissed their tardiness in favor of quickly getting the introduction over with. „Eren, these are your new squad mates. The special operation squad: Petra, Eld, Gunther, and Oluo.“ He pointed each person out to Eren, while the girl looked at them with admiration. How long that admiration would last when she finally got to know them with their rather special personalities and all their quirks, not that he had much room to talk or Eren for that matter. Maybe she fit in better than he thought after all.

Eren brought a fist to her heart in a salute, her expression very serious. „Eren Jaeger, 104th training unit. Pleased to meet you!“

The two taller man chuckled a bit while Oluo just scoffed at her. Peter stepped forward though taking Eren’s hand in hers, shaking it rather enthusiastically. „It’s so nice to finally meet you! But there’s no need to be so formal. You’re now part of our squad.“

Eld shook Eren’s hand too, while Gunther mustered her intently. „You’re nothing like what we imagined though.“

Petra shot him a look, before turning back to Eren. „That’s right, you’re so cute and tiny! Even shorter than I am and that’s saying something.“

Eren grimaced at that. Apparently, she didn’t like when someone pointed out her below than average height. Levi could definitely empathize with that. He felt it was time to step in, only because it was late though. It’s not like he cared if the girl felt uncomfortable. Why would he?

„Alright, that's enough. We gotta go if we want to arrive there before noon.“

He got a chorus of „Yes sir!“ as a response, as they all scrambled to get to their respective horses.

The ride to the former headquarters wasn’t exactly a pleasant one. First, there was a rather uncomfortable silence, that is until Oluo decided to break it. Apparently, Eren’s unexpected appearance made him rather confident, when before he was a bit intimidated by having to deal with a rogue titan. Now that he had seen Eren person though it seemed he tried to intimidate her instead. So far it didn’t seem to work though. If anything she seemed rather annoyed by Oluo’s antics and for some reason he found the scene rather amusing.

Even so, he didn’t let his guard down and didn’t leave Eren out of his sight during the entirety of the ride. Peter who rode next to him caught on quickly and gave him a questioning look, which he blatantly ignored. After a while, it seemed that Eren too noticed his stare, as she suddenly turned her head around. Levi didn’t look away though as their gazes met. Eren on the other hand quickly turned around again but not before he caught a glimpse of her flustered expression and the slight blush on her cheeks. It wasn’t until Petra gave him a really strange look, that he noticed the peculiar smirk on his own face.

Tch… what was is it with that brat and making him show all kind of unfamiliar expressions?

 

_Disgusting._ The state of the old castle was simply disgusting. With all the dust, molt and weeds it’d take at least the rest of the day to clean it all up. Of course, he immediately gave everyone their respective tasks. He just hoped the brat wasn’t as bad at cleaning as the others were in the beginning.

Just as he opened a window in one of the rooms on the upper floors, Eren entered the room, pulling the mask off her face.

„We’re done cleaning the upper floors.“ She took a few steps closer but stopped a safe distance away. That bothered him for some reason. Was she really avoiding him? But why? Because of the beating in the courthouse? She’d said she understood though. It probably shouldn’t bother him that much, but if she was a part of his squad now they needed to be able to trust one another, right?

After a moment she cleared her throat, looking up at him. „Where will I get to sleep in the building, sir?“

There really was no nice way to say it so he decided to be just as blunt as always. „Your room is in the basement.“

Eren’s brows furrowed a bit again. „The basement again, sir?“

He might have felt a bit sorry for the girl. After all, it was not exactly nice to sleep in a cold, dirty cell with no privacy whatsoever. But it wasn’t his place to decide about these things so he just repeated to her what Erwin had told him earlier. „You’re not in complete control of yourself yet. If you drifted off and turned into a titan, at least if you’re underground we can restrain you right away. That was one of the conditions agreed upon for us to get custody of you. It’s a rule that we must follow.“

Eren looked rather baffled for a moment and (again) he had absolutely no idea why. He shrugged it off though and told her to finish this room while he would check the upper floors.

Surprisingly she did a rather decent job cleaning those rooms. Sure there were some little leftover stains on one of the windows and she forgot to dust off the underside of the table but he knew from experience that it could be much worse. All in all, it was not so bad for a first try.

When he came back downstairs he heard Eren and Petra talking. Normally he would have just walked in, halting their idle chat, he didn’t enjoy to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations. But he quickly realized that they were talking about him and for some reason he wanted to know what they had to say about him.

„ -doesn’t come across as the perfect, invulnerable hero people think he is, does he? The true Levi is surprisingly short, irritable, violent, and hard to approach.“

_Tch_ , as if those two had any room to talk about people’s short stature. Also irritable, violent and hard to approach? That was not exactly flattering… Not that he really cared what people thought of him but it was kind of annoying that she said these things to Eren. The girl seemed to have some problem with him anyway, he didn’t need Petra to make her impression of him even worse.

„That’s not it. I was surprised how obediently he accepts the decisions of the higher-ups.“

Well, it’s not like he liked to do what those pigs said. But you had to know how to pick your battles wisely, apparently, the brat still had to learn that. But at least she didn’t seem to mind about the other things Petra said.

„Did you think, that as strong as he is, he wouldn’t care about rank or the chain of command?“

„Well…yes. I expected him not to acquiesce to anyone’s word.“

So that’s what she thought, eh? That he was some kind of rebel? He nearly chuckled. Her way of thinking was really naive but also kinda… cute.

„I don’t really know the details myself, but I heard he was pretty much like that originally. Before joining the survey corps, he was a famous thug in the capital’s underworld.“

Now that was getting a little too close for comfort. Eren didn’t need to know of his past. Not that Petra knew all that much herself but he didn’t like people spreading shitty rumors about him either. It seemed that Eren wasn’t quite ready to give up though.

„But then, why?“

„I don’t know exactly what happened. He was taken into the survey corps under commander Erwin hands.“

„The commander?“

Levi chose that moment to finally make his presence known, stepping around the corner as if he just came back down and hadn't heard their entire conversation.

„Hey, Eren!“

Eren flinched again suddenly standing rigid, while Petra continued swooping, trying to seem inconspicuous -which of course didn’t work at all.

„Y-yes, sir?“

„It’s no good at all. Redo it all from scratch.“ He gave a dark glare but nearly laughed out loud when she immediately bolted out of the door with a hasty salute. It wasn’t that he was angry, at least not with her. But somehow it was fun to watch her reactions or to make her squirm.

As for Petra he just gave her some little extra work, he didn’t take too kindly to people slacking off and this room was clearly already swept. It wasn’t because she told Eren some unwarranted things about him, not at all.

That evening they sat in the dining hall, talking about the future plans, even though he didn’t really see the point in it. It was all up to Erwin anyway. When the topic shifted to Eren’s powers though he noticed that it was bothering her, she probably wasn’t ready to talk that freely about it either so he kindly decided to divert the attention again. His efforts seemed in vain though as Hanji appeared soon after.

Maybe he should have warned the kid not to give them any motivation to talk about titans and her crazy experiments but he couldn’t save her from everything. She would have to learn for herself not to make that mistake again. He just hoped she would function well enough without a decent sleep.

The next morning he was woken by a screaming and wailing Hanji. Not that he had slept very deeply or peacefully for that matter, he never really did. But still, it was definitely not his favorite way of waking up.

When he found out the reason, he was immediately alert though. He didn’t care much for Hanji’s pet titans or those silly experiments. But having someone who killed these titans which were supposed to give humanity more knowledge of the Titans running around couldn’t mean anything good.

Arriving at the scene it was just as he imagined, the Titans already nearly evaporated and there was not a single trace of the culprit. Hanji was -of course- completely devastated and he gave Eren a look that said to not even try to and comfort them, it was no use at the moment even though he too felt a little bit pity for the squad leader since they had put all their heart into planning the experiments. At the moment there was nothing they could do though, so he told Eren to head back.

When he turned around though, he raised an eyebrow at the peculiar scene before him. Erwin had placed his hands on Eren’s shoulders and whispered something to her. There was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Hot and boiling like anger, but not quite.

For some reason, he felt the urge to storm over there, grab Eren’s wrist and pull her away. What the hell was Erwin telling her anyway, that he needed to invade her personal space that much? He couldn’t think of anything that warranted such closeness.

Suddenly Erwin straightened though, leaving a very confused looking Eren. When Erwin’s gaze met his own he seemed surprised for a brief moment, before that annoying, knowing smirk was back on his face. Levi scoffed at the blonde commander and turned to leave, motioning for his squad to follow.

 

When they left for the assembly later that day he told Eren to always stay within two horses of him. For one he found it pretty funny to tease the girl, while she didn’t even realize he was doing so, moreover, she took it all quite serious. Besides it really would be better to keep a close eye on her, as much for her own sake as everyone else’s, even if he wouldn’t admit that out loud.

The next day they started out with some regular training. To his surprise, Eren didn’t lake as far behind the others as he thought she might. Apparently, she was quite capable even if she didn’t use her titan powers. He could see now, how she managed to rank fifth in her training unit.

After that, they sat down to discuss the new plans and strategy Erwin had given them. Levi didn’t exactly take any part in it though. He already knew Erwin’s plan and more of it than what was written down there anyway. Still, he couldn’t quite agree with the plan.

If they’d manage to catch the other shifter sure that would be great but the prize seemed far too high, not to mention that he practically made Eren the decoy. If something went wrong it would be him who’d have to protect her. Not that he really minded but in his opinion, it put Eren and his squad in unnecessary danger. But as always he had no choice but to trust Erwin, he only hoped that he valued their lives enough not to sacrifice them.

„-understand the meaning of the commander's question back then?“

_So that’s what Erwin’s been whispering about to her_.

Still, it seemed like nobody had an idea what Erwin actually meant. And internally he was glad because he had a feeling, they wouldn’t take it so well. Especially Eren.

Back at the old headquarters, they tended to their horses, when the new recruits arrived. It didn’t take long for Eren to find her friends. She hastily but politely asked Oluo for permission to go see them because apparently, she hadn’t even noticed Levi who just came out of the stables.

Oluo dismissed her quickly and told her to „just go already“. But Levi could clearly see how he loved the feeling of „superiority“, what an idiot.

He watched as Eren’s friends turned around when she called for them. The raven-haired girl crushed her immediately into a hug and the blonde coconut head followed soon after even though he was a bit more shy about it. Those two were the two from the trial Levi realized.

The girl still held onto Eren’s hands tightly, as she inquired about Eren’s wellbeing quite loudly and also overly dramatic if you asked Levi.

„Eren, did they do anything terrible to you? Like inspecting every bit of your body or causing you mental anguish?“

_What the hell was wrong with that girl…?_

Eren seemed equally confused by the strange question. „No… Nothing like that.“

„That shorty went way too far. I’ll pay him back in kind someday.“

_Oh yeah? I’d like to see that._ But honestly, all that over the courthouse incident? It wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter. He didn’t see her coming up with a better plan to save Eren’s life.

„Mikasa… I told you to leave it alone already. It doesn’t matter anyway since a long time ago and you know it.“

Before the other girl protest any further though, their other friends appeared behind them and took Eren’s attention away. They took to some idle chatter and Levi started to walk away to give her some time alone with her friends when out of the corner of his eyes he caught how some more recruits joined their group.

Levi stopped dead in his tracks when one of them rushed forward to crush Eren in yet another hug. Only this embrace lasted much longer and Eren too clung to the other guy tightly. Somehow it seemed much more intimate than with the other two, and Levi unconsciously gritted his teeth. The guy was tall and had his hair styled in a two-toned undercut and even though his face a bit on the long side he was rather handsome.

When they finally pulled away, the horse-faced guy still held her face in his hands tenderly and Levi had to turn away from the sight. There was that strange feeling in his gut again. The anger boiling even stronger this time and he felt like punching something or maybe _someone_.

Levi shook his head at himself. There was clearly something wrong with him. He wasn’t usually that hotheaded, especially not without a real reason. Maybe he had caught some kind of shitty illness or something, he’d ask Hanji about it later. But for now, he really had to get a grip on himself, before he did something he might regret. So he firmly turned his back to Eren and her group of friends and… whatever.

 

„Oi, Petra have you seen the brat somewhere? I’m supposed to lock her in for the night but I can’t find her.“

Petra chuckled a bit. Knowing him long enough that it was safe to ignore the glare directed at her. „I’m not sure but I think Eren is still with her friends. Should I go fetch her?“

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance. „No. It’s not your duty to care about her. I’ll get her myself.“

„I see. Good night captain and don’t be too hard on her.“

He just waved her off and went in search of Eren.

When he finally found some of the new recruits, he was disappointed that Eren was not with them. One of them told him though that they’d seen her go in the direction of the stable. Levi slowly made his way there even though he wondered what she could possibly want there at such a time.

_If I find that brat making out there with that horse guy, I swear I’m going to kill them both._

He neared the stable doors wearily. If Eren really had something going on with that guy he wasn’t sure, he really wanted to see that. Not only was it fucking disgusting to do something like that in the stables of all places but it would also… Levi wasn’t even entirely sure why he didn’t want to see that. And honestly, he didn’t even feel any desire to further think about it. But he didn’t really have a choice. After all, it was his duty to make sure that Eren is safely locked in her cell every night.

With his resolve made, he pushed the stable doors open quietly. He stepped in, only to stop dead in his tracks. There where indeed some muffled sounds from the backside of the stable, but they were nothing like what he expected to hear. What he heard were quite sobs and sniffles.

For a moment he considered if he should rather get someone else since he was way too awkward with words to deal with this kind of situation, but after a moment's hesitation he decided against it and stepped closer to the source of those noises. In the darkness, he could just make out the form of a little person at the other end of the stable crouching in the corner. Apparently, she hadn’t noticed him yet so he quietly called out to her. „Eren?“

At that Eren immediately shot up from her position. She quickly whipped her eyes with her sleeves but didn’t quite meet his gaze as she spoke with a hoarse voice unable to contain a quite sob which lingered in the back of her throat. „Captain Levi, sir! I’m sorry, was there anything you wanted?“

Levi scowled at her faux cheerfulness when it was more than obvious that she had just been crying. „I was looking for you since I’m supposed to lock you in that cell every night.“

At that Eren’s eyes widened. „I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize it was that late already.“

„Never mind that right now. Why were you crying?“

Eren whipped over her face again in a panicked motion. „Crying?! I wasn’t-…“

„ _Eren…_ “ He nearly growled her name out and she visibly flinched.

„I’m sorry captain! I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble or anything. And I know I’m quite pathetic. But just now I was told that one of my friends died during Trost. And I… I didn’t even know. Even though it’s all my fault. And I… I’m sorry I’m rambling I should-…“

When Levi saw the fresh tears rolling down her cheeks he couldn’t help but pull her into his arms. It was awkward, to say the least. He never embraced people of his own free will, let alone initiating the contact. And Eren kept squirming uncomfortably in his hold. Instead of letting her go though he only held her tighter pressing her face to his chest.

„C-captain what are you-…?“

„Shut up, brat. Embracing is supposed to comfort another person, isn’t it? So just shut the fuck up and let me comfort you. Cry, scream, do whatever you need to do. It’s only natural. Everyone needs some kind of comfort when they lose someone close to them and everyone is allowed to grieve. You too.“

Suddenly Eren clutched the front of his uniform and let herself cry. She cried and sobbed for what felt like hours while Levi softly brushed his hands over her head and back, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

„It was not your fault, you know. All of the soldiers knew what they signed up for. They willingly offered their lives for the tiniest chance of victory. And you were the one, who brought that victory in the end. If it wasn’t for you there would be so much more death. Who knows maybe those titans would’ve broken all these walls down by now. Anyway, what I meant to say is, you’re allowed to grieve for your friend but don’t blame yourself for things that are out of your control, or you will only start to make worse decisions in the future.“

Eren nodded against his chest but it still took a while until her sobs subsided. When she finally looked up at him her eyes were as red from crying as her cheeks were from embarrassment. „I-I’m so sorry captain. I didn’t mean to…“

„I told you to, didn’t I? Don’t worry about it. As I said it’s only natural and as one of your squad mates I should be there to help you, right?“

That was probably a lie. Levi didn’t think he would have embraced any of the others like that. He chose not to think about the implications of that statement right now. Eren seemed to accept his words though and quietly followed him as they made their way back to Eren’s cell/room.

Eren kept quite the entirety of their walk. Even when they arrived at her cell and she sat on her bed she didn’t say anything. He sighed and locked the cell door. Just when he turned to leave he heard her soft voice.

„Thank you…“

He turned around and caught a glimpse of the half smile on her face before she could turn away. „I told you it’s nothing. Night brat.“

„Goodnight captain Levi.“ It was only a quite mumble but nevertheless, he heard it as he walked back upstairs and even if he wanted to, he couldn’t help the stupid smile that spread across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... I hope you liked the new chapter. ^^  
> Oh but don't think I'll make it that easy for Levi, I'm way to evil for that. >:D  
> He'll definitely have to work for it. 
> 
> Also as always thank you for reading! :)


	6. A little girl's amusement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is finally able to show off in hand to hand combat. And she doesn't quite understand what's Jean's problem or captain Levi's for that matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :)
> 
> Here's the next chapter for you. Even though I'm seriously depressed because of the latest manga chapter...... T.T  
> But yeah... I don't want to risk giving anything away, so I better shut up now. xD  
> I hope you like the new chapter though. :D

The next morning Eren woke with a start. She just had a pretty weird dream. Why would captain Levi of all people try to comfort her? Going so far as to let her cry into his shoulder. A weird dream indeed.

She yawned and stretched looking at the cell door that had already been opened. When she stood up she noticed something lying on her bedside table. It was a neatly folded, white handkerchief. Was that… Levi’s? After all, he must have been the one to unlock her door and otherwise nobody would bother coming down there. Did that mean that her dream, was not actually a dream? She couldn’t help but blush at the thought.

But why would the captain do something like that? Was that his way of comforting people? Even so, why would he want to comfort _her_? He disliked her, found her disgusting even. Why would he suddenly change his mind? Or maybe it was because she was an important tool now and he thought it would be better to calm her down?

In the end, it didn’t really matter, did it? He probably would have done the same for any other soldier. There was no use thinking about it any further. She really shouldn’t be affected that much by a simple gesture of comfort. It was not like there was any deeper meaning to it. And it didn’t hold any meaning to her either. After all, she had other people to comfort her and they would have done so if only she’d let them. Eren wasn’t that little recruit with a huge crush on the captain anymore. She had gotten over it. That’s why the incident the previous night didn’t affect her, at all. Right. 

Arriving a little late at the mass hall for breakfast, she immediately spotted her friends since the other soldiers had settled in the old headquarters too. She quickly grabbed some food but just when she started to walk in the direction of their table she heard someone call out to her.

„Oi brat, where do you think you’re going?“ Eren grimaced slightly, before turning around to face Oluo. 

„I was about to have breakfast. Was there something you wanted?“

Oluo clicked his tongue in annoyance, much like the captain often did. „Don’t get snarky with me you brat. The captain said you should sit with us. Because we need to get to know each other to work better as a team. You don’t need to play with your friends all the time.“

Well, now Eren was annoyed too. Oluo was such a prick sometimes and his imitation of the captain was grating on her nerves too. Instead of picking a fight though, she just huffed and walked past him toward the table with Levi’s squad. She politely wished them a good morning and sat down between Levi and Petra. Not long after Oluo stood behind her with crossed arms and a scowl on his face. 

„Oi, that’s my place.“

Eren slowly turned in her seat to face him, looking at him with an expressionless face. „So?“

The man immediately bristled at that. „ _So?!_ A newbie can’t just take my seat. You can’t just sit so casually next to the captain like that, you’ve gotta work for it first.“

„Well, it’s just a seat though. Of course, if it’s that important to you I can sit somewhere else. But look who’s the brat now.“

There was a snort from beside her. When she turned to look she realized that captain Levi was actually chuckling. She was a bit stunned for a moment but judging by their wide eyes and open mouths the others were just as surprised as her.

_He probably didn’t laugh very often then._

While the others joined in and made fun of Oluo, Eren started to get up but was halted by a hand on her arm. She looked down to find the captain looking at her with an amused expression. „Stay, brat. Oluo can sit somewhere else. I asked you to sit with us after all.“

Eren could only nod and slowly sat down again, while Oluo grumbled something unintelligible and sat at the other end of the table.

The day went much like the previous one, they did their normal training routine and Eren tried her best to adjust and keep up with the others. Except that today they would practice some hand to hand combat too, which honestly Eren was quite excited about.

She couldn’t wait to see how good her squadmates were. In fact, she anticipated a new challenge. Basically, she graduated at the top of her class, when it came to hand to hand combat. Her new squad was an unknown quantity though. And honestly, she couldn’t wait to see how good they were without their gears and swords.

„Captain, how will we pair up? The brat should probably go with Petra, eh?“ 

Eren crossed her arms and looked at Oluo with a raised eyebrow. She wasn’t entirely sure, whether he was serious or just trying to get back to her for that morning. He wasn’t seriously implying she didn’t stand a chance against either of the men, was he?

„Oh, so you’re afraid to go against me? I mean I would have liked to see your abilities for myself but of course, I understand if you can’t stand to be beaten by _some little brat_.“ 

Oluo sputtered and nearly bit his tongue. „ _What?_ I could take down a tiny girl like you anytime, _obviously_. I just tried to spare you, you ungrateful brat. But if the captain agrees I might as well teach you a lesson.“

They both turned to captain Levi at that. Eren half expected him to agree with Oluo and tell her to just practice with Petra, which would be fine since Petra surely was a capable fighter considering she was part of Levi’s squad she wanted to prove that she stood a chance against the others as well. 

Levi looked at them for a moment and shrugged. „Do whatever you want. I don’t really care as long as you train properly.“ His face was as expressionless as always but there was some kind of sparkle in his eyes, could it be… amusement? 

Eren didn’t dwell on it and instead turned back to Oluo with a smirk. „In that case, please teach me that lesson, you were talking about.“

Oluo puffed his chest and got into a fight stance across from her. „Alright, but don’t go complaining later brat.“

At that moment Levi declared that they may start their practice fights. Eren immediately charged forward. Before Oluo even realized what was happening, Eren had hit him square in the jaw, avoiding his defenses easily. Oluo sputtered and nearly choked on his own blood, this time he had bitten his tongue for real. „What the…?! I wasn’t ready yet, you damn brat. That’s not fair and it doesn’t count.“

„Well, it’s not my fault you didn’t pay enough attention. The captain said we were allowed to start, so I did since you were still too preoccupied.“

Oluo whipped the blood from his chin and glared at her. He didn’t say anything else though but instead took the turn to attack Eren. She easily evaded though and even made him trip over one of her feet. Apparently, the others didn’t really bother to train themselves and instead watched their altercation. She could hear them chuckling at Oluo’s expanse and even heard some whistling.

When Oluo stood up his face was bright red, whether it was from embarrassment or anger she didn’t know but he was most definitely angry. 

He quickly came at her again, this time trying to take hold of her arm and probably flip her over too. Eren was too quick for him though. Even though she let him take hold of her arm she used it against him by pulling to the side and throwing him off balance. She delivered a swift kick to the back of his knees, making him fall to the ground. 

Before he could get up again she placed one foot on his chest, not painfully but firmly. 

„Huh… I understand now how you were first in hand to hand combat in your class. Not bad, brat.“

Eren turned around to find the squad looking at her with partly amused and impressed gazes. Captain Levi clearly smirked at her though.

„I think that’s enough for now.“

When Oluo finally indicated that he was ready to give up she removed her foot and instead offered him a hand to help him get up. He huffed and didn’t take her offered hand, standing up by himself. To her immense surprise, it seemed he had accepted his defeat though, even if he still grumbled that in a „real“ fight he would have won.

„Well, I guess the captain’s right though. You’re not terrible at this, but don’t think you’ll win next time.“

Eren grinned cheekily at that. „Oh we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?“

Oluo just scoffed and turned to Petra to practice with her instead, while Eren got paired up with Eld. 

During the next hour, Eren practiced with all of them. Eld and Gunther were not as easily defeated since they didn’t just charge into it like Oluo did but put more thought into their movements, especially Gunther was a challenge for her. Petra was a tricky opponent in her own way and didn’t leak behind the others. Eren was proud though since, in the end, she managed to defeat all of them if a bit closely sometimes. And maybe Eld and Gunther had held back a bit, but nevertheless, she was proud of the result.

Now though it was her turn to against Levi and honestly she dreaded it a bit. She knew he was stronger and more capable than her, realistically there was no way she could win against him. And just a few days prior she had felt for herself just how much damage he could inflict and she was rather certain he wouldn’t hold back in a fight, even if it was only for training purposes. 

When she turned to face the captain and their gazes met, she was certain he must have seen something on her face. Even if it was only for a second she saw some kind of emotion flicker over his face. Was it… regret?

Before she could analyze it anymore the emotion disappeared from his face and he looked as emotionless as ever when he spoke up to the squad.

„That’s enough for today. We’ll continue tomorrow.“

Eren and the others gave the captain confused looks but did as they were told without complaint. So they made their way back to the old headquarters. Just when they were in the stables, tending to their horses the double door opened.

„Eren!“ 

She turned to see Jean, quickly making his way over to her. Pulling her into an embrace as soon as he reached her.

„Eren, where have you been? We’ve been searching for you.“

Eren sighed in what could only be described as fond exasperation. „With ‚we‘ you probably mean you and Mikasa? I told you, you shouldn’t listen to her when she worries like that, she’s totally exaggerating. I’m fine, we just came back from training.“

Eren’s voice was slightly muffled since her face was still pressed to Jean’s chest. 

„Oh… Sorry. I didn’t mean to go crazy on you like that for no reason. You know it’s just sine Marco death… I’m…“

Eren cursed internally. She could feel the curious stares of her new squadmates on them. There was no way she could have this conversation with Jean in front of an audience.

„Sorry Jean but can you wait a few moments? That's not exactly the place to talk about this.“

Jean loosened his grip on her looking around him in wonder as if only now realizing that there were other people around them.

„Well, then let’s just go somewhere else. You are done here anyway, aren’t you?“

„Um… maybe? I’m not allowed to just go, though. I need to ask for permission first.“

Eren nervously turned around. As she expected all of them were looking at her. Eld and Gunther seemed genuinely curious while Petra seemed confused for some reason and Oluo just scoffed at her, as per usual. It was Levi’s gaze that made her freeze on the spot though. 

He gave them a bone-chilling glare. In fact, he looked like he would storm over every moment and kill them both with his bare hands. Eren shivered slightly. Maybe he didn’t like public displays of affection? Even so, that reaction seemed a little exaggerated. On the other hand so was his reaction to dirt or dust…

Jean seemed to be still somewhat oblivious to the murderous gaze directed at them. „Ask for permission? What are you, the survey corps personal pet? Just tell them you’re going now. I mean what do they want to do about it? Keeping you in a cell if you didn’t obey like a proper little pet?“

Eren kicked him in the shin quite harshly, making hiss in pain. „Shut up, you idiot! Why do you always have to open your big mouth and make things worse than they already are?“

It was then that Jean finally took a closer look at the people surrounding them, his gaze narrowing on the captain who’s glare had darkened even more as he had zeroed in on Jean. Jean stepped around Eren, standing between her and captain Levi now. 

„So Eren’s not allowed to spend time with her friends? Who gave you the right to decide what she is or isn’t allowed to do in her free time?“

The captain straightened as well, even so, he was still significantly shorter than Jean. His intimidating expression and posture made him tower over the teen in other ways though. Any sane person would have run for their life. Apparently Jean was not entirely sane though as he stood his ground, effectively blocking Eren’s line of view. On the other hand, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to see the expression on Levi’s face.

„Tch, I never said anything like that. I don’t really care what Eren does in her free time, as long as she is back by curfew and doesn’t transform into a fucking titan.“

Eren flinched at that. Somehow that hurt a bit. Didn’t they trust her at all, after they got to know her for the last few days? Jean noticed and glared at the captain again. He grumbled under his breath, before quickly taking Eren’s wrist and dragging her away. 

She took a cautious look over her shoulder. The squad looked between her and Jean and the captain in perplexity, while the captain's glare was focused on their now intertwined hands. She awkwardly waved over her shoulder as a miserable attempt at a normal parting.

Honestly, she couldn’t understand why Jean had reacted so extremely. Nor did she understand the captain's reaction for that matter but that was nothing new as she barely ever understood the captain. 

„Why did you do that Jean? Why are you so angry?“

Jean looked at her incredulously. „You’re asking me _why_? Seriously, Eren? You’ve gotta’ be kidding me.“

Eren looked at him with confusion though. And also a little annoyance. How the hell should she know, what he might be thinking with that horse brain of his?

Jean obviously realized that she had no idea what he was talking about and sighed in frustration. „Look, I just don’t like the way they’re treading you, especially _that captain_. You’re _not_ their property.“

„Of fucking course, I’m not! And you’ve no idea what they’re treating me like. They’re fine and if they weren’t I would stand up for myself. You should know that better than anyone else. And what does the captain have to do with that? He was probably just angry because you disrespected him. And I told you not to let Mikasa’s renting get to you. She’s way too overprotective.“

Jean threw his hands up in apparent frustration. „Yeah, but I also know better than anyone else how much he hurt you back then. Or did you forget?“

Eren glared up at him. „No, I did _not_ forget, thank you very much.“ Jean winced at the pained expression on Eren’s face.

„I’m sorry. Come here.“ He held his arms open for her in invitation. Before she accepted it though she kicked him in the shin -again- even harder this time, before accepting his embrace and burying her face in his chest.

„ _Ow!_ Damn, I guess I deserved that but you didn’t need to kick quite that hard, you know.“ He willingly wrapped his arms around her small frame and softly kissed the top of her head. 

They stayed like that for quite a while and Eren relaxed into his familiar warmth. It was very different from the embrace she had received the night before. Levi was much shorter than Jean (though still taller than her), but his muscles were far more pronounced than Jean’s as she could feel his steel hard abs even through his shirt. But somehow it had still felt comfortable as if she fit perfectly into his arms. That thought made her stop in her thoughts abruptly. 

_What the hell was she thinking about?_

Eren quickly shook those strange thoughts off. They were ridiculous anyway. She was right where she belonged, in Jean’s arms. That’s how it was supposed to be.

But why did it feel like she did something wrong? Why was it that no matter what she did, she didn’t feel quite as comfortable as she did the night before? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you so much for reading, leaving comments and Kudos! ^^  
> I really appreciate it as well as any feedback.  
> See you next chapter. :)


	7. A little captain's irritation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow everyone seemed to insist that he had a thing for the brat and Levi was fairly annoyed by it now. Of course, it didn't quite help that he was constantly around Eren. He honestly didn't know who was more irritating his so-called friends or that horsefaced brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guuuuuys! ^^
> 
> Ah... I'm a bit late again but therefore it's longer too.  
> I hope you enjoy! :D

„You’re jealous Levi! I can’t believe it!“

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation. What did he do deserve something like _this_? He expected to sit through just one more of their boring meetings but this was at least ten times worse. Mike couldn’t make it to the meeting, which meant he was caged in a stuffy little room with Hanji and Commander Eyebrows. 

As if Erwin’s stupid knowing looks wouldn’t have been enough, Hanji seemed to have caught wind of the whole stupid thing and was pestering relentlessly ever since. It really took all the self-control he possessed not to strangle them right then and there. 

„Shut up, you four-eyed freak. Apparently, your brain is finally out of function. I thought it’d be much sooner.“

„Pfft… are you trying to distract me from the subject by insulting me, Levi? In that case, you’re out of luck ’cause I’ll not let this go so easily. Come on Levi, you being interested in anyone is a wonder in and of itself. But for you to be _romantically_ interested in-…“

„What the fuck are you talking about, shitty glasses? I’m not interested in anyone, let alone _romantically_. Why would you even think that?“

Hanji exchanged a glance with Erwin. Fan-fucking-tastic now they gave him that same knowing look as well, except that it was even worse on them as they also held that maniacal glint in their eyes. 

„Awww… No need to be shy and try to deny it. I saw the way you look at her. Oh and Petra told me exactly what happened yesterday.“

_Damn it Petra._ That woman was such a gossip. And why did they all have to be so fucking nosy? He could admit that maybe the scene in the stables was a bit curious. In hindsight he shouldn’t have lost his calm like that, there really was no reason to. Maybe he did feel irrationally angry when that horse faced brat touched Eren like that. But that didn’t mean he _liked_ the brat. He might hold a strange kind of fondness for her for some reason but that wasn’t anything unusual, right? Well, maybe it was for him. But those shitty „friends“ of his were just interpreting too much into it. He was allowed to like people, wasn’t he? Perfectly platonic that is… 

And why did that thought irritate him just that much more?

„Ha! You’re not even denying it anymore! That means I’m right! _Bullseye_!“ Hanji’s exclamation quickly brought him back to reality. He threw his hands in the air in frustration, even though he made sure that there was no visible change in his expression since Hanji would eat that right up and use it against him.

„Tch, as if. I’ve just given up to try and argue with you anymore. Besides if you really must know, I was just weary to have her out of my sight since she could still transform every second.“ 

Hanji frowned at him for a moment but quickly shoved his concerns aside and resumed their creepy grin. 

„Oh no no no Levi. Don’t even try to talk yourself out of it like that. I know what I saw and heard. You agree with me, don’t you Erwin?“

They both turned to look at their commander, who had followed their back and forth with an amused expression. Now he cleared his throat and looked at Levi with a seemingly apologetic look even if he couldn’t seem to help the smirk on his face which easily gave him away.

„Well Levi, I can’t help but think that Hanji’s onto something there. As unbelievable as I’d find it to believe that someone actually caught your interest for once, I must agree with them. From the beginning, there seemed to be some kind of gravitational pull between the two of you. I must say, I find it interesting that it is her of all people. But as long as it doesn’t affect your performances on the field, I don’t mind. In fact, I think it might even be good for you.“

Hanji cheered in agreement while Levi groaned in frustration, irritably running his hands through his jet black hair.

Why were they all so dead set on pairing Levi off with that brat? There would be other, much more reasonable choices, ones which were closer to his own age, not his direct subordinate and most of all not one wrong step away from being killed, by Levi himself to boot. And he didn’t even know her for more than a few days. Besides there was the fact that maybe -probably- Eren was with that Horseface already. 

Alright maybe he could admit that that thought irritated him a bit. Okay, a lot. Maybe, _just maybe_ , he could admit there was _something_ between him and the girl. But sure as shit not out loud. Not even to his so-called friends. He just _couldn’t_. 

Levi didn’t need to say anything else though. Apparently, Erwin has had enough for now and was ready to go on with their actual meeting. _Fucking finally_.

„Aside from that, I would like to hear how things are coming along. Hanji, I assume you prepared for the experiments with Eren?“

Hanji gave a much too enthusiastic affirmation, as per usual. Before they could dive into any details though Erwin cut them off, making the scientist pout. 

„And Levi, I assume you came up with an alternative by now?“

Even if Erwin’s question was rather vague, Levi immediately knew what he was talking about.

„Yeah. It’s quite simple actually. But like that, I wouldn’t have to kill her.“

„Ooh… So you want her to stay alive, eh?“ Hanji was wiggling their eyebrows at him and Levi waked her over the head before directing his attention to Erwin again. 

„The squad adjusted to her just fine, so we should be able to start with those experiments by tomorrow.“

Erwin gave an approving nod while Hanji was bursting with excitement once again. „Alright then. If that's all then please go and prepare for tomorrow. You’re dismissed.“

An hour later Levi had gathered his squad in a room that resembled a classroom. He explained to them the method he thought of, so they wouldn’t have to kill the brat in case she lost control. Eren flinched a bit at the mention of severing her arms and legs. 

„Wait a minute. I don’t know how they grow back or anything. Isn’t there any other way…?“

_It’s not like I’d have much fun cutting of your limps brat… I don’t want to hurt you!_

„So you want there to be no danger and no cost whatsoever?“

Eren’s eyes widened at his words. „N-no! That's not it!“

He knew his words were quite harsh. But he was always blunt like that. And he felt that this was exactly what the soldiers needed too. There was no use in sugarcoating the harsh reality only to receive a harsh reminder how cruel the world really was. It was probably stupid but for some reason, he felt that Eren could understand that. That maybe she thought similarly to him in that regard. 

„Well, then prepare yourself. We’re in the same boat. There’s a risk that you’ll kill us. So rest at ease.“

Eren gave a small nod in response. „Right. I understand.“ And Levi thought that she might actually do.

The next day they did not train a lot but instead prepared everything for the impending experiment. They set out to a relatively short ride through the forest to reach a plateau with a small well. 

At the moment Levi stood in front of it with Eren who looked slightly anxious and a bit uncertain. She was fidgeting with the ladder, apparently unable to unroll it. With a sigh Levi took it from her shaking hands and easily unfolded it, letting its end fall to the ground of the well.

Eren made a move to climb down but Levi caught her wrist in his hand, making her look at him for the first time that day. He could see the fear in her big doe eyes and somehow felt the need to reassure her.

„It’s fine Eren. You’re not going to lose control that easily. I don’t usually say shit like that but since you’re so damn anxious… I think you’re a tough little shit and that’s why you won’t give up control easily. And despite what I said yesterday, even if you would lose control, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m sure I can manage to get you out of there before anything happens.“

Eren looked at him in wonderment before her eyebrows drew together in a frown. „That's not what I’m worried about. I just…“ She bit her lip, apparently contemplating if she should share her fears with him. And honestly, he felt a little bit offended that she even had to think about it after his generous statement. But apparently, she willed herself to continue.

„I just don’t want to lose control. I don’t want to hurt anyone.“

„Tch, you won’t. Did you forget that it’s my job to care about that? I won’t let you hurt anyone. As long as I am here nobody’s gonna get hurt neither you nor any of the others. Got that?“

Eren blinked a few times but then a small but genuine smile formed on her lips. Her voice was rather soft too. „Thank you, captain. I really appreciate it.“

Levi found himself staring at her for quite a while. The soft curl of her lips and the sparkle in her eyes (which already were stupidly bright as it was). So maybe Levi had been staring for a bit too long, cause he could sense that it was getting awkward as he felt people staring at them. 

It probably didn’t help that he still held her wrist.

He quickly turned his gaze away and let go of her. „Just go down there already, so we can get this shit over with.“

„Yes, sir!“ She saluted him firmly, before climbing down the ladder.

Just then Hanji ran up to them. They didn’t seem to know what had happened between them because otherwise, Levi was sure they would’ve made some kinda comment. Maybe they were too busy preparing the experiment. As it was, they were practically bursting with excitement. _That freak_. 

„Ready to start, Eren?“

Eren gave an affirmative from the ground of the well and Hanji went on explaining everything. Again. 

Levi could only sigh in exasperation. 

„Once we’re ready, we’ll fire a smoke signal. What you do after that is up to you.“

„Understood!“

Hanji turned back to walk to their horses. Levi followed suit, after giving Eren one last encouraging nod. At least he hoped it was.

When Hanji gave the signal everyone waited with baited breaths. 

And waited.

And nothing happened.

„I wonder if she didn’t see the signal?“

„No. We weren’t even particularly certain of this in the first place.“

They made their way back to the well, jumping down from their horses.

„Oi, Eren! The experiment’s on hold.“

Hanji stepped closer to the edge of the well, leaning forward with a slightly confused expression. „Is something wro-…“ They quickly cut themself of, slapping a hand over their mouth. 

Slightly concerned by the scientist’s reaction Levi leaned over the edge as well. Every comment he might have had died on his lips as he caught sight of Eren. It really was a rather horrifying sight. Eren sat on the ground of the well, eyes wide, deep bite wounds all over her hands while there was still blood trickling down her chin. 

„I… can’t… turn into a Titan.“

They looked at her in shock for a few moments before Hanji snapped out of it and ran off to make adjustments to their plans with the others. Levi, on the other hand, was still looking down.

„Can you come up here by yourself?“

It seemed to take a few moments until his question finally registered in her brain. „Oh. Um… yeah. Probably.“

When Eren reached for the ladder though, she flinched away in pain. Levi gave a heavy sigh, shooing her away from the ladder and climbing down himself.

„I guess it can’t be helped. Come on then.“

„… Excuse me, captain. But what exactly is it you want me to do?“

Levi rolled his eyes. „You’re supposed to climb on my back so I can carry you up there. Obviously. With hands like these, you can’t climb a damn ladder. You might even get an infection or something. Disgusting.“

At that Eren suddenly flushed a bright red, waving her hands in front of her. „N-no! That's not necessary. I can manage on my own. Really, it’s fine.“

Normally her insistence would have annoyed him but the sight was just too amusing and somehow strangely endearing. 

However, he was having none of it. Ignoring her protests he turned his back to her bending down slightly. Before she knew what happened Levi reached behind himself, grabbing the back of her thighs. 

Eren squealed in surprise but had no other choice but to wind her arms around him, so she wouldn’t fall down. 

„Just don’t get any blood on me, brat.“

„O-of course not! But that really isn’t-…“

„Yes, it is fucking necessary, so shut up.“ With that Levi slowly stood up. 

Suddenly he realized how light Eren was. Sure, with her stature he didn’t think she’d be heavy but to him, she was as light as a feather. He also noticed that she hesitated to properly wrap her legs around him. So he did the sensible thing and pulled her legs tighter around his torso. 

„What are you trying to do, brat? Do you want to fall off so badly? You better hold on tight, cause otherwise, I won’t come back to pick you up again.“

Eren gave an embarrassed chuckle and held a bit tighter onto him. Satisfied, he started to climb up. Somehow he didn’t really mind the close proximity. In fact, he didn't mind it at all.

As soon as he climbed over the edge Eren scrambled to get off him. Thanking him politely with a bright red face, before quickly walking over to Hanji and the rest of the squad.

Her reaction was just as amusing as before. And yet he watched her retreating figure with a slight frown. It might just be the embarrassment but she fled awfully quickly. It wasn’t the first time either. Whenever they were in close proximity she seemed to flee as quickly as possible. He kind of noticed from the beginning. And it was bugging him ever since. He just didn’t understand _why_. She didn’t seem to be scared of him or anything. So what was her problem?

However he had other things to worry about at the moment, he reminded himself as he walked over to where the others were sitting. 

If Eren couldn’t transform into a titan it would have some serious consequences. Not only would it put a huge dent in their plan of sealing wall Maria -and probably Erwin’s plan too- but it would also put Eren herself in danger too. The deal Erwin had made with Zackley was clear. Whether Eren should live or die was to be judged by the results of the upcoming expedition. And when they found out she wasn’t any use to the survey corps they would most likely execute her or worse give her to the military police to do however they pleased and dispose of afterward. He couldn’t help but grit his teeth at the thought. He could not let Eren fall into the hands of those pigs.

Maybe she needed a little push to motivate her. If only they could trigger her transformation somehow. Surely Hanji would find a way how to control her powers.

When he moved closer Petra handed him a mug of tea. It wasn’t exactly up to his standards but that wasn’t entirely possible out here so he just took it as it was and stepped closer to Eren.

„The wounds you got from biting yourself aren’t healing?“

Eren was wringing her hands nervously. Apparently, someone had thought to bandage them, probably Hanji. 

„No. They aren’t healing, sir.“

„If you can’t turn into a Titan, sealing wall Maria and all is nothing but a dream. This is an order. Do something about it.“

„Yes, sir…“ He barely heard her nearly whispered answer though as he turned to walk away.

Levi heard that the other members of the squad tried cheering her up or maybe they were genuinely relieved she couldn’t transform just like that. At the same time, Petra walked up to him with a concerned look on her face.

„Captain, you didn’t need to be quite that harsh on her, you know.“

„There is no need to sugarcoat it. She needs to do whatever she can or it will end badly for all of us, her especially.“

Suddenly there was a soft smile on Petra’s face. „You actually care a lot about her, don’t you? Yesterday I talked to squad leader Hanji they said something… curious. Even more so than usual. I didn’t believe it at first but now I think-…“

He would never get to know what Petra thought though. At that exact moment there was a huge explosion and quite a lot of steam. Levi quickly rushed forward, trying to understand the situation as quickly as possible. 

As soon as the steam lifted a bit, he was met by the sight of Eren attached to a gigantic half-formed titan arm. It was clear as day to him that Eren didn’t know anymore what happened than he did. She looked shocked, confused and utterly terrified. 

Before he could say anything to her though he saw his squad closing in on them. Weapons drawn, expressions grim. 

„Calm down.“

He heard Eren call out to him and then a surprised gasp as she realized what was happening. He kept his back to her though. Despite the appearances, she was not the threat at the moment. 

„I’m telling you to calm down. All of you.“

None of them was listening to him. Nobody kept calm in the slightest. They started shouting at Eren, even when he told them to stop it.

When did they start to disobey his orders? 

Yes, he could understand their reactions. It was only natural, that was what they were trained for. And yet it irritated him. To him, it was fairly obvious that Eren didn’t transform on purpose. Actually she seemed to be just as shocked as everyone else, maybe even more so.

They didn’t even give her time to answer, just bombarding her with questions and demands relentlessly. That was until Eren finally snapped and told them all to shut up. 

Levi was actually quite impressed, at least she’d managed to shock the others into silence for a moment. Luckily Hanji arrived at that exact moment, their crazy behavior effectively distracting everyone. He honestly wasn’t sure what would have happened if they didn’t show up just then and begrudgingly he had to admit he was a bit thankful.

Eren used the opportunity to pull her arm free, effectively cutting off the connection to the Titan's arm. The momentum from pulling her hand free, threw her right to the ground, practically to Levi’s feet. She was panting harshly. When he stepped next to her she looked up at him with slightly bleary eyes. 

„Captain…“

„How do you feel?“

„Not… too good.“

He looked at her for a moment before turning around to his squad to give them orders to collect everything and return to the castle. When everyone else was on their way he walked over to Eren, who was still kneeling on the ground. Without another word, he offered her a hand pulling her up carefully. She swayed a bit on her feet so he supported her as they walked over to their horses. 

„Will that be alright?“

„Yeah. Thank you.“ Her voice sounded almost monotone. But he let it slide instead he helped her onto her horse and made sure she sat securely in her settle before he moved to mount his own horse.

The ride back was slow and silent. Levi didn’t mind it all that much, except for the gloomy aura coming off of Eren.

When they finally arrived at the castle it was nearly dark outside and the others were already gathered in the mess hall. Instead of joining them, Levi decided to take Eren back to her cell, so they could talk in private. 

To his immense surprise, Eren spilled as soon as they were alone. Maybe she had wanted to talk to him the whole time but just couldn’t find the nerve to do so. Or maybe she wanted to get it off her chest. Whatever it was Levi listened intently and gave her concerns some thought before answering. 

„I didn’t notice until they really turned on me. To think they had so little faith in me…“

„Obviously. I picked them because they’re such people. It’s popular opinion within the survey cops that you’re not one of us until after a mission. When confronting Titans you’ll always lack intel. There are far too many situations where you can’t make sense out of anything. So quick action and extraordinary determination are emphasized instead. Even so, it’s not as if they lack blood and tears. I doubt they felt nothing when they turned their blades on you.“

And that was true. Even though he was still a bit angry at them for their inability to read the situation properly, he knew they didn’t really want to turn against Eren. But they did what they thought they had to do. What they thought was their duty.

At that moment Moblit, Hanji’s assistant came downstairs telling them that Hanji had requested his presence. 

They walked upstairs and followed Moblit inside the mass hale. 

As soon as they arrived there Hanji launched into her explanation. How Eren needed a clear objective to transform and that the accidental transformation happened because of that little teaspoon. 

Eren seemed to be completely baffled at the explanation. Well, it did seem kind of ridiculous to half transform into a Titan only to pick up a spoon. But at least the explanation did make sense and would surely help them in the future. 

Finally, his squad seemed to realize their mistake and they apologized, in their own way. Normally he probably would’ve raised an eyebrow at the weirdness of it all, but Eren appreciated the gesture and that was what counted in the end.

They all kept talking there for a while until he noticed that Eren had fallen asleep in her chair with her head nestled in her arms on the table. She was probably really exhausted from the transformation and all that stress. He silently debated whether it would be weird if he picked her up and carried her to bed or if he should just wake her up.

Just at that moment the door opened and some of the 104th stormed in, Eren’s friends he realized. To his great annoyance, the Horseface was with them too. 

„Eren!“

The girl with the black hair and red scarf rushed forward with blonde coconut and Horseface right on her heels. Before they reached Eren though Hanji stepped in their way and held a finger to their lips. She quietly explained to them why Eren was so exhausted and asked them to not bother her that evening. 

„That’s alright. Then I’m going to carry her to bed. She shouldn’t be sleeping here.“

_Tch. Of course that Horseface again._

Hanji seemed uncertain what to do and gave a nervous glance at Levi. He had crossed his arms, now standing right next to Hanji and in front of the still asleep Eren.

„That won’t be necessary. I’ll just wake her up and bring her to her room.“

The teen quickly turned his attention to Levi, a heavy scowl on his face now. „It’s no problem. If she’s that exhausted you don’t need to wake her up. Just tell me where her room is.“

Levi gave a deadpan expression. „In the basement.“

The boy looked at him for a few moments probably waiting for him to announce that it was some kind of joke. When no such announcement was made the boy’s expression turned livid.

„You’re keeping her _in a cell_?! You can’t do that! She didn’t do anything wrong. That’s not-…“ 

Levi cut the boy short as he grabbed him by the collar. „Listen here, you little brat. If you keep shouting around you’ll not only wake Eren but the whole damn castle. These were the terms under which we were allowed to take Eren into our custody. If you want to complain, then tell it Darius Zackley. Otherwise, I suggest you go back to your own room or I’ll kick your bratty, little ass.“

The boy looked as if he might shit his pants but he still forced himself to object. 

„But Eren-…“

„If I was you I’d quickly be on my way. I don’t think you’d take quite as good to a beating as Eren did.“

The boy was nearly exploding from anger it was clearly visible on his face. Before he could say anymore though the blonde coconut and some of their other friends came up to drag him and the raven-haired girl who was equally as angry out of the room. The little blonde quickly apologized for their friend's behavior and quickly ran after her friends.

There was a moment of silence before suddenly Hanji broke out into a fit of laughter. „Oh dear, Levi! I never saw you make a scene like that before. That was hilarious.“

„Tch, shut up, Shitty Glasses. And everyone, I think it’s really time to go to bed already. I don’t want to see any of you slack off tomorrow.“

With that threat in mind, they quickly followed his suggestion and wished them a good night. Finally, it was only Levi, Hanji and Eren in the room. 

„Sooo… and what are you going to do about Eren now?“

„I guess I’ll have to carry her then.“

Hanji raised an eyebrow in amusement. „Right. And that’s _such_ a burden for you, isn’t it?“ 

„I told you to shut up already, you freak. It’s annoying and you’re loud.“

Hanji made a motion as if to zip her mouth but not without giving a big grin and waving him goodnight. Levi just rolled his eyes as he carefully picked up Eren’s petite form. Despite all the earlier noise and the movement, she didn’t even stir in his arms. If anything she seemed rather content as she unconsciously nuzzled her face in the crock of his neck. He held her bridal style and quite honestly he preferred that. Like that he could see her face. 

Finally in her cell, he carefully placed her on the bed. Well, he couldn’t really let her sleep in her boots, now could he? So he pulled them off her feet and even removed her jacket. But that was as far as he would go, anything else would definitely require permission. He was really lucky she wasn’t wearing her harness anymore because that sure as hell would have been quite uncomfortable to sleep in. 

With his task fulfilled he rightened himself and was about to step out of the room when he noticed that one strand of hair fell into her eyes. For some reason, he felt the strange urge to brush it away. Without thinking further about it he gave into the urge, tenderly brushing the hair behind her ear. 

From that close proximity, he noticed how long her lashes were. His gaze fell to her lips then, which were slightly parted. And suddenly he felt a new urge. one that quickly took over his mind. Before he could do any more stupid things though he quickly pulled away and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Well, maybe Hanji and Erwin were not so far off after all. He couldn’t deny that there was something about Eren that made him feel…strange. Whatever that something was, it fucking terrified him. He also knew that nothing good would come out of it. After all, there were no such things as „happy ends“ in their world. 

But he also knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to resist for long. In other words, he was absolutely fucked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... To be honest, I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter.  
> If been a bit tired the last week and I'm afraid it shows in this chapter... :/  
> I apologize if there are more mistakes than usual.  
> Nevertheless, I tried my best and I hope you still liked it.  
> And as always I'm happy about any feedback, comments, and kudos. They light up my days. :)


	8. A little girl's apprehension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's got a day off to recover from the experiment. She didn't expect to spend it with captain Levi though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :D
> 
> So here is an early update for you but yeah it's a bit shorter this time.  
> I'm sorry it's always either short or late... xD  
> Still, I hope you like it. :)

Eren closed her eyes and concentrated on her own breathing. She wasn’t exactly _afraid_ of needles, she just didn’t really like them, which shouldn’t be surprising. After all, it was how she got injected with the serum that made her into what she was now. 

_A monster_. 

Of course, not all people saw it like that, mostly just those nobles in Sina and the Military Police. No, a lot of the common people actually saw her as „Humanities last Hope“. But that wasn’t true in her eyes. How could she possibly become everyone’s last hope when she had no idea what she was doing? She didn’t know how to control her powers, let alone the body of a fifteen-meter tall Titan. 

Her memories from that time were rather vague but she did remember her father’s words clearly. It was up to her to use these powers he had given her. Grisha had probably intended for her to become some kind of savior, to save humanity from the Titans and the bleak fate that awaited them should the walls fall. 

But… _how_? 

How was she supposed to do all that when she had no more knowledge of these powers than any of her comrades and friends? It seemed like an impossible task.

And maybe she really was a monster. Honestly, she probably would’ve called herself a monster a few weeks ago. Eren hated the Titan’s more than anything. Even now that she herself could transform into one. She hated them even more for it, she didn’t want to be a mindless monster like them. It wasn’t like she _asked_ for it. And yet there was nothing that could be done about it. Such was her fate and she had no choice but to accept it. The alternative was to just give up. But that was something she would _never_ do. Eren would fight till the moment the last breath left her body but no sooner than that would she ever give up.

Eren nearly yelped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

„Oi brat, what’s with that dark look on your face? You look like you’re either about to kill someone or burst into tears.“

The brunette avoided her captain’s imploring gaze, not knowing how to answer his question. She didn’t really want to talk about it. Not even with Mikasa or Armin if she was being honest. It felt like something that no one could really relate to or even understand. And how could they? It was not like anyone else had ever been in a situation like hers.

„Or do you need to take a shit or something?“

Eren could immediately feel her cheeks flush with embarrassment. 

„N-no! That’s not it at all. I was just in deep thought. I’m sorry, sir!“

When Eren finally dared to take a peak, she was astounded to see the captain smirking at her. „Relax Eren. I was just joking.“

_„Joking? You?“_

Oh no… She did not just say that out loud, _did she_? Damn. Blurting out something insulting to Captain Levi like that, she had no doubt in her mind that he would kick her ass for that or at least make her clean the stables or something.

Levi raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. „Tch. My jokes are hilarious, brat. It’s not my fault you’re too dense to understand them.“

Eren looked at him incredulously. „What? I’m not that dense. It’s not my fault, nobody would get your sense of humor.“ In the end, she pouted slightly. Of course, she knew she was being childish but he didn’t really have to insult her at any given time, did he?

„Whatever. At least you don’t look like you’re about to kill someone anymore. That’s a start.“

Oh.

Did he try to distract her from her dark thoughts? Was this his strange way to try and cheer her up? It seemed unlikely but what he said just now sounded pretty much like it. Maybe he wasn’t good at expressing himself and that’s why he always insulted people, being a tad too blunt and harsh at times. Was it possible that had also been the case when they met for the first time two years ago? 

„Well, you’re all done now Eren. As far as I can tell, you should be fine.“

Eren flinched slightly upon hearing Hanji’s voice. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she nearly forgot that the scientist was present in the first place.

Now that she thought about it Hanji had been suspiciously quiet the whole time. Even though she didn’t know them for such a long time she was positive that they were a rather talkative and…excitable person. It definitely seemed odd that they would keep silent for any longer amount of time.

„Are you sure, Shitty Glasses? I can’t have her fainting in the middle of training or something.“

When Eren looked up she caught a rather strange exchange of gazes between them. Hanji was grinning like a maniac while Levi frowned so hard that he looked like he was about to strangle them. 

„Awww… isn’t it adorable how concerned he is for you Eren? He’s-…“ Before they could finish their sentence, one of their books was thrown right in their face. „Umpf… That’s not very nice Levi. I get that you’re embarrassed but don’t take it out on me.“

Levi just gave them a glare before he swiftly grabbed Eren’s wrist and quickly dragged her out of the room. „Clean this room shit for glasses. You can’t examine people in that pigsty.“

Eren had just enough time to thank the squad leader and say her goodbye before she was dragged along the hallway.

And suddenly she couldn’t hold herself back any longer and burst into laughter. The captain stopped in his tracks. When he turned to her there was the slightest hint of confusion on his face. He was obviously wondering why she suddenly started laughing in the middle of an empty hallway. Somehow it only increased her giggles. Maybe she was starting to learn how to read the captain’s expressions and emotions. But the thought that the captain practically needed his own translator was hilarious to her. If she was quite honest, she didn’t even know why exactly she was laughing so hard for apparently no reason whatsoever.

„So. Is there any particular reason you’re acting like a complete idiot out of nowhere?“

Eren tried to speak between gasps of laughter but it really took her some time until she was able to form words that were actually understandable. „I’m… I’m sorry, sir. It’s just… those interactions between you and the squad leader were quite hilarious. You’re actually really good friends, aren’t you?“

„Tch, I have no idea what you’re talking about. They’re annoying as hell and just as messy.“

Eren couldn’t help but chuckle some more at that. „I see. Anyway… thank you, captain. I really needed that.“

At that Levi quickly turned around and rushed her to the mess hall. For some reason, he seemed a bit…flustered? Strange. Eren also noticed (rather belatedly) that he had yet to let go of her wrist, still tugging her forward as if she was a toddler. She decided to let it go, though. He probably just wanted to make sure that she didn’t slow down or something.

Arriving in the mess hall they found it rather empty. Most soldiers had already eaten their lunch, as they were running a bit late.

Eren had been quite shocked when captain Levi had roused her from sleep just before noon. She was flabbergasted when she realized what time it was and that she had missed the entire morning training.

Levi had then informed her that they gave her the day off to recover from the experiment the previous day and that she had obviously needed it seeing as she had slept that long. At noon he had brought her to Hanji’s lab though to get her condition checked and to make sure, she would be fit the next day. 

Even so, she was quite dizzy and confused in the beginning. Especially because she couldn’t remember how she had even gotten to bed the night before. She didn’t dare to ask though. After all, she probably had just forgotten, because she was that tired or something. And she didn’t really want to embarrass herself.

When they reached the serving for lunch the captain finally let go of her, so they could pick up their plates and food. Eren realized she didn’t mind the contact as much as she initially thought. Sure, it was a bit awkward but somehow quite comfortable too. What a weird thought.

Sitting next to the captain -alone- with barely any people around was weird too. But whatever, it couldn’t be helped anyway. 

While they ate, one of the soldiers wearing a kitchen apron approached them. For some reason, he seemed extremely nervous like he was walking right into a lion’s den or something. 

„Captain Levi, sir! I’m really sorry to disturb you but there’s been an accident in the kitchens and as it is we lost some of our most important supplies. Like that we won’t be able to cook anything decent for dinner. May we go to the markets to replace everything we need?“

„What, so you all can skip on training and mess up again? No, I don’t think so. I’ll go myself.“

The other soldier seemed completely baffled for a moment. „Eh? Really? But it’s quite a lot. Will you be alright by yourself?“

Suddenly Levi started to smirk and Eren had a bad feeling about it. „That’s alright. This brat here can accompany me.“ He turned to face Eren placing a condescending hand on her shoulder. „I’m sure you don’t mind, right Eren? Since we already gave you the day off you might as well make yourself useful.“

Eren sighed in defeat but could only nod in agreement. It wasn’t like she could actually refuse. But maybe it would be a nice change of pace. After all, she hadn’t been to the markets in quite some time. 

Levi told the soldier to write them a list, who happily obliged, obviously relieved that he didn’t get reprimanded or punished. So when they had finished their lunch they quickly gathered everything they needed for the supply-run and readied their horses, quickly starting their little journey to town. And they really had to hurry a bit, if they wanted to back before dawn.

„Oi Eren, put up your hood when we’re in town. I don’t think anyone will give us trouble but I don’t want you to get caught up in idle talk with the people there. We don’t have time for that shit.“

„Yes, sir!“

Eren dutifully pulled her hood up as soon as they got closer to town. When they arrived at the markets, they jumped down from their horses, leaving them with the others. Eren was already on her way off to explore the busy market streets when she was pulled back by the back of her cloak, giving a surprised gasp.

„Where do you think you’re going, brat? We didn’t come here for our own amusement, you know.“

Eren grumbled an apology and reluctantly followed the captains lead. She couldn’t help but pout slightly though, it was a rare opportunity after all. Levi rolled his eyes a bit at her.

„What did you want anyway? There aren’t so many interesting things here, besides the necessities.“

Eren turned to him as they walked along the food stalls, trying to find some decent fruits and vegetables. „Well, there is this one book Armin wanted to have since forever and Mikasa said she needed a new pair of shoes beside her uniform boots.“

Levi stopped to give her a slightly surprised look (at least she thought it was). „So you only want to buy stuff for your friends? Well fuck it, just go already.“

„Really?“ She looked up at the captain with wide eyes and an even wider smile.

Levi had crossed his arms in apparent annoyance, before making a shooing motion at her. Even so, she could see the corners of his mouth twitch, threatening to stretch into a smile. „Yes. But hurry the fuck up brat before I take it back.“ 

She quickly thanked the captain before she hurriedly walked over to the next bookstore, an elated smile on her lips the whole time.

In the end, she didn’t manage to find the exact same book Armin had told her about but she found one that seemed to be similar and she figured that would be good enough. She also found a simple but nice pair of shoes for Mikasa and hoped she would like them. The best one was the one for Jean though. A nice red apple and a horse blanket. She chuckled slightly at the thought what kind of face Jean would make when she gave it to him. He would probably be angry but it was worth it because she knew it’d be hilarious and they could probably use the blanket as a normal one to cuddle together when it gets colder.

Aside from that she also bought some cookies for the captain as a thank-you gift. Even if he didn’t like to openly show it, he really had been rather kind to her the last days. And even though it didn’t erase the past he was probably trying his best and she appreciated that.

She found him, where they’d left their horses and hurried back to him. 

„About time you showed up, brat. I thought you got lost or something.“ Eren brushed his concerns aside and instead offered him the cookies. „What’s that? Cookies? What am I supposed to do with those?“

He looked at her quizzically and Eren shook her head, laughing. „They are for you captain. As a thank-you gift!“ She gave him a bright and dazzling smile while he just frowned at her.

„That’s not necessary Eren. Also, I don’t really like overly sweet things.“

„Oh. I see. Um… I’m sorry then.“ Eren was actually a bit disappointed. She had really wanted to thank the captain but of course, she had chosen the wrong thing.

She reached out to take the cookies back from him when he suddenly pulled them out of her reach. „Oi, don’t just take them back when you just gave them to me. I didn’t say I wouldn’t eat them. Now that you’ve already bought them we can’t let them go to waste.“

He took one out of the paperback and took a bite. He seemed not exactly delighted but not disgusted either. „Well, they’re not as bad as I thought they’d be.“

Eren looked at him with a slightly raised brow. „Aren’t you saying that just so I feel better? They’re probably awful anyway. You don’t have to eat them we can just give them to some of the other who- Mmpf-…“ Before Eren could finish her sentence Levi shoved one of the cookies in her mouth, effectively cutting her sentence short.

„I told you they aren’t so bad and that I’ll eat them so shut up and let’s head back before it get’s dark.“

Eren did as she was told but with a slight smile on her face. 

So maybe the captain was a little rough around the edges but somehow she thought that he was actually a quite caring person, maybe even kind. The more time she spent with him, the better she understood him.

Speaking of which, she realized that she had actually spent quite a lot time with him in the past few days. Actually more than with anybody else, even Jean, Mikasa and Armin. How strange. She had no idea how that had happened. Was it because he had to supervise her? Eren wasn’t entirely sure about that. In any case, she found, again that she didn’t mind as much as she thought she would or probably should. 

She wouldn’t fall all over herself again because of him, she had Jean now after all, but maybe she could respect him again. Not just for his skills but him as a person. Who knows, maybe they could even develop some kind of friendship.

Anyway, she had to agree. The cookies weren’t so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess that was a bit of a filler chapter... Sorry. ^^,  
> The story will progress soon though.  
> Even so, I hope you enjoyed the Ereri moments. ;D
> 
> Anyway, as always: Thanks for reading, the comments, and Kudos! Any form of feedback is highly appreciated! ^^


	9. A little captain's jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi might finally come to terms with his own feelings. But that didn't mean that everything was solved. There is still that annoying horse face...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! ^^
> 
> Okay, so I'm late again but it's also longer again.  
> I'm really sorry about that... xD
> 
> But as always I hope you'll enjoy the new chapter! :)

_Damn it._

He truly hated to admit it but commander Eyebrows and Shitty Glasses had been right after all. Levi felt pathetic. Admitting that he actually had _feelings_ for the girl and after such a short time too. Levi didn’t _do_ feelings, at least not the romantic kind. But after the last few days, he couldn’t really deny it anymore, not even to himself.

After the day of their little trip to town, Eren had been more distant towards him. Well, maybe distant was not quite the right word. It wasn’t like she avoided him or anything. She did her chores like always, taking part in training with the squad and being perfectly cheerful and friendly to everyone, despite what happened some days ago. There wouldn’t be any further experiments until at least next week but it seemed that there really was a renewed trust between the members of his squat and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud of them.

However, he noted that there wasn’t any personal time with her anymore. The little moments were it was just the two of them; talking, joking around and making her blush (which personally was his favorite part) or receiving strange cookies (which he indeed had eaten every single one of).

None of that had happened in the last days though. In comparison to him, Eren didn’t seem to seek his company especially. What irritated him the most though, was that she spent every free minute with her friends, most of all that horse faced guy, Jean as he had learned. And no, he had not been spying on them, he wasn’t quite that low yet or at least he liked to think so, he had just happened to cross their paths on occasion and maybe he had heard a few of the words they exchanged. That was not creepy at all, right?

And again he came to a realization he hated to admit. Levi needed help, he needed to talk to someone. He didn’t understand Eren anymore. Hell, he didn’t even understand himself!

Talking to Hanji or Erwin was out of the question though. The amount of teasing and „I told you so’s“ was simply not worth it. So he decided to consult someone closer to the source. He decided to talk to Petra. Of course, he didn’t intend to tell her everything. Not about his… _feelings_ or anything else remotely humiliating, after all, he didn’t want to lose the respect of his squad. However, he soon decided that this was a huge mistake. Talking to Petra was maybe even worse than Hanji or Erwin would have been. The woman was terrifying in her own right.

„I _knew_ it! So you really like her after all, captain? This is amazing! To think that she was able to break through all of your barriers that fast. She really is a force to be reckoned with.“

Levi huffed in annoyance. „Petra. Can you… not? I was trying to have a serious conversation, concerning one of our squad mates and asking for your advice.“

Petra actually shrunk a little back at his glare but quickly collected her thoughts. „Sorry captain. I guess I got a little carried away there. But it is just so exciting! Please don’t be angry when I say that but you don’t have to be so formal. I already thought that there was something between the two of you. You don’t have to worry so much, I support it. It might seem unusual or even unethical to some because of your positions or the difference in age. But as long as your intentions are pure, your feelings are mutual and both of you are aware of what you’re getting yourself into it is perfectly fine. There’s no reason to be ashamed or anything it’s not like you want to abuse your power or take advantage of her in any way.

„Also, I think she’d be good for you. Even if it hasn’t been that long yet I think with her by your side you’re more open and positive. I even heard you laugh, I’m not sure I ever saw you smiling at all. And I’m not talking about a smirk or a sarcastic curl of the lips, but a real smile and with her around it seems to come easily to you. It might sound incredibly corny but if I didn’t know any better, I’d say there is some sort of magnetic pull between the two of you. Anyway, you don’t need to worry so much. I’m sure everything will be fine.“

Levi hated himself a bit for it but he couldn’t help the warm feeling that spread inside of him. He probably should be angry at Petra. Should reprimand her for speaking so freely and in such an inappropriate manner. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead, he felt relief flooding through him. Petra’s words had reassured him that maybe what he was feeling was not so wrong after all. He wasn’t sure if he’d call it love quite yet but maybe it was okay.

Maybe he didn’t need to extinguish whatever it was he felt towards the girl.

Maybe the people close to him wouldn’t resent him for it.

Maybe he would get a chance to become happy after all the years of despair.

Levi thought that perhaps it wasn’t so bad he had come to talk to Petra. Of course, he knew Hanji and Erwin would have told him pretty much the same. He knew they supported him just the same and wouldn’t judge him for something like that. But Petra’s gentle words meant a lot to him. Besides Eyebrows and Glasses, the members of his squad were without a doubt the people closest to him. Even though he had tried to keep some distance between them, tried not to get too attached it was only a matter of time. He might try and deny it but they were like a family to him. Of course, they could never replace Isabelle and Farlan but they didn’t have to. It was a different connection but not any less precious. They really had grown on him. And to hear that they supported him like that was all the encouragement he needed.

There was clearly one thing Petra hadn’t thought of though.

In all her considerations she never talked about Eren’s feelings.

Levi was still a bit flustered but chose to ignore it and press on. There were no secrets left, so there was no reason to beat around the bush.

„I appreciate that sentiment, Petra. Really. But I noticed you failed to mention Eren’s own feelings when that was basically the reason I talked to you in the first place.“

„Ah… of course captain. Even though I don’t think there’s much to worry about, feel free to ask me for advice.“

Tch. So she was going to tease him after all. It wasn’t like he had any other choices at this point. He felt as if he didn’t have any more dignity left to lose so he might as well go and humiliate himself further.

„Not like I have any other choice there, now do I?“ Petra chuckled under her breath. This time unfazed by his glare. She didn’t seem to take him quite as serious at the moment.

„Well… you know she spends a lot of time with her friends from the 104th? One of them seems…to be close. Actually, he’s acting like he’s her boyfriend or something.“

Alright, he had been wrong. It was indeed possible to humiliate himself even further. He sounded like a jealous teenager. Even when he actually was that age, he never behaved as stupid and embarrassing. He didn’t know what to do with these feelings and it made him all kinds of stupid. Levi was acting completely out of character. What was worse was that he knew it but couldn’t do anything against it. Just what was that girl doing to him?

Petra seemed to consider his words for a while. „You mean that tall guy with the two-toned hair? Now that you say it he _did_ seem rather familiar with her. Didn’t he embrace her and offered to carry her to her room?“

Levi scowled at her. Did she really need to remind him of these events? It wasn’t like he didn’t think of them already, he couldn’t seem to shake them from his mind. It was annoying as fuck.

„Tch, I guess so. That Horseface.“

At that Petra suddenly burst out laughing. „You-you're jealous! Who would’ve thought-…“ At his menacing glare, she quickly stopped that train of thought. „Alright, I’ll shut up. But to be honest I think it’d be quite possible for her to already have a boyfriend. She’s quite pretty and also strong and capable.“

He didn’t say anything to that. He knew there wasn’t any emotion visible on his face but nevertheless, Petra seemed to pick up on his disappointment and frustration somehow and continued as if she hadn’t stopped in the first place.

„However it seemed to me that all their interactions were initiated by him. Eren didn’t even look all that comfortable when he embraced her. She _does_ look comfortable when she’s with you though. To be honest I was quite surprised how well she got along with you from the start. I don’t mean to be rude sir but your way of talking is rather blunt and as far as I know, people need some time getting to know you to understand you mean no harm by it. Eren seemed to catch on immediately though. Even though she seems a bit awkward and easily flustered at times I think she understands you in some way. And she’s even brave enough to retort accordingly. Actually, I think that makes you quite the match.“

„Your point being?“ He really appreciated her help but he was getting rather impatient. What did all of this matter when she was already with someone else?

„Well, as far as I can tell she does have feelings for you. Maybe she’s not quite aware of it herself yet but it’s definitely there. I don’t know what her feelings for that other guy are but I can tell she likes you. And therefore I’m certain you could win her heart over completely if you only try.“

Levi looked at her incredulously. „Are you serious? Are you seriously trying to tell me to take her away from that other guy?“

„I think if it actually works it’s okay. If you’re able to come in between them, their relationship wasn’t so strong, to begin with. That she already likes you already is proof of that. You just need to try.“

Shaking his head at her he felt slightly irritated. He wasn’t some nasty homewrecker. What the hell did she think of him? „You can’t be serious, Petra. To think that you, of all people, have such twisted morals… I don’t know what to make of this.“

Petra huffed at him, crossing her arms defensively. „Don’t be like that captain. You asked for my advice, didn’t you? And I don’t think what I’m saying is wrong. I’m speaking out of my own experience. When Oluo asked me to go out with him I already liked someone else. Well, I wasn’t together with…them but my feelings were strong nevertheless. At least I thought so. If my feelings really would have been that strong, then I wouldn’t have given into him that easily -not that I didn’t let him squirm for a while. But if my feelings for that person really would have been as strong as I thought, I wouldn’t have given Oluo a chance and confessed to the other person instead. Sometimes we cling to people or emotions out of comfort and because we’re used to it. That doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do though and it certainly isn’t the basis for a healthy relationship. Something like this will only make them more miserable in the future. That’s why I think if she really developed feelings for you it’s better for her to move on. And I don’t want to be sappy or anything but I want you to be happy and Eren too. Therefore I think you should give it a try and fight for it.“

There was a slightly sad smile on Petra’s face and something told him that he shouldn’t inquire further. But maybe what she was saying was not as wrong as he had initially thought. At least he understood what she meant. However, he didn’t know if he could or should actually do something like that. He wasn’t even entirely sure of his own feelings quite yet. Despite that Petra’s words had encouraged him. If it really turned out as Petra predicted then he would still have a chance to fight for it. He would need to give it all some more thought though. Meanwhile, he would just have to see what happened and get an understanding of what Eren was feeling and what she thought.

„Thank you for your advice, Petra. I’ll think about it.“

She gave him a bright encouraging smile in response. „You’re welcome, captain. I’m glad I was able to help you. After all, you helped Oluo and me too. If it wasn’t for you giving him a kick in the ass he probably would have never had the courage to ask me out.“

Levi just raised an eyebrow at her. „I was tired of his pining. The tension between the two of you was affecting your performance and the whole squad.“ He paused giving her a warning look. „Also Petra, this conversation has never happened. If you utter so much as a word of this to Shitty Glasses or Eyebrows I’ll not hesitate to put you on stable duty for the rest of the month.“

Petra chuckled while getting up and walking to the entrance to the mess hall, only pausing when she reached the door. „Of course, captain. If it comes to the squad leader though I can’t promise anything. Last time she said she’d make me take part in her experiments. Sorry captain but when it comes to that I think I’ll have no choice.“

Before Levi could even respond she already closed the door behind her. He groaned internally. There was no way it would not come to that and when Hanji knew she’d have a field day with it. But what was done was done.

 

Of course, he was right. Not even two days later Hanji came up to him with a shit-eating grin on her face and he knew what was to come. It wasn’t much later that Erwin joined in, an equally as mischievous smirk plastered on his face.

It took him forever to get rid of them and their nosy questions. When he did he went in search of Eren. Of course, that had nothing to do with the fact that his two shitty friends basically bullied him into talking to her. Hanji even wanted him to _confess his feelings_ and all that corny shit. Absolutely not. He just wanted to make sure she was doing her chores instead of playing around with her friends all day, that's all there was to it.

When he finally found her though it was not what he expected. What he expected was to find her doing her chores dutifully as always but instead, he found her standing at the window, broom in her hand looking outside. Levi was just about to reprimand her when he noticed her shoulders shaking. Instantly he was reminded of the day he found her crying in stables. Was she crying again? But what had happened? Despite the fact that he had seen her crying before she didn’t strike him as a person who was quick to shed tears.

„Eren?“

Of course, she jumped in surprise since she obviously hadn’t noticed him. When she turned around though he was once again surprised. There were no tears in her eyes. Instead, her brows were knitted together, lips pressed into a thin line but most of all he was taken aback by her eyes. They shone brightly in anger and he was positive that Eren was absolutely livid.

„Sorry captain. I’ll continue at once.“ When she was about to walk past Levi, probably to continue in the next room, he held her back by the elbow.

„Whoa there. Just hold on a second. What’s gotten you all riled up? In the state you’re now, I’d have to worry about the furniture you’re cleaning or even the broom. So what happened?“

Eren made a move to escape his grip on her arm to walk on but he held onto her. She still kept her back to him as she answered through gritted teeth. „I’m fine. Nothing’s happened. Nothing of concern.“

It was clear she didn’t want to talk about it but he thought it would definitely help to talk about it. She really needed to get whatever was weighing on mind off of her chest, so she could calm down and move on.

„Jaeger. I asked you a question and I expect an honest and sufficient answer from you.“ He quickly spun her around to be able to look into her eyes. She still tried to avoid his gaze but he was having none of it. He took her chin in his hand and turned her face upwards to meet her gaze.

The blush on her face was obvious and he couldn’t help but feel rather satisfied with it but the more pressing matter at the moment was to get to the ground of what had happened that made her this upset and angry.

„I… It really isn’t that important. Actually, it’s something really stupid. I just had a fight with someone.“

„With?“

„Um… Jean. My…boyfriend.“

Levi really should have been prepared for that. Nevertheless, it felt like a punch to the gut. He had known it. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the truth of it but he had known that they were together. Deep down he had known from the beginning that it was like that. It shouldn’t hurt so much to get the confirmation from her own mouth, but it did. Oh, how it did.

He was more grateful than ever for his eternally expressionless face because inside his emotions were in turmoil. On the one hand, he was furious, pathetic jealousy eating away at him. Basically, he was cursing that stupid horse face a hundred times over. And wow, were these pathetic thoughts really his own? How come it had taken him that long to realize his feelings? On the other hand, he felt slightly depressed. The one time he was actually able to develop deeper feelings for someone and that person was already with someone else? It just fit all too perfectly with the rest of the shitshow that was his life. That didn’t mean he would accept it that easily though.

Levi thought of Petra’s words again and the way Eren had blushed at his close proximity. Maybe he just needed to fight a little bit. It didn’t have to be the end of this yet. No, he wasn’t about to let it end that easily. If he still had a chance -no matter how slim- then he would keep trying and fighting for it. Wasn’t that Eren’s opinion as well? To fight with everything you had until the very end? So that’s exactly what he was going to do.

Realizing that he hadn’t said anything for some moments he quickly collected himself, looking down at her again. „I’m not sure if I’ll be able to help you. But if you want to talk about it, I won’t judge for anything.“

Eren’s eyes widened at that. „N-no. You really don’t have to. As I said it really was just a stupid fight. I don’t want to waste any more of your time.“

„Tch, I told you that before Eren but I wouldn’t offer something if it was annoying to me or if I didn’t actually care. Because I _do_ care about my subordinates. I do care about _you_ , got that?“

At that Eren’s blush that had just faded, came back in full force. And Levi couldn’t help but smirk at it. It was just too endearing.

„Um well… if you insist. But don’t complain later if you find I wasted your time after all.“ There was a slight pout on her lips and Levi’s smirk widened in return. That stupid, adorable girl would certainly be the death of him.

„Well… it started with something really stupid. I’m not even entirely sure what it was. I think Jean wanted to help me carry some of the new rations I was supposed to bring to the kitchens. When he insisted to help me I told him to shut up and do his own chores instead. I might have told him that I was more than capable to carry some boxes, more than he was anyway. I think I hurt his pride or something because suddenly he was furious. He told me that wasn’t true since I clearly needed help when we were in Trost. He said… He said that I couldn’t have done shit to seal the broken gate without help. And of course, he’s right about that. But to remind of all the soldiers who lost their lives that day, because of…me. I was so… I was so upset about it and that made me only more furious in return. But then… then he brought up Marco. He told me that maybe that was the reason why… why everyone saw me as… a monster.“

Now there formed some tears in her eyes after all. She desperately tried to keep them at bay but now that she had spoken the words aloud she seemed to be more upset than angry. Levi on the other was more than furious now. _That bastard!_ How dare he say something like that to her? Didn’t he know how much the death of their friend Marco had affected her? Didn’t he know how much it must hurt her to be called a monster by the people closest to her? But no. He must know. And that made it just that much worse. If he knew, then that meant that he had hurt her intentionally. That shitty horse faced bastard.

„What. the. fuck. I hope you punched him really hard. Would serve him right.“

Eren looked up at him with confusion in her teary eyes. „Um…No. I was really upset and angry but he was right after all. And it is somewhat understandable. Marco was his best friend and they were really close. Just as I am with Mikasa and Armin.“

„But he still had no right to use that against you in a fight that had absolutely nothing to do with that. Besides the fact that nothing that happened in Trost was your fault, as I’ve told you before, it was more than uncalled for to hurt you like that for no reason at all. And you shouldn’t just accept it.“

Now Eren seemed rather bewildered at what Levi was saying. Maybe he was being too obvious. But he didn’t waver. He meant it when he said that Eren should not stand treatment like that from anyone because she thought she deserved it. He knew for a fact that she didn’t.

„Ah well. He did try to apologize immediately afterward but I ran off. I needed to cool down and didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I know that was rather immature but I’m always a bit hotheaded, I can’t really help it.“

„No, you had every right to be upset. And if you ask me a simple apology is not quite enough. But that’s your decision. If he says shit like that again though you have my official permission to knock that idiot’s teeth out.“

The shock on her face was quite obvious before suddenly she laughed wholeheartedly. Somehow the sight caused a warm tingling sensation in his chest and gut. He was the one who made her laugh like that. The one who had caused the tears to stop and her anger to vanish. He could admit -if only to himself- that he was a bit proud of that.

„Thanks, captain. I’m sure to keep that in mind. Do you think I could still go talk to him when I’m done with cleaning? I know it’ll be a little late by then but-…“

„Tch, if you want to talk to him so badly then just go now. I’ll finish cleaning these rooms.“

„What? But you don’t have to do that! I already burden you so much…“

„Oi brat, what did I tell you about questioning my offers? I only do things because I want to, you should know that by now. You wouldn’t clean them properly and I’d have to look after you anyway. So I’m just saving the both of us the trouble. Just go already. I hope it’s worth it.“

Eren gave him a smile that was so bright and dazzling that the air caught in his throat for a few seconds. „Thank you so much, captain! I really appreciate it.“

And with that she was off, leaving a slightly dazed Levi, who cursed under his breath when he caught himself staring after her. How could he be that captivated by her after such a short time? He shook his head at himself. And sending her off to reconcile with her boyfriend didn’t exactly seem like the best way to win her heart over. In fact, it seemed quite foolish. He sighed heavily. At least it had made her happy. While that horse face got to chance to atone for his failure -and they would probably be all lovey-dovey again in no time- he would clean the rooms of this filthy, old castle. Well, at least he liked to clean.

 

It was maybe two or three hours later that he made his way to the dungeons, hoping that Eren would already be in her cell to be locked in for the night. He wasn’t sure how forgiving he would be if she still was with that horse face and he’d have to go and search for them.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs that lead down to the basement he heard voices talking to each other quietly. So Eren had some company down here then? That was rather unusual. Normally she never brought people down here.

As soon as he got closer he caught some bits of the conversation more or less involuntarily. It wasn’t like he was purposefully eavesdropping but he didn’t make an effort to avoid it either.

„You should go to bed already. I told you it’s fine. And captain Levi will probably be here soon to lock me in for the night.“

„So what? I’m allowed to visit you here. It’s enough already that they keep you down here, now you aren’t allowed company either? That’s just ridiculous and everyone knows it. I don’t understand why he insists to lock you in here.“

„Those were the orders from the court, Jean. It is the only reason I’m allowed here. And you don’t have to go and play my personal protector or anything. I’m a monster, remember? So this is exactly where I belong, isn’t it?“

Levi crossed the corner soundlessly and Eren’s cell came into view. Eren was sitting on her bed with her arms crossed and letting out a huff of annoyance. Jean, on the other hand, was pacing in front of her running his hands through his hair in agitation.

„I already told you I was sorry, okay? You know I didn’t mean that. I only said it out of anger. I never thought of you that way and you know it. It just slipped. I already apologized several times. What more do you want me to do? Kneel at your feet and beg for forgiveness?“

„Well, that’d be a start.“ There was obvious mirth in her voice but she seemed genuinely surprised when Jean actually kneeled in front of her taking her hands in his.

„I’m really sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. If it’d really make you feel better I’ll beg for your forgiveness.“

Eren playfully rolled her eyes at him. „Just get up here and hug me, you idiot. But if you say shit like that again I _will_ punch you, got that?“

Levi couldn’t help but let a small smile cross his features as he heard how Eren basically quoted his own words. However, his smile quickly vanished when Jean got up to embrace her. He instantly resumed his game of „how many ways can I come up with to kill a stupid annoying horse“. That idiot should indeed beg for forgiveness. Of course, he might not be all that objective but he didn’t think he really deserved to be forgiven that easily.

„But really Eren. This cell is ridiculous. Maybe you should punch that shorty instead so he gives you a real room to live in.“

„ _You’re_ ridiculous Jean. I don’t mind the cell all that much. Sure it is not exactly comfortable a bit cold and dirty but it is a small price to pay to be part of the survey corps. And you know he’s not _that_ short. I’m still a good bit shorter than him.“

„Yeah. But you’re cute and ow-! Damn it Eren, that fucking hurt! Don’t just punch me. That was a compliment, you know? Anyway, it’s alright for you. But for humanities strongest, that’s just strange.“

„You want to repeat that, Kirstein?“

Both of them flinched violently upon hearing Levi’s unexpected voice. He briefly wondered if he would ever be able to approach the girl without scaring the hell out of her. But when the two turned to face him, his eyes locked with the other male’s, both of them regarding the other with narrowed eyes.

„I would suggest you hurry the fuck up and go to your own bedroom. It is way past curfew. I might even consider not making you clean the toilets for the next week.“

The teen stood up, saluting rather stiffly with clenched teeth. So he was angry? Well, he might as well be, the dislike was mutual after all.

Eren gave her boyfriend a shove. „Come on Jean, just go already. You’re going to get the both of us in trouble. I’m sorry, captain. He isn’t usually like this. Sometimes he just forgets to think before he opens his mouth.“

„That's obvious. You don’t need to apologize for him though. It’s fine. I’m used to stupidly brave recruits who think they're funny.“ Turning to Jean his eyes lost their previous warmth. „And you should better listen to her. Clearly, you have no idea what you’re saying.“

The boy’s eye twitched in obvious annoyance. His tone more than a little inappropriate as he glared at his superior. „Of course, _sir_.“ He then turned back to Eren, pulling her against his chest in a tight embrace.

„Jean? Wha-…“ Before she could finish her question Jean promptly cut her off by kissing her right on the mouth. Levi’s blood was boiling at the sight. The horse face did that on purpose, didn’t he? But he couldn’t possibly know that Levi was jealous of him, could he? He knew he wasn’t that obvious. On the other hand, Erwin, Hanji, and Petra had noticed too, hadn’t they? So if he did know what was the boy trying to do? Staking his claim on Eren like some animal? How pathetic. Not that he had much room to talk when it came to pathetic behavior. Either way, the boy was clearly trying to provoke him and he hated to admit that it worked.

Levi jingled with the keys in his hands impatiently, earning at least Eren’s attention, who -to his great satisfaction- pushed Jean away rather ungently. „What the fuck, Jean? Don’t do stuff like that in front of other people and without asking me first.“

Jean gave Eren a rather sheepish smile while rubbing the back of his neck, apparently, Eren fell for it. „Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. Goodnight, Eren.“

As soon as the boy was out, Levi walked over to close the cell properly while the two teens said their goodbyes. „Night, Eren.“

„Goodnight, captain. And thanks again for earlier.“

Levi just waved her off as he started the awkward journey back to his own room. Awkward because he had no other choice but to leave together with Jean. They didn’t say anything to each other until they reached the top of the stairs and Levi broke the silence.

„You don’t deserve her, you know.“

Jean stopped abruptly in his tracks, first looking at the captain with surprise before it slowly morphed into an angry frown. „What’s that supposed to mean?“

„Just what I said. You shouldn’t treat your girlfriend like that. Only cowards use their weaknesses against their partner in a fight. You should reassure and respect her instead of making her even more insecure with shit like that.“

„Huh?! What the hell would you know about treating people with respect? You treat everyone like shit. Not to mention you don’t know shit about Eren and me!“

„ I know more than you might think. What do you think who Eren went to when she was upset about your little fight. Even before, when she learned about the death of your friend. I was the one who comforted and reassured her.“

Okay. So maybe it wasn’t exactly accurate to say that Eren _came to him_ for comfort but it wasn’t exactly a lie either. He did comfort her and she didn’t really object when he had embraced her.

Jean’s eyes widened significantly at that. „What?! Why would she…? That’s bullshit. Eren’s with me. She doesn’t need to go to anyone else to comfort. And if she did she would go to Mikasa or Armin.“

„Well, that’s not the case though. How else would I know about Marco? Maybe you aren’t good enough for her anymore and she needs someone who understands her and can actually help her.“

The boy's eyebrows rose high on his forehead while his mouth twisted into an angry snarl. „And that would be you?“

„Perhaps. It’s her choice. But if you keep treating her like today I’ll not hesitate to take her away from you.“

Levi swore he could actually see Jean’s jaw drop at his declaration before his expression quickly went back to anger. „As if you are any better! You crumbled her confidence in the first place. If it wasn’t for you we might even have never become a couple, you know. So that’s obviously your own fault. You could have had her two years ago. But maybe she wasn’t pretty enough for you back then?“

„What the hell are you talking about, you brat?! What is that supposed to mean?“

„Pfft… don’t try to play innocent. Surely you remember how you humiliated her in front of everyone, basically crushing her dreams when she admired you that much?“ When Levi just kept frowning in confusion, trying to make sense of the boy’s words, Jean seemed to realize that the captain actually had no idea what he was talking about and laughed sarcastically.

„Are you kidding me? You really don’t remember anything? I can’t believe it… How very convenient. Of course, it’s easy to berate me for hurting her when you conveniently forget how you broke her heart.“

Levi was really getting irritated. What the hell was the brat on about? He didn’t even know Eren until a few weeks ago. What he was saying made absolutely no sense. How could he have ever broken Eren’s heart?

„Before you talk about _taking her away from me_ you should better try and remember what _you_ did to her. And you might be my superior but I won’t forgive you for hurting Eren like that. Also, don’t think I would just give her up because you suddenly decide that she’s pretty enough for you now or whatever. If she really wanted to be with you I’d let her go. But I doubt that could ever happen. If you think she’d just fall for you again then you’re wrong. Well, I’ll be going to bed then, _sir_.“

With that Levi was again left standing in the middle of a hallway utterly dumbfounded and irritated at the same time.

What did the brat talk about? Two years ago? He vaguely remembered that he had once visited the recruits of the 104th training corps. Perhaps that’s what he was talking about? He couldn’t think of anything though. Maybe he should ask Erwin about it. That men’s memory was more precise than any book. Maybe the commander could help him understand the situation better.

One thing he knew for sure though. No matter what had happened back then, Levi wouldn’t just give up. After all, he had never been much of a quitter and he certainly loved a good challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was that.
> 
> I apologize if you find the characters are a bit out of character. I guess Jean wouldn't actually have the guts to talk with Levi like that.  
> But he kinda developed this intense dislike for Levi two years ago. And obviously, he is jealous too. Not to mention afraid that he'll lose Eren to Levi. Ahemm........
> 
> Also, Petra and Oluo are indeed a couple. But to be honest I didn't really feel the need to add that tag since the expedition will be soon... :'(
> 
> Anyway, I hoped you liked the new chapter and as always I appreciate any feedback. :)


	10. A little girl's temper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren asks for the opinion of her friends but the result is not quite what she expected. And somehow everyone's acting pretty strange...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :)
> 
> I'm so sorry for taking so long for the update... This was supposed to be up days ago but I had some issues with uni... ugh. :/  
> But well...here's the new chapter... ^^,

„I just don’t understand him anymore.“

Eren groaned from where she lay sprawled out on Mikasa’s bed. Both Armin and Mikasa looked up at her for a moment. Armin slowly lowered his book while Mikasa kept polishing her neatly kept blades.

„Why? What’s the problem? Besides the two of you fighting, that’s nothing new after all.“

Eren just rolled her eyes at her sister. „Gee, thanks, Mika. Thanks for telling me how strange my relationship is. But actually, that's not really what I meant. Lately Jean’s just kinda…clingy? I mean it’s not really bad or anything. I _do_ enjoy spending time with him -when he’s not annoying the hell out of me anyway. But it’s like he doesn’t want me to spend time with anyone else, or at least not with my new squad. And I don’t understand why. They’re all really nice and it’s important I bond with them so we can work better as a team. So why would he act that way?“

She turned her imploring gaze to her best friend, waiting for him to explain the strange behavior of her boyfriend. The blonde gave a hum in response while rubbing his chin thoughtfully. „Of course I can’t say for certain but maybe he’s…jealous?“

„ _Jealous?!_ “ Eren nearly choked on the word in disbelieve. „Why the hell would he be jealous? It’s not like I chose to be a titan shifter or anything. And it’s more than obvious, that’s the only reason I got into the special operation squad. He didn’t even want to join the survey corps before Trost and always tried to convince me to join the military police. There’s no reason for him to be envious of anything.“

Mikasa huffed, sounding halfway between amused and annoyed but didn’t say anything. Armin rubbed his face in exasperation but fortunately, he had enough patience with Eren and went to explain.

„You misunderstood, I didn’t mean he was jealous of you. I can only guess but if you ask me, I’d say he's jealous of…captain Levi.“

Eren stared at him blankly for a few moments. „What.“ It wasn’t even a question but a demand for further explanation, knowing Armin would indulge her.

„Eren. We all know you had a crush on the captain a few years ago.“ She tried to protest but Armin just raised his hand to silence her before she could even attempt to defend herself. „Don’t even try to deny it. It really was that obvious, we all knew. But that’s beside the point. What I meant to say was that I can understand Jean’s point of view. You practically worshipped that guy and now you’re around him every day and in very close proximity too. And I don’t want to judge you or anything but from what I’ve seen the two of you did seem strangely close? At least much more so than expected when one considers what happened between you in the past and what positions you’re in.“

„What the hell, Armin?! What do you mean by "strangely close" what’s that supposed to mean?“ 

„I don’t know, Eren. It’s just whenever we see you with your squad you’re next to him. We even saw you talking and _laughing_. From what I’ve heard the captain is not usually one to joke around with his subordinates. Jean seems to think that the captain might have developed some…interest in you or something.“

„But…! That's ridiculous! As if someone like him would actually _like_ me. Yes, he might be a little nicer to me now and I understand him better now but that doesn’t mean anything. Even if he _would_ like me does Jean really think I’m gonna fall over myself again just because the captain suddenly decided to like me? Jean of all people should know better than that!“ 

Mikasa and Armin exchanged a look. Eren didn’t miss that and huffed in annoyance. „ _What?_ “

„Eren… Are you really sure about that? Sometimes we think you’re not as over it as you seem to think.“

„…Are you saying you think I’d jump at the first possibility to cheat on him?“ There was some suppressed anger in her voice and Armin quickly went to reassure her before her temper could flare.

„Of course not, Eren! We know you’d never do something like that. But just assuming captain Levi would indeed like you, could you honestly say you wouldn’t want to be with him instead?“

„I… I don’t… I mean that's not…“ Eren was fairly taken aback by that question, stumbling over the words before her temper finally took over. „What’s up with that stupid question? That's not gonna happen anyway. Captain Levi would _never_ like me like that!“

Armin just gave a sigh in response but Mikasa suddenly stood up walking over to her sister with a serious face and firmly grabbing her by the shoulders. „Eren. If that midget ever tries to take advantage of you, tell me and I’ll take care of him for you. He deserves it anyway for what he did at the trial.“

Eren quickly shoved her sister away and gave her two best friends a glare. For some reason, she was terribly irritated by them at the moment.

„I told you to get over that already, Mikasa. Don’t be so childish as to hold a grudge against him for something that was out of control, he saved my life with that. Besides, you don’t even know him. And neither do you for that matter, Armin! He might seem a little rough and ruthless on the outside but actually, he’s a quite caring person. Actually, I think we’re even becoming friends. He doesn’t even really care about rankings but rather treats me like an equal. Even though I’m a titan shifter and under his surveillance, he doesn’t treat me different from the rest of his squad. In fact, he’s the only person, who didn’t treat me any different ever since I transformed. He would _never_ take advantage of me!“

„Eren-…“

„It’s lunchtime already. I’ll go and eat with my squad. See you later.“

Before either of them could say anything Eren was already out of the room. She knew it wasn’t particularly mature to just run away in the middle of a conservation like that but she just couldn’t help it, she was just too irritated. Actually, she wasn’t even sure why she was so angry in the first place. But they obviously had no idea what they were talking about. 

Eren flinched, _again_ as someone suddenly took hold of her wrist. Did the captain always have to sneak up on her like that? 

„Are you always this jumpy or is that my fault somehow?“

„Ah… Sorry. I don’t really know why.“

Levi silently appraised her for a moment. „Oi, brat. What are you so agitated for? Did you have a fight again or something?“

„Oh no, it’s fine my friends are just being strange.“

The captain snorted at that. „Try being friends with commander eyebrows and shitty glasses then. I bet your friends aren’t half that bad. Well maybe except for your annoying boyfriend.“ The last part was mumbled under his breath and she wasn’t entirely sure she actually heard that and therefore chose to ignore it.

„Well, I think being friends with you is quite enough for me.“ Only then did she realize what she just said. She could feel her face flush in embarrassment. „N-no I didn’t mean to imply-…“

„Shut up, Eren. I don’t mind.“ When she dared to look up into his eyes there was a smirk on his face. And yet there was something in his eyes that belied the curl of his lips. Even so, she had no idea what kind of emotion it was he unsuccessfully tried to hide. „Friends, huh? That's fine, I guess. I do want the members of my squad to be close and that includes me of course. I think that's okay. For now.“

Huh? What did that mean? For now? Does that mean he wanted her out of his squad soon? But it didn’t really seem like that at all. Or maybe because of her status as a titan shifter and the fact that he’s instructed to kill her should she ever go berserk? Eren was pulled out of her musings though as his hand latched onto her shoulder, gently guiding her forward.

„Come on, brat. It’s time for lunch. I bet the others are waiting for us already.“

With that, they made their way to the mess hall. His hand never left her shoulder though. Now that she thought about it, the captain was indeed rather… handsy. That was quite unexpected, to say the least, but somehow she didn’t mind it all that much. In some ways his touch was comforting. 

But maybe that’s why everyone drew wrong conclusions about them? Honestly, it was rather stupid to make assumptions because of something as minor as that. Maybe that was natural for the captain it could just be his way of expressing himself. After all, he did seem like a person who preferred actions over words, even if he was surprisingly eloquent sometimes, at least in Eren’s opinion.

And for some reason, she couldn’t really bring herself to ask him to remove his hand. It wasn’t because she enjoyed it that much but she just didn’t want to offend him. That's all there was to it, right?

When they entered the mess hall many heads turned their way and she was suddenly overly aware of their close proximity and the hand on her shoulder. She squirmed nervously under the gazes directed at them before she finally spotted their squad, Petra waving at them with an excited expression on her face.

She was probably only hyper-aware of it because of her talk with Armin and Mikasa anyway. 

Eren was unusually silent during lunch, still lost in thought. She didn’t even realize she was being talked to until Oluo waved a hand in front of her face. „Oi, you brat. What’s wrong with you? Petra’s been calling out to you for at least ten times already. Are you deaf or something?“

She turned to face Oluo prepared to give a snappy retort when she noticed the breadcrumbs scattered all around his mouth and chin. „Before you try to give me lectures you should rather take a look at yourself. You’re a mess. Didn’t the captain teach you proper table manners by now?“

Of course, Oluo immediately bristled but before he could think of a way to reprimand her for her cheekiness Petra interrupted with a soft giggle.

„She’s right Oluo. If you don’t learn to behave properly the captain might banish you from our table. Just leave her alone, you idiot. You’ll only end up biting your tongue again.“ Even as she said so, she leaned over him and brushed the crumbs away with a napkin. She wasn’t exactly gentle, rather rough in fact as she brushed the cloth over his skin. Despite all that, there was a soft blush on Oluo’s face and he kept silent afterward. 

Eren smirked at them. Petra sure knew how to tame him. But she was also curious. There was a question that burned on the tip of her tongue for quite a while now. 

„Um… I don’t mean to be rude but may I ask… Are you two a couple?“

Petra and Oluo exchanged a look while both of their faces were slightly flushed now. This time though Oluo was the first to answer.

„Yeah, we are. What’s it to you? You’ve got a boyfriend too, don’t you? _-OW_! Petra! What the hell are you kicking me for?!“ Petra looked like she wanted to smash her palm against her forehead at Oluo’s apparent idiocy. She threw a quick glance over her shoulder to the other end of the table. When Oluo followed her gaze realization seemed to dawn on him as his mouth formed into a small 'o'.

Eren, on the other hand, was still rather confused. She threw a quick glance at the captain hoping that he could make sense of their strange behavior but unfortunately he was too busy glaring at the bickering couple. Maybe they were annoying him? 

„Hey, Eren. Are you done here? Then let’s go out for a bit, before afternoon exercises.“

Eren turned to see Jean standing next to their table, arms crossed and obviously waiting for her.

„Oi, Kirstein. Go play with the other ponies some more, Eren is obviously not done with her lunch yet. And she won’t have time afterward either. She’s gonna receive some special one on one training to improve her fighting while in titan form.“

Captain Levi had his arms crossed as well, his glare no longer directed at the bickering couple but at Jean. For some reason, it seemed much more intent too, like it wasn’t just annoyance. But what else could it be? He didn’t seem to like Jean for some reason. Maybe Jean was annoying the captain with his apparent jealousy? She still couldn’t see it but if Mikasa and Armin thought so, the captain might do as well. 

„One on one? Why can’t she just train with the rest of us? We’re training hand to hand combat too. Why does it have to be _you_?“

Okay. So there was clearly a challenging undertone in his voice. She could see where they were coming from, now that she paid attention to it. Maybe Jean really _was_ jealous. _That stupid, idiotic Horseface._

„It wouldn’t do any good if she trained with you recruits though. She was the best in your graduation class, there’s probably not much to learn for her with you guys. Besides captain Levi is the best out of all of us. If anyone can prepare her for the upcoming fights it’s him.“

Eren was surprised when she realized it was Eld who had spoken up. Now that she paid attention to it, she realized that they were now in the center of attention. The whole squad was staring at Jean, or rather _glaring_. What the fuck was going on? Had Jean done something to somehow antagonize the whole survey corps? There was clearly something she was missing.

„Eld is right. Eren’s combat skills are surprisingly advanced. You probably wouldn’t even stand a chance against her now that she trained with us for a while.“

„I can train with her then.“ 

Eren blinked up at Mikasa and the rest of her friends suddenly standing next to Jean. Armin, Sasha, Conny, and Bertolt seemed rather uneasy standing there, while Krista smiled sweetly like always, Ymir gave them a blank stare (as per usual she wasn’t interested as long as it didn’t concern Krista) Reiner smirked at them in apparent amusement while Mikasa downright glared at the captain. 

Jean who had gotten a bit intimidated by the whole squad had now gained new confidence with his friends at his side. „That’s right! Mikasa can totally help Eren improve. After all, she’s the one who made her that good, to begin with, besides Annie. And just for your information, I can hold my own against Eren. She’s not much better than I am.“

Eren chuckled at that, ignoring the glare Jean threw her way. Conny burst out into a fit of full-blown laughter though. „Come on Jeanboy, that's a lie and we all know it. Eren kicked your ass every single time you ever fought.“ 

„ _Conny_! Shut up, you bastard! And I told you all not to use that stupid nickname anymore.“

At that nobody could hold onto their laughter anymore, even Mikasa and the captain were smirking at the blushing Jean.

Said horse face huffed in embarrassed anger and tried to revert the attention from his condescending nickname and go back to the original topic instead. „So Eren can train with us now, right?“

„No.“

The signal word was spoken with such authority that there should be no room left for doubt. But of course Jean just didn’t know when to shut his big mouth. „Why though? Is there any _real_ reason?“

„Jean… I really think you should-…“ Eren was promptly cut off by the captain though.

„I didn’t know I needed a reason for the way I’m training my subordinates. And if I did, I certainly wouldn’t need to tell you.“

„But if there’s no reason and she’s _just a subordinate_ than I don’t see why she’s not allowed to train with us instead.“

Suddenly the captain stood up and walked over to Eren. Without another word he just took hold of her wrist and pulled her up from where she was sitting. He then turned to Petra and the rest. „Please take care of our dishes and proceed with normal training afterward. Eren and I will go ahead. I’ve had enough of this childish shit show.“

The squad happily agreed while Eren was dragged out of the mess hall, still highly confused. They had barely made it outside though when Eren was pulled back as a hand took hold of her other wrist. It was Jean. Of course, it was Jean.

„Oi, I thought she wasn’t done eating yet.“

„Well, she is now, shitstain.“ 

He looked at Eren with a raised brow, daring her to say otherwise.

„Um… I guess…?“

„See? Now let go of her, we’ve got shit to do.“

„Well, why don’t you let go of her first, _sir_? Isn’t it a bit inappropriate to hold hands with your subordinate? Especially without asking for her consent first.“

„What do you mean? It’s not like you ask her before you force yourself on her. I don’t think she liked that kiss yesterday all that much.“

_What the hell was happening here_? Eren’s face was flushed bright red but neither of the two males seemed to notice or care, as they were still too busy glaring each other.

„How’d _you_ know? Besides I’m her _boyfriend_.“

„Oh? So you’re saying that gives you the permission to do whatever you want to her? Insulting and hurting her too, like you did?“

„I just said that because I was angry and I didn’t mean to hurt her. What you did to her was much worse. You have no right to complain about me. Just leave her alone.“

„ _CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR A SECOND AND STOP TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT LITERALLY STANDING BETWEEN YOU_?!“ Eren huffed angrily as she forcefully pulled both of her hands free. There were even tears of anger and frustration in her eyes. Yes, they had indeed both hurt her, in their own ways. She didn’t exactly appreciate being reminded of it though. Both situations had been painful and humiliating to her and she didn’t need them discussing it with her in the middle of it all, thank you very much.

Suddenly it occurred to her that she probably wasn’t supposed to talk like that to her superior. But she couldn’t really help it when her temper took over. Even so, she didn’t really know what to say or if she should apologize. 

There was a moment of awkward silence before the door behind them opened and Petra and the others emerged, freezing in their tracks as they took in the scene. After another awkward moment, Petra stepped towards Eren. 

„I think for today it’ll be fine if you train with us again. You know there’s still this one special trick I learned from squad leader Mike I’m sure you’ll find it useful. That should be fine, right captain?“

The last sentence was spoken over her shoulder as she had already begun to lead Eren away by her shoulders. She heard a deep sigh in response.

„Yeah, alright. Kirstein, I expect you in my office after dinner. And I’d suggest you refrain from getting yourself into any more trouble.“ With that, he followed Eren and the rest.

Eren gulped at that. That didn’t sound good. He didn’t actually let it show but somehow she had the feeling that the captain was utterly _pissed_. But not at her, apparently. Only Jean. She didn’t know why but she wasn’t about to question her luck. And Jean, well Jean really brought that upon himself. His jealousy was totally irrational. Eren would probably have to have a good, long talk with him, but maybe his inevitable punishment would finally make him see reason. Because really, there was absolutely no reason to be jealous. That was just ridiculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaay... Seriously, guys, I'm sorry.  
> First I'm late with the update and then it's something like that...  
> I mean what even is this...?  
> Team Levi vs team Jean...?! xD
> 
> I know that's totally ridiculous, out of character and stupid but I really couldn't help myself.  
> That's a scene I had in my mind for such a long time.  
> I'll admit it was way better in my imagination but I still hope you don't hate me for it or this story for that matter.  
> The next chapter will be up earlier though. I'll try my best to update this weekend.
> 
> Well, see you next chapter (hopefully). :D  
> (*hides under a rock till next update*)


	11. A little captain's determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few conversations suddenly everything made sense to him. But what was he supposed to do with this knowledge? Does it change anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! ^^
> 
> So here's the new chapter. For once not too late. (But again too short... Sorry.) xD
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it! :)

„Alright, that's enough for today.“

He heard the relieved sighs from the members of his squad. The training today had taken a bit longer. And they were all pretty exhausted as it was close to dinnertime already.

„You guys go on to the mess hall already I need to talk to Eyebrows first. It’ll probably take a while so you don’t need to wait for me. I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.“

„Yes, sir!“ They all saluted dutifully before picking their things up to make their way to the mess hall. He held Eren back though and she gave him a questioning look.

„Eren. If I’m not back before you guys are ready, please wait in your room for me to lock it. I don’t always want to go around looking for you.“

„I’m sorry captain. I didn’t mean to trouble you.“ There was a guilty look on her face. And he regretted that he had spoken up in the first place. _Ugh. Stupid words._ That had come out totally wrong.

„Not what I meant, brat. For some reason, I don’t really mind if it’s you. I just said that because you need some rest after today's training and we’ve got to get up early. Although you were right. Your friends _are_ weird.“

Levi was relieved to see the guilt vanish from Eren’s face and was being replaced with a bright laugh. „See? I told you so.“

„Yeah. Maybe I should trust you more in the future. Anyway, I hope they’ll never get in close contact with Eyebrows and shitty glasses that would probably end in a catastrophe.“

Eren’s laughter only increased at that and she actually had to wipe tears from her eyes. „Did anyone ever tell you, that you’re absolutely hilarious if you want to be, captain? I would’ve never guessed.“

Levi grumbled a „whatever“ under his breath but couldn’t quite hide the small smile on his face. „Well, that's a new one, brat. Also, it’s Levi now.“

„Huh?“ Eren gave him a look that was half confused and half curious. Fucking adorable. Damn that girl. 

„My name. I told you to call me Levi from now on when it’s not an official occasion or we’re in front of the higher-ups.“

Eren’s eyes widened slightly as the meaning of his words sank in. „Really? Is that okay? But the others are calling you captain too, don’t they?“

„They do. But that has nothing to do with you, right? And didn’t you say yourself we are friends? Isn’t it normal for friends to call each other by name?“

„Oh. Right, that’s true. But still…“

„If you don’t want to, just say it.“ Levi had crossed his arms over his chest, mumbling the words out in annoyance. He would never acknowledge it but at this moment it was actually him, who was acting like a petulant little brat. 

„No no no! That’s not it at all. I was just worried that people would think I’m receiving special treatment or something. But if you think it’s okay, I’ll gladly call you by your given name, _Levi_.“ There was also a dazzling smile on her face.

Oh shit! He did _not_ just blush, did he?! That was not possible. He, who had been called expressionless for as long as he could think, couldn’t possibly just blush because of one little brat calling his name. And yet the heat he felt rising to his cheeks said otherwise. He quickly averted his gaze, hoping that Eren hadn’t noticed anything.

„That wasn’t so difficult, now was it? Anyway, you should run along. Dinner’s waiting and I need to catch Erwin before he leaves for the capital.“ 

„Oh. Is everything alright?“

Levi looked at her with a quizzical expression. „What do you mean? Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be?“

„I just thought since you’re trying so badly to catch him before his departure it must be something important.“

„That’s nothing for little brats to worry about. If it really had been something important, I would have told you.“

Eren’s face brightened immediately and she made a hasty departure to catch up with the rest of the squad. Honestly, he felt a bit guilty. After all, he knew about Erwin’s plan for the expedition and he had in fact not told her about it, nor could he do so in the future. Even if that was not at all, what he wanted to talk to the commander about at the moment, he still felt guilty.

It wouldn’t do, to dwell on these thoughts though. He had to find Erwin and when he was done with that, Kirstein would probably already be waiting for him at his office. On second thought that didn’t sound too bad. The horse face might as well wait for him a while, then he couldn’t go and spend time with Eren. It was a petty thought but at this point, he didn't mind that all that much anymore. And if Kirstein thought he didn’t need to wait for him, he’d have another one waiting for him. 

 

Levi didn’t bother knocking on Erwin’s door, he just stomped right into it. Erwin didn’t really mind anymore, he was used to Levi’s antics by now. He looked just about ready to depart with a back on top of his desk and his cloak over the armrest of his chair. He raised an eyebrow at Levi’s sudden entrance.

„Levi. I suppose you didn’t come to say goodbye? So how may I help you?“

„It’s not really something important. I just wanted to ask you something.“

„Oh? I’m all ears. By the way, I heard about that little scene during lunch. Actually, I’m quite disappointed that I missed it. I bet it was quite amusing.“

A scowl immediately took over Levi’s features. „Shut it, Eyebrows. If you just want to make fun of me instead of actually helping then you can stuff it.“

Erwin chuckled lightly. „My apologies that really wasn’t my intention, I guess I just couldn’t help myself. So what was it, you wanted to ask about?“

„Tch, whatever Eyebrows. Do you remember the day we visited the 104th training squad some years ago?“

There was a thoughtful expression on Erwin’s face now, his thick eyebrows drawing together slightly. A rather ridiculous sight, in Levi’s opinion.

„Yes, I do. I bet you regret that day now, don’t you?“

Levi’s brows shot up at that. „What do you mean?“

„Oh come now, Levi. Don’t tell me you don’t remember anymore. That would be quite inconvenient.“

„Tough luck then, ´cause I don’t remember shit.“

Erwin was now rubbing his face in agitation. „Well, that certainly explains a thing or two… But really Levi? Wasn’t that the first time you met Eren? A shame you just forget something like that.“

Levi was fairly confused by now. „I met her then? But I’m sure I would have recognized her if I’d have seen her there that day, let alone if I actually talked or interacted with her.“

„Oh, you did. Actually, I think you were quite the jerk showing her up and insulting her. I think she was quite disheartened back then, now that I think about it. But how come you don’t remember something like that? Well, I suppose she looks quite different now.“

At that Levi recalled a vague memory of a scrawny girl, pretending to be a boy. Didn’t he insult her because of her untidy appearance or something? And later he discouraged her from joining the survey corps, telling her it was hopeless anyway. 

_Oh, fuck no!_

 That couldn’t possibly have been Eren, right? Eren was indeed tiny though… And then he recalled that boy. The boy with whom she crushed together, the cheeky little brat. That was the horse face, wasn’t it? Now that he thought about it the brat always seemed a bit familiar. 

But damn. It all made sense now. Why Eren had been hesitant around him sometimes or even downright reserved in the beginning. And of course, that’s what Kirstein meant too. No wonder the brat resented him. 

Levi remembered that he hadn’t thought much of it at the time. Of course, he wouldn’t deny that he had been harsh to her but he probably would have treated every other person the same way. Eren just happened to be the unlucky recipient of it. Considering the consequences he was unlucky too. 

Apparently what happened then had made much more of an impact for Eren though. Judging by Kirstein’s accusations and Eren’s reactions he must have hurt her much more than he could have realized. His stomach was twisting with the guilt he felt. Even if he felt indifferent to her back then, he didn’t intend to hurt her. But now that he knew it was Eren, it felt ten times worse. Without knowing it he very possibly had ruined everything that could have been, before he even knew there was anything to ruin. 

„…Levi?“

Levi quickly snapped his head back up only to find a slightly concerned look on Erwin’s face. He slowly leaned back in his chair dropping one hand over his eyes. „I’m an idiot huh? The boy is actually right with the stuff he said about me. And there’s no one to blame but myself.“

Erwin huffed in apparent annoyance and proceeded to pull Levi’s hand away from his face. Levi attempted to protest but Erwin just shot him a glare, all with piercing blue eyes and drawn eyebrows. „You’re right. It _is_ your fault. So now what? Are you just going to drown in self-pity? Yeah, you made a mistake, so do your best and make it right again. You’re humanity's strongest soldiers it doesn’t suit you to just stand by idly because of something that happened in the past. I told you before not to regret but rather to learn from it and move forward. So don’t look back and do something instead. Fight for it, that's what you do best after all.“

Levi was left a little speechless. That’s not really what he expected to hear. But maybe Erwin was right, well he usually was. There were still some doubts though. „So what do you propose I do? Walk up to her and just apologize for being an asshole a few years back?“

At that Ewin actually chuckled. That jerk. „No, not really. Even though I think that would be hilarious. But actually, I think you should just keep going like you did until now. Earning her trust and slowly winning her over. You just need a bit patience.“

„Tch, patience and I don’t mix well.“

„It’ll be worth it though, right? Besides, I do think she already likes you. Maybe she doesn’t quite know it herself yet. Just make her realize it.“

That was pretty close to what Petra had said, wasn’t it? It sure didn’t look like it though, seeing as she seemingly spends every free minute with her friends and that horse face. 

„Anyway, I expect some progress when I return next week. With the titan training and with your… situation.“

Levi quickly stood up and stomped to the door. Erwin still called after him. „I’m always glad to help.“

„Yeah, fuck you too, Eyebrows.“ Fortunately, Erwin knew how much he actually valued his words, even if he could never say it out loud. As annoying as they were sometimes, he really appreciated his friends and how well they knew him.

 

Arriving at his office, his mood improved even more at the sight of one very irritated horse, waiting next to the door. So he had been waiting after all. Good. That made things easier.

„Where have you been, _sir_? I’ve been waiting forever, dinner is long over.“

He quickly ushered the boy in. More because he didn’t want to be overheard than anything else. „That’s none of your business Kirstein. Let’s get this over with quickly.“

„What exactly? You want to punish me for being with Eren now?“

„Oh, I’d love to. That’s what I always think when you put your filthy fingers on her.“

„Filthy?! Isn’t that rather you? You’re older and her superior!“

Levi scoffed at the boy. „I meant that literally. Seriously, do you kids even wash your hands?“

Jean’s anger dimmed slightly and was partly replaced by confusion as he looked down at his hands. The boy quickly shook his head though, giving the captain an expectant look. Levi sighed in response. „Well, punishment is due because you were defying your superior officer and caused quite the racket. Therefore I’ll assign you to clean the bathrooms for one week. I could have told you that earlier too though. So that's not the reason I wanted to talk.“

The boy seemed to fight a moment with himself. In the end, it seemed he decided not to protest against his punishment. His next words came out through gritted teeth though. „Then what is it you want to _talk_ about so badly?“ 

„I know what you mend now. When you were talking about how I hurt Eren.“

„So you finally remembered? It’s about time. You _did_ hurt her pretty badly back then.“

„…How bad was it?“

Jean gave him a slightly bewildered look but answered nevertheless. „It really was pretty fucking bad. She liked you, you know. Admired you so much, it was definitely a hero crush. And you… well, you basically told her that she is useless and she should just give up on her dreams. She was _crying_. She never cries. That was the one and only time I ever saw her cry. And that's exactly why I can’t forgive you!“

Levi closed his eyes for a second and swallowed past the lump in his throat. He had already decided to take Erwin’s advise not to dwell on the past and move forward, however that did nothing to quell the immense guilt he felt. Despite that, he cleared his throat and forced himself to tell the boy what he had to say.

„I really don’t expect you to forgive me. However, I’m not giving up on her because of that. You’re right I made a mistake. I hurt her and I regret that. But I’m going to make it right. I’m not telling you this to fuck with you. It’s supposed to be a fair warning. From now I’ll work even harder to earn her trust back. And I’m not going to stop for your sake. Everything else is completely up to Eren.“

Jean was furious. Of course, he was. Who wouldn’t be after such a bold declaration? He gave a stiff salute and left without another word. But despite the appearances, he had a feeling the boy appreciated his honesty. Maybe… 

It didn’t really matter though. What really mattered was Eren. He really hoped she would find it in herself to forgive him. But maybe Erwin was right. Perhaps she already had forgiven him. Surely she wouldn’t call him a „friend“ if she didn’t. That didn’t necessarily mean she trusted him though, even if she liked him. But in that case, he would just have to work harder to win her over. And that’s exactly what he would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... To be honest it drags on much longer than I thought. By now I wanted to be done with the expedition and so on already. Oops... :'D  
> Also it's probably too much conversation, while nothing actually happens... But that'll change soon. I promise!  
> I also hope I'm dragging it not too much and that you still enjoy it. :)
> 
> Anyway, thank you for every comment, Kudo, etc. As always I'm happy about any feedback.  
> Until next week. :D


	12. A little girl's contemplation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day before the expedition. Eren reflects on herself and the people around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Okay... so this time I'm late and it's very short too... ^^,  
> So I had some difficulty this time but I hope it still turned out okay. :)

Time passed quicker than Eren could even realize. Days and weeks went by and before she knew it, it was already the day before the expedition.

On the one hand, she was excited. Finally, she could follow her dreams. Slaying the Titans, fighting side by side with the special operation squad, avenging her mother and maybe she could even get one step closer to her dream of seeing the ocean and all the other miracles waiting for her on the other side of the wall.

That was only positive thinking though. She knew, in reality, it wasn’t quite as easy. In reality, an expedition behind the walls meant a high risk for everyone. Eren didn’t exactly worry about herself though. After all, she was in captain Levi’s squad and she knew very well that her other squad mates were more than capable too. And if it really came down to it she could still transform.

Even though that was an uncertain factor too. Over the last few weeks, they’d done several more experiments. Each of them had brought better results than the one before and her control over her titan had improved steadily. She was nowhere near a level where she could call herself „in control“ though. Even if she was able to concentrate on her goal, that didn’t guarantee she wouldn’t lose control at any given time. The last few experiments went flawlessly. Everyone was satisfied with her progress too, especially Hanji. In the end that didn’t mean anything though. Her abilities were still unpredictable and she was only allowed to use them should her own life be in danger.

That was something she didn’t like. Did that mean she wasn’t allowed to use her abilities if she had the chance to save lives? She nearly had gotten into an argument about it with Levi. She demanded that he allowed her more freedom but he was strict when it came to Erwin’s orders. She had been quite angry at him, to be honest, but he had told her that there wouldn’t even occur a situation where she would feel the need to transform if everything went according to plan.

_If_.

That little word alone destroyed any chance of soothing her. _If_ simply wasn’t enough for her. But actually, there wasn’t much she could do about it. She would just have to trust Levi, her squad, and the commander and could only hope that everything would really work according to plan.

What really concerned her though were the lives of her friends.

Mikasa, she knew she could trust to keep herself safe. If it wasn’t for Eren’s sake the ravenette wouldn’t recklessly risk her life. What about Armin though? He was a genius when it came to strategies and had more knowledge than everyone else she knew combined (except for commander Erwin) but would that really save him from Titans? What if something went wrong and he had to face them in combat? A shudder went through Eren. And what about Sasha and Connie? Always goofing around and making everyone laugh. What if they didn’t take the situation serious enough? Or Christa who was always kind to everyone, of course, she’d always have Ymir right by her side but if it was only the two of them, they wouldn’t be able to hold out against the Titans for long. Bertholt would probably be extremely nervous, what if he just froze when faced with a real titan? She could easily see Reiner trying to play the hero, trying to protect the others, while putting himself in danger. And then there was Jean. What if he overestimated his own abilities? He could easily get killed or eaten if he was arrogant enough to underestimate his enemy.

What if any of them wouldn’t come back after this expedition? What if any of them died, just like Marco did during the battle of Trost? With nobody even knowing it. Maybe some of her friends wouldn’t come back and today would be the last time she ever saw their faces.

It wasn’t like she didn’t trust in her friends. She knew very well that all of them were strong and capable. But she also knew the true terror of the Titans. Training to use the 3dmg and „fighting“ against dummies was one thing but coming face to face with a real titan was a different matter entirely. Of course, they’d all faced titans during Trost but was that really enough to prepare them for a real expedition beyond the walls? Could anyone ever really be prepared to fight a titan?

„Eren, are you alright?“

She turned around to see Mikasa looking at her with a slightly concerned look on her face. Currently, they were sitting together with all of their friends from the 104th squad. Even if no one would dare to admit it, it was like a farewell celebration. They all knew that it could possibly be the last time they sat together like this. And yet everyone was trying to be as cheerful as always, to enjoy the time they had left. But Eren couldn’t quite bring herself to play along. Apparently, she wasn’t able to hide her feelings for long either as her sister seemed to have caught on.

„It’s nothing, Mikasa. I’m just a bit nervous because of tomorrow is all.“

„Eren!“

Mikasa didn’t seem satisfied with her answer but kept silent as Jean called out to Eren and approached them. As soon as Jean was in reach he forcefully took hold of her shoulders, making her look up at him with confusion in her eyes and a hint of annoyance at the rough treatment.

Apparently, that had also caught the attention of the others as their conversations had come to a stop and they were all looking at them now.

„What the fuck, Horseface?! Let go.“

„Eren. Nobody but Mikasa and Armin was at the trial, neither were we with you in Trost, so we actually never knew. But I just heard someone talking about it… Is it true that, in your titan form, you tried to kill Mikasa?“

Everyone gaped at Jean and Eren was taken aback. She didn’t realize that the others didn’t know about it. But of course, they would be shocked or angry even. She had to avoid their gazes because it was true after all and the fact that she didn’t remember doing it didn’t make it any better. In fact, it made things even worse and she felt even more guilty for it.

Mikasa was glaring at Jean though. „That’s wrong. Eren was trying to kill a fly-…“

Jean cut her off though, ignoring Mikasa’s glare which only intensified.

„I didn’t ask you. That scar on your cheek… It’s from then, isn’t it? When Eren attacked you?“

Eren still couldn’t look any of them in the eyes, especially Jean’s imploring gaze. „I think it’s true. In my Titan form, I tried to kill Mikasa.“

„So you don’t really remember it? In other words, you weren’t aware you had that power until now, and you leak the means to control it.“ He even shook her slightly but Eren just kept her gaze on the floor, gritting her teeth.

„Yeah, that’s right.“

Jean looked at her silently for a few moments, before he gave a sigh and let go of her to turn to face their friends. „Hear that, guys? That’s the situation we’re in. Our lives and mankind are in her hands. We’ll probably die without Eren ever knowing, just like Marco did.“

Jean’s words felt like a punch to her gut. That really was a low blow and he knew it. She desperately had to fight tears from spilling over the corners of her eyes as she looked at the shocked and apprehensive faces of her friends.

„Jean, why are you driving Eren into a corner like this?“ Mikasa was obviously angry at him for making her sister upset and exposing her like that. Jean turned back to them a slightly annoyed look on his face as he talked to Mikasa.

„Do you think I’m trying to pick on Eren? You know very well how I feel about her, despite everything. I know this is serious but that’s exactly why I’m saying all this. Because we have the right to know what exactly we’re risking our lives for. Otherwise, we’ll waver at the moment of truth. We have to expect something out of Eren. Let us know what to expect. And whether it’s worth our lives.“

With that, he stepped closer to Eren lifting her face by the chin until wide ocean orbs stared back at him. „So, Eren! We’re seriously counting on you, okay?“

With that he pulled her into an embrace, holding her tightly and leaning down to bury his face in her hair. Eren couldn’t even answer anymore she just stood there limply as he held her, tears running down her face.

She understood him, she really did. And yet his words stung. Those weren’t the words she needed to hear. They only amplified her own thoughts and made her feel all the more guilty. She knew all of that already. And by saying it out loud like that, the heavy burden she carried on her shoulders only felt worse. He didn’t understand her.

What she needed was someone who understood her burden and could help her carrying it but Jean didn’t seem to get that.

In fact, their relationship had been difficult for some time now. Maybe Jean hadn’t realized it but Eren had felt caged by him. It was all because of his stupid jealousy. No matter how often she told him there was nothing to worry about, he didn’t seem to believe her and he was overbearing in his jealousy. This, in turn, made her angry at him. Did he really have so little fate in her? It wasn’t really her fault that she had to spend so much time with her squad and Levi especially. But even if she could, she wouldn’t. She liked spending time with her captain. The more she learned about him, the more she respected him and appreciated the friendship they had now. There was no way she would give that up because of Jean’s insecurities.

They’d had one big fight when Jean realized that Eren called the captain by his name. She’d tried to explain that it was a sign of trust and their growing _friendship_ but Jean had been livid. He had told her how stupid and naive she was and that had set Eren off even more. In the end, they’d conciliated, with a little help from Armin, but the heated argument had left a bitter aftertaste in its wake.

Now that he confronted her about what happened in Trost she didn’t know what to feel anymore. He had hurt her again, deeply. He probably deemed these words necessary and they would be if she didn’t already know them. But she _did_ know all that, better than anyone else in fact and therefore his words only hurt.

She didn’t feel as comfortable or warm in his embrace anymore.

They would have to talk about it. They’d have to talk about a lot of things. But now was by no means the right time. So she just stood still and let him hold her. When he finally pulled away, she allowed him to press a chaste kiss to her lips. She gave each of her friends a brief but affectionate hug, before they sad their goodbyes and went to their respective sleeping quarters.

As she made her way down to the cells she resolved to push every thought of Jean or the possible loss of one of her friends out of her mind. Right now she needed to focus on the upcoming expedition and when she was finally out there, do her best to make this mission a success.

A while later Eren sat on her bed, with her knees pulled up to her chest. She was waiting for Levi to lock her in but she didn’t have to wait for long. She heard his steps before she could see him.

He looked like always, permanent scowl and an air of coolness and boredom around him. But after so many weeks in close contact with him, she could read the slight signs of agitation and apprehension in him. His posture was more tense than usual as he walked towards her, his hands were balled up into tight fists and his eyes flicked around a lot.

She had expected him to say something to her before tomorrow but she was still surprised when he stepped into her cell only stopping when he stood right before her. That’s something he never did before.

„Eren.“

„Levi?“

„You’ll follow my every order, right? You’ll stay by my side as much as possible but otherwise, you’ll stay safe, okay? Promise me you’ll not put yourself in unnecessary danger.“

Eren slowly stood up and strangely enough, there was a small smile on her face now, as she looked up at her captain. „Oh? So am I that important to the survey corps? To the commander's course? Or maybe you’ve grown attached to a little brat like me?“

Her tone was slightly playful and joking trying to light the atmosphere and she expected the captain to respond in kind, as he usually did, but that was not the case. Instead, his face remained serious as he stared her down. „I’m being serious, Eren. Now answer me.“

Eren’s smile dropped and she returned his gaze with as much intensity.

„I promise, Levi. I promise that I’ll do what is expected of me.“

She knew that was not the promise he had wanted to hear. After all the expectations could be widely different, depending on whom you asked and his face reflected as much. However, he didn’t hesitate to pull her into his arms then. Her face was buried in the nape of his neck and she found herself returning his embrace just as tightly.

She wasn’t supposed to feel that comfortable in his arms. She wasn’t supposed to feel the things that weren’t there when Jean had embraced her. She wasn’t supposed to feel like she never wanted to let go again.

And yet she did.

What if Jean hadn’t been so wrong in his assumptions after all? Could it be possible that she was falling for Levi again? Even after her initial crush had been so brutally resolved. Even if she was with Jean now?

But that couldn’t be. Eren wasn’t swayed that easily and she would never betray someone. It certainly hadn’t been her intention. She never had these motives in mind when she spends time with her captain. But what if it…just happened? Like some kind of accident.

Of course, it didn’t really matter anyway, since Levi didn’t harbor feelings for his subordinate of all people.

And again she came to the conclusion that now was not the time to think about these things. His arms around her gave her a feeling of comfort and stability and that was exactly what she needed at that moment. She decided to indulge herself just this once. Tomorrow their world could be turned upside down already. Maybe everything would be different. So just for now, she would indulge in this little moment of peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it's so short.  
> But it was a bit difficult for me to make the transition to this part of the story.  
> However no we're getting a bit more action (hopefully xD).
> 
> Like always every comment, kudos, etc is highly appreciated and thanks for reading! :D  
> (I also apologize for taking forever to answer comments, it was a bit stressful lately...)


	13. A little captain's grieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 57th. expedition outside the walls doesn't quite go as planned...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey guys! ^^, 
> 
> I'm so sorry for not posting last week. o.o  
> Unfortunately, the last week before the holidays had been a bit stressful.  
> But therefore I can promise you regular updates for the next few weeks and maybe even two for one week.  
> Although I have to say there aren't that many chapters left.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

He couldn’t let go. Levi held onto Eren’s wrist desperately. Of course, he knew that he wasn’t supposed to be here, resting against the headboard of the bed the head of an unconscious Eren laying in his lap while his other hand was gently stroking through her long brown hair. But he didn’t care, not after everything that had happened that day.

He had known that Erwin’s plan didn’t come without risks but this… This was worse than everything he could have ever imagined. At that point, the only thing that kept him from losing himself was the soft breathing he could hear in the silence surrounding them and the beating pulse he kept searching for. There was an overwhelming need to protect the small girl in his arms. Of course, he knew that it was irrational but he felt as if she too would disappear from his grab as soon as he let go of her. And he couldn’t lose anyone else he cared for, certainly not Eren. He had been so close to losing her too after all. If he had been just a few moments later, he probably would have.

It was hard for him to imagine that just this morning, everything had been alright. Just this morning they still had a squad, people that had been like a family to him, even if he never admitted it. But now they were gone. Gone like so many before them and it _hurt_. It was way too sudden and they didn’t deserve it all. Besides Erwin and Hanji, Eren was everything he had left. At that thought, he couldn’t help but clutching the girl a little tighter to himself. He _couldn’t_ let her go.

***

„Abnormals!“

„Eren, you shoot!“

„Yes, sir!“

So far it seemed that the expedition went just as Erwin had predicted. Being protected in the middle of the formation they hadn’t encountered anything. No titans, nor anything else. Nothing.

Receiving the report that the right flank had been butchered was slightly concerning. He knew what it meant, probably. Still, he disliked the situation. Or rather he disliked Erwin’s plan in general. So much unnecessary death. Of course, he understood why Erwin was doing it. It was for the cause, as always. But was it really right to practically sacrifice so many of their soldiers, when it was more than likely one of the plans which didn’t work out in the end? It just made him sick to have the knowledge weighing on his shoulders. Maybe he shouldn’t blindly put his trust in Erwin. For all of Erwin’s intelligence, it was seldom that his strategies actually worked out in the end. Even if they did, it was never without huge sacrifices which nearly made all the success for naught.

He recognized though that now wasn’t the time to dwell on it. It was too late. The only thing he could do at this point was to move on and give it his all to ensure that this mission would indeed be a success and that all the risks and sacrifices haven’t been meaningless.

The expedition continued as if nothing happened. Nothing seemed out of place. That immediately changed though as they neared the edge of the Forest of Giant Trees. He could feel the nervousness radiating off of his squadmates. Especially Eren, just as he had thought. He could tell, the others were trying their best to conceal their nerves but Eren clearly wasn’t capable of such a thing yet. As soon as they entered the boundaries of the forest she called out to him, concern and slight hysteria evident in her voice.

„Levi! _Levi!_ “

„What?“

He could clearly sense her temper flare at the annoyance in his voice. „What do you mean, _„What“_? We’re in the forest! If just the middle section is in the forest, we won’t know when the Titans approach! And something seems to be approaching from the right! How are we supposed to avoid the Titans or protect the wagons?“

_Really Eren? Well, thank you for telling me, I didn’t notice at all._

Levi clicked his tongue. He understood Eren, it wasn’t easy on him either. But at the moment he really couldn’t allow himself to care about someone else’s feelings. He kept his answer simple if a little bit harsher than intended. But he couldn’t help his own agitation.

„Don’t ask such stupid questions. We can’t do that anymore.“

„Why are we-…?“

He interrupted her before she could even finish her question. „Look around you, Eren. A forest of ridiculously huge trees. An ideal location to fight with our 3D Maneuver Gear. Now think. Think with your sad excuse of a brain. If you don’t want to die, get those gears turning.“

„Yes, sir!“

After that Eren was silent and whether she was actually taking his words into consideration or if she was just stunned by his harsh words, he prayed it’d stay that way. He didn’t like lying to her or even giving her any reason to doubt him. But he knew Eren would never accept the commander's plan. She wouldn’t be able to look past her own emotions and move on. Even he himself was barely able to do that. But for someone as emotional and passionate as Eren, it would be impossible to accept.

The silence didn’t last long. Soon there was the sound of a flare being shot from behind them, he didn’t have to turn around to know what color it’d be.

„A black signal!“

„Right behind us!“

„Isn’t that the thing that’s been chasing us from the right?“

Now the others had let their emotion get the better of them as well. The threat was too dire for them to ignore it any longer. Sighing he started to draw his blades, preparing for the worst case or an emergency.

„Everyone, draw your swords. If that thing decides to show itself, we won’t have any time.“

Only seconds later they heard a defining crunching sound as a 15-meter class Titan brook out of the foliage and smashed one of the soldiers chasing it into a nearby tree.

„Run!“

He knew it was their target. It couldn’t be more obvious, really. One glance was all it took for him to know that this was in no way a normal Titan. The Titan had obvious female features to it and it’s movements were much too precise to even be considered an abnormal. There was no doubt in his mind that this was the other titan shifter, as Erwin had predicted.

„It’s fast! We can’t get away inside this forest!“

„It’s catching up to us!“

„Captain, can we switch to our 3D Maneuverer Gear? _Captain?_ “

It was no good. They were panicking. He had to think of something. And he had to do it _quickly_. He wasn’t given the ability to think though as he heard a shout from behind. Closing his eyes he tried to block out what was coming next. Even though he knew there wasn’t anything he could do, he wished it wasn’t happening. That he could just tell these soldiers to stop coming after them and sacrificing their lives. But he couldn’t. If he did, it would probably ruin Erwin’s entire plan and then everything really would have been for naught. And he couldn’t block the sounds either as his squad kept shouting at him.

„Reinforcement from behind! Captain! Orders!“

„Let’s do it! That thing is dangerous! We have to take it!“

„I’ll turn it to minced meat!“

„Captain!“

„Please, give us orders! It’s catching up to us!“

„Let’s kill it here! That’s why we’re in the forest! _Isn’t it, Captain_?!“

„Captain, orders!“

This whole situation was making Levi crazy. Inside he was just as hysterical as his squadmates and would like to shout right back at them, but he couldn’t. He had to keep calm, even if it was only a facade to reassure them. It was a bit early but he supposed it would work alright. Eyebrows would know for sure.

With that thought in mind, he pulled out his own Flare Gun, turning around a little bit to look at his panicked squad. „Everyone, cover your ears.“

He pointed the gun upwards and pulled the trigger. The high pitched noise immediately echoed throughout the forest. It was a gruesome noise but it did his job, he supposed. Erwin and the others had heard it.

He ignored Eren’s inquiry since it was obvious that it was a sound blast. He knew she wanted to know _why_ he had used it. And what good it would do but he didn’t have time for that at the moment. Instead, he turned to his team, finally gaining their attention.

„What are your jobs? Do they involve getting overwhelmed by fickle emotions? That shouldn’t be the case. Our squad’s duty is to keep this brat from getting a single scratch on her. Even if it costs our lives.“

Levi wasn’t usually this harsh, at least not when it came to his own squad. But he had to get them back in focus. He knew very well how hard it was to abandon their comrades but at the moment there was no other choice. His squad usually understood this but in this situation, he had to remind them. And if he had to abandon his own emotions to do so, then that was the price he had to pay.

It was worth it though as he saw understanding flashing in their eyes, followed by a single-minded determination that could rival his own. Unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for Eren. Of course, she was part of the squad but it was also her very first expedition and she was way too stubborn for her own good. He knew she understood his words to some extent. There was a quiet gasp he nearly didn’t even catch, but it indicated that she had listened. She knew that they were _protecting_ her, when before she probably had thought they were only watching her to keep her in check. Despite that, he knew she wouldn’t be able to let it go that easily.

„We’ll continue to flee on horse. Got that?“

„Yes, sir!“

Petra and the others had stopped questioning him. But as he had thought Eren was still not ready to let it go.

„Flee? To where exactly?! Besides it’s already right on our tails.“ She was interrupted by the whirr of the soldiers approaching with their gear. „Reinforcements! They’ll get killed like the others if we don’t help!“

This time though the others didn’t join Eren in her panic but tried to make her go on as well. „Eren! Face forward!“

„Don’t slow down! Keep going full speed!“

That wasn’t enough though to convince someone as stubborn and with such strong convictions as Eren.

„Gunther! Eld! Why?! If we, the Levi Squad, don’t stop it, who’s going to?! Another person died! We might’ve been able to save him! There’s someone still fighting! If we go now, we can make it!“

Now it was Petra, who tried putting Eren in her place. „Eren, face forward and keep going!“

„Are you telling me to turn a blind eye?! You want me to run, leaving a comrade to die?!“

„Yes, that’s right! Obey the captain’s order!“

„I don’t see why we have to abandon him! I don’t get why you won’t explain either! If there really is a reason, tell me why!“

Levi internally winced at their exchange. It was his task. He should be the one to try and calm Eren, to keep her from doing something stupid. But he couldn’t bring himself to, he was to caught up in his own feelings. It didn’t make it any better when Oluo added to the mix.

„It’s because the Captain decided against it! You don’t understand because you’re still a newbie! If you do, shut up and obey!“

There were a few seconds of silence, before-

„ _What are you doing, Eren?!_ “

He exhaled softly at Petra’s exclamation. It was clear what was happening behind him. Eren was about to transform. He should have known that there was no way to possibly tame her.

„That should only be done when your life is in grave danger. Didn’t you promise us that? Eren!“

„You’re not in the wrong.“ Levi could clearly hear them gasp. Neither Eren and Petra nor any of the others had expected him to say something like that. But he knew what he had to say.

„Feel free to do it. It’s clear to me. She’s a true _monster_.“ He had to force himself to ignore the little wince he heard. That probably wasn’t the best way to say it, he didn’t want to hurt her. But he needed to get his point across. It was something that was important to him for various reasons.

„But not because of her Titan abilities. No matter how you try to hold her down… No matter what cage you lock her up in… Forcing her mind into submission is an impossible task.“

He didn’t turn around but directed his full attention to the girl behind him. The only person he could really admire, maybe for exactly these reasons. „Eren, the difference between your decision and ours arises from the gap in experience. But you see, you don’t need to depend on such a thing. Decide. Either you believe in yourself or the Survey Corps, myself included. I don’t know the right answer. I never have. Even if I believed in myself and the decisions of my comrades who’ve earned my trust, the result was always a complete mystery. That’s why… you should just do your best to make a decision you won’t regret.“

Eren didn’t give him an answer but that was alright, he didn’t need one. He’d said what he had to say and now it was up to Eren to make a decision.

As he said these words to Eren he couldn’t help but think about Isabelle and Farlan. About _his_ first expedition.

Back then he had made the wrong decision and it had cost the lives of the only two people he cared about at that point. He had been selfish. Only caring about his own feelings. His thirst for revenge. He had been arrogant enough to care more about his harmed pride than about the people he loved and it had cost him dearly. However, he wouldn’t interfere with Eren’s decision. It was her who had the power to change this situation for better or worse and therefore it was her decision to make. He was pretty sure that Eren had already decided. Even though his logical mind told him that it was stupid, that he should hold onto Erwin’s plan and force her to obey with any means necessary, he trusted her. He trusted her to make the right decision without his interference, no matter the consequences.

His squad was not quite on the same page though. Petra especially was still not willing to give up yet.

„Eren! Believe in us.“

Eren's gaze drifted between Petra, him and the rest of the squad. But she didn’t say anything for several long moments. She was taking too long. He didn’t want to pressure her but he had no choice. They had no time left to spare.

„Eren! Hurry up! Decide already!“

As he finally turned to look at her he could see the pain flashing across her face and he prepared for the worst. He could have never predicted her answer though.

„ _I’ll keep going!_ “

Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t help the shocked look on his face, nor could he deny the warmth that flooded his chest.

She trusted them.

She trusted _him_.

There was no time for these thoughts though. Even though Eren had finally made her decision it wasn't over. The female Titan was still right behind them and they hadn’t reached the designated point yet. And apparently, she had just upped her game a little.

„Target is accelerating!“

„Faster! We’ll outrun it!“

Eren didn’t complain anymore but was obviously still not certain if it was the right thing to do. Before anything else could happen though they finally - _finally_ \- reached their goal. They were riding too fast to really see Erwin and the others hiding there but he could certainly hear Erwin’s shout.

„ _FIRE!_ “

The countless explosions echoed behind them as they bound the target, that was no longer following them. They slowed down somewhat as his squad looked back to see what was happening.

„After securing the horses up ahead, switch to three-dimensional maneuvers. I’ll act separately for a while. Eld will take charge of the squad. Hide Eren a good distance away from that Titan. I’ll leave the horse to you.“

Levi gave them a stern look that clearly stated to keep his brat from getting harmed in any way if they wanted to see a new day. When he was assured that they got his massage, he activated his gear and jumped from the horse to fly into the trees and back in the direction of the female Titan.

It didn’t take him long to reach the branch Erwin was standing on, easily overlooking the scene in front of him. „Looks like its immobilized.“

Erwin acknowledged his presence without turning towards him, his gaze fixed on the Titan below and currently unable to move. „We can’t let our guard down yet. At any rate, good work guiding it to this point.“

„We were able to buy time thanks to the rear squad that gave their lives fighting. Without them, it wouldn’t have been possible.“

„Is that so?“

_Tch, bastard! Not even pretending to care about your soldiers? But you probably knew I would have seen trough you anyway. Maybe it is you who should be called a monster and not Eren._

„That’s right.“ He pressed out between gritted teeth. „Thanks to them, we can meet the one inside this thing’s nape. I just hope they’re not pissing themself inside.“

With that he pulled out his blades, preparing to attack and pull whoever was inside out. Erwin stopped him though and let the last remaining squads fire until they had emptied their reserves.

Only then did he gave Mike and Levi permission to attack the Titan’s nape.

They quickly discovered that it was no use though. All of their attempts had failed and left them with no success and broken blades. It wasn’t a leak of skills though. Even if the Titan covered her nape with her hands, that should be no problem, seeing as they were the best fighters humanity had to offer. Those crystals were clearly meant to protect and unfortunately, it worked quite well. They tried a few more times but it was just as useless as before.

While Mike went to report to Erwin, Levi made a swirl to land on top of her head. „Hey, would you come out already? We don’t have all day, you know. Say, what do you think will become of you? Do you think you’ll be able to escape this predicament? I wish you’d consider the trouble you’re causing us. If I’m not mistaken you killed my subordinates in various ways, but did you take joy in any of it? I’m actually enjoying this moment. Hey, you felt the same, right? I’m sure you, of all people, understand. Oh, right. There’s something I want to ask. Is it all right if I sever your hands and feet? They’ll grow right back, won’t they? I’m talking about your real body. It’ll be a problem if you die, after all.“

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Or perhaps the right thing? At least it had gotten a reaction out of her. Albeit a very strange one. She started to scream impossibly loud, the noise echoing much further than even the boundaries of the forest. Levi had no choice but to cover his ears, even if it didn’t help much. He probably was partially deaf now, seeing as he was standing right on top of her head.

„Why you… That was quite the scare.“

Before they could do anything else there was the loud echoing of hundreds of heavy footsteps. Hordes of Titans were approaching them, from all sides apparently. As they came closer they were surprised to see that they even ignored all the soldiers that tried to take them down but rather headed straight for the female one. It dawned on him that it was her fault and that she did it on purpose.

He stomped on her head in annoyance. „Hey, you… You pulled something earlier, didn’t you?“

Of course, she wasn’t able to answer though. He quickly turned his attention to the approaching Titans. Jumping down he took out three of them in one spin.

„All soldiers, engage the enemy! Defend the female Titan!“

So that was her plan, huh? Those minions were supposed to eat her? So for some reason, she preferred death over being captured. Well, not if they could help it. It quickly became clear to them though that it was no use. They were fighting, and slaying, splattering blood everywhere. He couldn’t even count how many he had killed by now. But it didn’t matter. There were simply too many of them.

„All soldiers, retreat!“ Levi landed next to Erwin, as he ordered their retreat. „Assume the formation. Return to Karanese District!“

Their soldiers were clearly discouraged. But he couldn’t blame them at all. He felt it himself. Despite everything, despite all the sacrifices it was still all for nothing.

„We’ve been had.“

Levi looked around to face his commander. „Just look at you. All filthy.“ He couldn’t help the slight bite and sarcasm in his voice. He knew it was no use to be angry at Erwin because his plan had failed. But he couldn’t really help it. So many people had died for _nothing_.

„This shows the enemy was prepared to abandon everything. To think they’d have themself devoured to avoid leaking information…“

_So he noticed that his plan failed? Congratu-fucking-lations Commander Eyebrows. And the bastard probably doesn’t even think of the consequences this will have on the people. If anything he’d only think of his goddamn cause._

„This disaster, after everything we said at the trial… If we go back empty-handed, who knows what’ll happen to Eren and us?“

„Let’s consider that after the fact. We should concentrate on getting back with minimal losses first. For now, at least.“

„I’ll call up my squad then.“

„Wait, Levi.“ He stopped in his motion, merely acknowledging that he had heard Erwin.

„Resupply your blades and gas.“

That made Levi give a pause. This was quite a strange thing to say in the current situation. „We’re short on time. What I have on should last. Why?“

„It’s an order. Obey.“

Levi stared at Erwin for a long moment. „Understood, Erwin. I’ll trust your judgment.“

It was true for the most part. However, there was also an underlying warning in his voice. He trusted Erwin to make the decision which would be best in the long run. If he betrayed his trust though, there would be hell to pay and it wouldn’t be easy to gain it back.

He went back to their supplies, quickly filling up on the gas and taking new blades. When he was settled with new supplies, he hurried back to the place he had last seen his squad and following the path they had taken after that. It seemed to take forever until he suddenly heard something that made the blood in his veins freeze. Without a doubt the almighty roar he just heard came from Eren’s Titan, he had heard it often enough during the experiments. That meant his squad had encountered some grave danger. It had to be a worse situation than the one before, which meant that it had to be the female Titan again. So maybe that bitch wasn’t dead after all. Did Erwin see that coming and that was the reason he told him to resupply? Then _why the fuck_ didn’t he tell him?

Levi hurried as quickly as he possibly could in the direction where the roar had come from. He had to make it in time, he _had to_.

He saw Gunther’s body first.

He was hanging from the tree at an odd angle, unmoving and not breathing anymore. Even when his own breath hitched he didn’t falter. He couldn’t allow himself to grieve quite yet for his lost squadmate. For now, he had to do what he could. Rescue whoever he could.

Eld’s body shouldn’t have been as much of a shock anymore. But it was.

His hope was dwindling.

As he found Oluo and Petra he wanted to scream and cry in anguish for his lost team. The people he had worked with for years. They had wormed their way inside his heart. Never in a thousand years would he ever admit it but they had been like a family to him. He had cared for them. And now they were gone.

Even when the anguish he felt threatened to crush him, trapped inside and not even able to release it in the form of tears that would never come, there was still a tiny flicker of hope.

Eren had to be still alive.

He quickly followed the noise but was soon met with silence. Only moments later he stumbled upon a sight which made him stumble so hard that he nearly fell to the ground.

The body of Eren’s Titan, beheaded. Clearly no Eren in sight. But he wasn’t ready to give up just yet. The female Titan couldn’t have come too far. He would slice her open until he got Eren back. She was a resilient little shit, after all. He refused to give up hope until he saw that she was dead himself. She _couldn’t_ be dead. He had ordered her to stay alive, hadn’t he? Therefore she was not allowed to just die. And if she was… Well, then he would have a lot of fun, slowly taking the female Titan’s body apart until there was nothing left. He didn’t even want to think about what would happen afterward.

Only seconds later he was tailing the female Titan. As he came closer, he also noticed that someone was already fighting it. When he finally reached them he realized that it was that Mikasa-girl. Eren’s sister, wasn’t she? He made it just in time to catch her when she was thrown off by the Titan’s punch.

She didn’t seem very grateful if anything she just seemed annoyed that he was keeping her from attacking right again. Tch, what an annoying girl. He knew that she didn’t like him, never had. And she clearly preferred that Horseface on Eren’s side rather than him. Not that he liked her that much either. But she was Eren’s sister and he could respect her skills. They could work together to retrieve Eren if there still was any chance that she was alive.

„Fall back for now.“ He went ahead and trusted that the girl would follow and copy his movements. „Maintain this distance. It may be tired. It doesn’t appear to be going particularly fast. She seems to have been bitten right out of the neck. Is Eren…dead?“

His heart clenched at the mere thought. Eren couldn’t be dead too. He had already lost his squad, he couldn’t lose her too.

„She’s alive. Our target seems highly intelligent, and capturing Eren is apparently her primary goal. If she wanted her dead, she could’ve crushed her in her jaws. Instead, she’s carefully holding Eren inside her mouth while fighting to escape.“

The nearly extinguished flicker of hope in his chest came back to life at Mikasa’s words. Even though none of his emotions were visible on his face, he knew there was a new spark in his eyes.

However, he also knew that it wasn’t entirely realistic. Perhaps it was better to prepare the girl for the possibility that lay ahead of them.

„Eating Eren may also have been her goal. If so, she would’ve ended up in her stomach. It makes more sense to assume she’s…dead.“

„She’s alive!“

„I sure hope you’re right.“ Okay, he let that one slip and couldn't hide the pained tone of his voice either. But at that moment it didn’t really matter anyway. He wasn’t sure whether Mikasa had seen through him or not. The only thing he received in return was a chilling glare.

„If only you’d protected Eren, this never would’ve happened!“

That was like a punch to the gut or worse as if someone had stabbed his heart. And maybe she was right. It was just like it had been with Isabelle and Farlan. If he hadn’t separated from the group, they might still be alive. He could’ve protected them. They wouldn’t be…

Abruptly he turned to face the girl mid-flight. „Listen here, little girl. I know you are her sister and that you’re protective of her. But whether you believe it or not I care for her as well. But this is no time for petty arguments. We’ll focus all our manpower on one goal. First of all, forget about killing the female Titan.“

„But she killed so many of our comrades!“

„So long as she can crystallize her skin, there’s no way we can kill her. Trust my judgment. We’ll keep hoping that Eren is still alive, and attempt to rescue her before they leave the forest. I’ll hack her up… You draw her attention!“

With that, he swiftly pulled out his blades and prepared himself to attack. And he was glad to see that the girl followed his instructions. She flew right in front of the female Titan, drawing her attention alright. However, it clearly noticed when he got closer and in position to attack.

It didn’t help her though. As soon as she lunged, he was on her. Slicing her arm up in a fast but precise spin. Before she could even move he was in her face thrusting the blades into her eyes as deep as they would go. Not wasting any time he took new blades and began slicing her tendons and other sensitive places with a speed and precision that was nearly inhuman. But the fury and adrenaline lent him additional strength and speed. This Titan had killed his squad. Gunther, Eld, Oluo, and Petra had fallen victim to that thing. But he would not lose Eren to it too. He would save at least Eren and if it was the last thing he did.

However, he soon noticed Mikasa. The shitty little girl was disobeying his orders! Not only that she didn’t even realize the danger she brought upon herself. He quickly threw himself in front of the girl, pushing her away from the raised hand of the female Titan. As he made contact with its arm though he twisted his ankle, badly. He grunted in pain but there was no time to waste because of a minor injury like that. Quickly he sliced her jaws open. He used a nearby tree to gain momentum and swung himself onto her jaw, only to find a spit covered Eren.

As fast as possible he pulled her into his arms flying back to a tree branch to take her in and to make sure she really was still alive.

„Hey! We need to get out of here!

„Eren!“

„I think she’s okay. She’s alive! Filthy, though. Don’t worry about anything else. We’re pulling back. Don’t lose sight of your primary objective. Is it more important to get the revenge you desire? Isn’t she your precious sister?“

Not waiting for her response, he turned around and flew off with Eren’s tiny form securely under his arm. He couldn’t care less about what the girl was doing. He had Eren back and she was still alive. For now, that was all he could care about.

Nevertheless, he was pleased to hear her follow, maybe he had gotten his point across after all. When he turned around though he did not only see Mikasa but also the female Titan, which was now _crying_. His eyes widened a bit. He had expected many things from that Titan but for it to _cry_ … He quickly shook it off though. It didn’t matter. Right now they had to concentrate on getting safely back behind the walls.

When they reached the rest of the Corps, he carefully laid Eren down in on of the wagons, she was still unconscious. Fortunately, most of the salvia had already evaporated but there was still blood on the side of her head. He removed his cravat to carefully wipe away the blood and dirt from her face, afterward he took a bandage from the wagon and wound it around her head securely. Taking off his cloak as well, he folded it neatly, placing it underneath her head as a makeshift cushion.

He stood up then, only to realize that Mikasa had been watching the whole time. She stared at him for a long moment, scrutinizing him from head to toe, before she finally sat down on Eren’s other side and gave him a nearly imperceptible nod. Returning the nod in a similar manner, he took that as a cue to take his leave.

Only moments later he stood in front of the bodies of his now dead squadmates. His heart clenched as he stared at the fabrics, obscuring most of their bodies from view. They were gone. In one little second, they had lost their lives and he hadn’t been there to protect them. Now they were lost to him forever and he had nothing left but the memory of them. He kneeled in front of them. Taking out a little knife he cut out one of their Survey Corps emblems. It wasn’t much but it’d have to do. He would always remember them. And they would always have a place in his heart, as his squad, his second family. They would never be forgotten.

Right now he just wanted to blend out the world around him and cling to the only person he had left. The only one he was ever able to protect. He just wanted to curl up next to Eren and never let go. That wasn’t to happen though. As soon as he walked back over to the others, he heard Erwin and a few others argue about retrieving the corpses of fellow soldiers which were left behind. He was tired of all this and wanted to move on quickly, he just wanted it all to finally be over.

„Quarreling children?“

„Captain Levi!“

„If you confirmed he’s dead, that’s enough. Whether or not you have a body, dead is dead. It doesn’t change a thing.“

„But that’s…“

„We’ll say Ivan and the others are missing. That’s my final decision. Leave it at that.“

With that, they walked off. He might feel a little bit bad for them but he was just too tired to deal with this anymore.

„Don’t either of you possess any human feelings at all?!“

„Hey, Dieter! You’re getting too far ahead!“

Neither he nor Erwin turned around. Levi knew what they thought of him. That he was cold-hearted, that he didn’t care about his soldiers and subordinates at all. With Erwin, they were right to some extent. He did care about them, but he cared for his cause more. No matter what, the cause always came first to him.

Levi was different. Even though he never let his emotions show on his face they were always there. He cared for every single one of them and he hated himself for allowing them to be sacrificed. But it couldn’t be helped. As a leader, he couldn’t let them see his inner turmoil. He would stand strong, if only on the outside. They could hate him if they wanted. If it helped them to get over their grieve, then so be it. He knew what he had to do and he would. But for now, he would allow himself a little moment of weakness.

As he walked back over to the wagon, where he had left Eren with Mikasa, he found not only her but also Armin and Jean. While Mikasa and Armin were just sitting by her side, Jean was fussing over Eren, who was still not conscious. Quite frankly it annoyed him. He didn’t seem to care so much when Eren was abducted. The roaring had echoed all trough the forest. There was no way he _hadn’t_ heard it. Not that he would’ve wanted him there, _absolutely not_. He would’ve probably been much more annoying than Mikasa and much less helpful. But still, it was strange to think that the boy wouldn’t even _try_ to do something.

However, he decided to let it go. He had no energy left to argue. Even though he felt their gazes on him, as he approached, he ignored them as he carefully climbed on the wagon, mindful of his injured ankle. Sitting next to Eren’s head, he leaned back and stretched his painfully throbbing leg out.

„What the fuck are you doing here, _sir_? Don’t you have something better to do?“

Before he could address the annoying fucker, it was Mikasa who spoke up, to his great surprise. „Shut up Jean and leave him be.“

„ _What?!_ What the fuck is wrong with you Mikasa? Weren’t you the one, who always ranted against the Captain?“ Horseface looked at her in incredulity.

„Yes. But _he_ was the one who rescued Eren. _You_ weren’t there.“

That shut Jean up quickly and he stopped fussing over Eren, crossing his arms firmly over his chest and glaring at both raven haired soldiers.

Mikasa just shrugged and returned her attention back to Eren, while Armin looked between all of them with a slightly worried expression but also as if comprehension had dawned on him and he got a grasp of the situation even though he wasn’t involved himself.

Shortly after they prepared for departure and everyone but Levi and of course Eren settled on their horses again.

Not long after their departure, there was a red signal flare from the rear guard. Apparently, the Titans were close. With his injury and no trees in the vicinity, he couldn’t do much. The only thing they could do was to outrun them. But to do so they had to gain some speed and the only way to do that was to abandon cargo, meaning the corpses of their comrades.

While he gave the order to do so, he noticed Mikasa taking out one of the Titans, thus saving Dieter, who basically had caused this mess by disobeying their orders.

As the soldiers on the other wagon abandoned the corpses he caught a glimpse of strawberry blonde hair. He knew those were the bodies of his squad that was abandoned but there was nothing to be done about it. They were already gone. He wanted to look away but he couldn’t. It was his order and he was the one would have to shoulder the responsibilities. As much as it made his heart throb in pain, he wouldn’t turn his gaze away from them.

Soon enough they had gained some distance between them and the Titan’s and were far out of their reach. They made a little break then to ascertain their location and let their tired horses rest for a few moments.

He decided to climb down from the wagon and made his way over to Dieter, who seemed to be in some kind of shock-induced trance until Levi stood right in front of him.

„Captain Levi… I…“

„This proves that they were alive. To me, at least.“

With that Levi gave him the Survey Corps emblem he had kept in his pocket. „This was Ivan’s.“

„Captain…“ Dieter started to cry but he couldn’t stand there any longer.

He had lied of course. Obviously, this wasn’t Ivan’s.

It was Petra’s.

Dieter wouldn’t know the difference though. It hurt to give away the last memento he had of his squad but it was okay. Dieter would probably take good care of it and then he too could have something to honor his late friends. And he himself… He still had the last piece of his squad. The one person he could still share these memories with even if he wished they would have had much more time together. But Eren was still there, still alive and therefore he would hold onto her with everything he had and he refused to lose her. Not today, nor anytime in the future.

 

As they got closer to the walls Eren finally began to stir. When her eyes opened, she first turned to Mikasa, who was now sitting on her other side again. „Eren…“

Eren slowly tried to sit up, wincing at the strain it caused.

„Don’t try to get up yet. Rest up.“

Coming more to awareness Eren’s eyes suddenly widened. „The female Titan…?!“

„It escaped.“

„Why? What happened to the others? What about the plan?“

„It failed. Lay still for now.“

„What’s going on? Did you save me again?“

Mikasa just shook her head slightly and shortly glanced over at Levi. Eren didn’t miss that and followed her sister's gaze. Only now did she notice him sitting next to her.

„Levi!“

His gaze had never left her the entire time and even now that she caught him, he didn’t avert his gaze. „It’s alright now brat. Rest. We’re almost back to the walls.“ Eren nodded slowly and lay back down.

 

Coming back inside the walls was more terrible than ever. All the people were out in the streets but not to welcome them back or to encourage them to keep going after the horrors they had faced. But rather accuse them of wasting lives, taxes, and supplies. Of course, it was easy for them to say these things. They had no idea what happened beyond the walls, they didn’t know what it was like to face these horrors out there themselves. They could never understand.

Eren was sitting up again, obviously agitated and frustrated. But it was no use to get angry at them, it wouldn’t make them understand. Eren stopped herself though at the sight of two children admiring the Survey Corps. They still believed in them.

As Eren began to cry Mikasa took her hand, silently supported her sister. She didn’t say anything either as Levi took Eren’s other hand in his and stroked her hair soothingly. Eren tried to muffle her cries and sobs until they finally died out and she slowly drifted off to sleep again.

 

When they arrived back at headquarters he ignored all and every protest, barely even registering them as he took the sleeping Eren in his arms and carried her right up to his own room. He knew that was not appropriate at all but at that moment he didn’t give a single fuck. There was no way he was going to bring her back down to the dirty, cold cell that was her room. Besides he wasn’t quite ready to be separated from her yet. He needed to feel her pulse, hear the gentle inhale and exhale of her breath to assure himself that she was still alive.

He didn’t talk to anybody that evening, except for Hanji whom he let in to take care of his ankle. They were smart enough not to comment on Eren being curled up on his bed but instead informed him that Erwin would come by sometime the next day to inform them of the new plan. They told him to take a good rest too and quickly took their leave afterward.

And that's how he came to lie next to Eren, holding onto her for dear life, unwilling to let go. It was way out of character for him to be so childish and clingy, selfish even. But at the moment he just couldn’t help it. Eren’s closeness was the only thing that kept him grounded at that point.

When Eren woke up a few hours later he prepared himself to be pushed away, which was basically inevitable and maybe to be yelled at. Her eyes widened and she seemed to be very confused. However, that came to a quick end as the memories flooded back and her eyes filled with tears once again. Instead of pushing him away she buried her face in his chest, gripping at the back of his shirt tightly as her tears began to wet the fabric of his shirt.

Had it been anyone else he probably would’ve been grossed out. With Eren however, he didn’t mind at all. He quickly wound his arms around her, holding her to his chest tightly, as he buried his face in her hair. It was completely silent except for the occasional sob that escaped her mouth.

Only in the early hours of the morning, when the sun had already begun to rise did they finally fall into an exhausted sleep. Even then they never let go of one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I suppose this chapter was relatively long. But again I stuck pretty close to canon.  
> Even so, I hope you enjoyed the new chapter.  
> And this time the update won't take as long, I promise! ^^,
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. I'm always really happy! :D

**Author's Note:**

> I'll admit that the first chapter doesn't contain much original content... But I can promise you that I already have lot's of own ideas for this, so don't worry. ^^;  
> I still hope you liked it a bit and you're still interested in reading the next chapters. Also I apologize that Levi wasn't part of the first chapter. He'll make his appearance in the next chapter though. I'm also grateful for any feedback and constructive criticism. ^^
> 
> On a little side note, I myself was rather skeptical of a female Eren in the beginning, or gender bent in general. But than I read a few stories and was pleasantly surprised that I actually liked it too. At the same time I got the idea for this story but saved it until now. And well... here we are now. I myself am not so happy with the first chapter, the summary and so on. Buuut... I have, as I said, lots of ideas I want to write and I'd be glad if you are willing to give it a chance too. :)


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